How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[ilovecornsyrup]

Maybe you don't know it but you probably have. Don't hate yourself.

I don't think I hate myself. It's just that if I was to die today I would burn in hell and I don't think most people would even disagree.

This is a PL but I spent all my teenage years being a junkie and while I don't want to spell out the logistics you can probably figure. Now I'm sober and have my own apartment, a non-soul-destroying job, and I guess I feel fine apart from there being a hole in my heart. I kinda feel like a convict who has walked out of a prison, after having spent most of his life there, who doesn't know what to do with the real world.

I know that my past has made me jaded and bitter and I try to counteract that by being optimistic and nice to say my coworkers, but I think it will never be enough to counteract everything I have seen and done. I know what I deserve.

 

[Getmeout]

Well I do partially agree with you. You should kill yourself. I could normally empathize with someone having such crushing self esteem and depression, but the difference is that I wouldn't want my worst enemy to feel this way. I just want to vanish and not be a burden to the world anymore. You though, you want your sickness to infect those around you, so fuck you, down the road not across the street and do a backflip while you're at it.

If I hate myself for being black every other black person should.