How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

I'm the good kind of tired, did a few more involved tasks I had been putting off like steam cleaning drapes, shampooing carpets, cleaning fans/walls/ceilings, cleaning baseboards with a toothbrush, and rubbing dryer sheets on them to avoid static, ya know. That was on top of my daily maintenance tasks and Sunday chores (deep cleaning the bathrooms and cleaning everyone's sheets) so I'm satisfied with my work. Picked up dinner instead of making it since it had been a while, so this rest with my husband feels great.
I got a bit in my feelings about how I had only ever lived in small apartments prior to getting married and felt it was so daunting to be responsible for keeping up with a whole-ass house, I felt like I was never making a dent into my chores so I was overcome with a weird sense of pride about how far I've come considering that I'm now much more efficient and able to prioritize better with the added challenge of having a bunch of young kids around nowadays. I know it's kind of silly to be proud of something like this since I've accomplished things that were objectively harder/more societally valued than housekeeping skills and since it's just basic functioning to keep your space clean, but again this house is like 4x bigger than my last apartment and there's a whole lot more people here than just me.
Hope that in another few years, I look back at my current level of housewife proficiency and think of how much I've grown into my role.
 
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Triple Flutz said:
I'm the good kind of tired, did a few more involved tasks I had been putting off like steam cleaning drapes, shampooing carpets, cleaning fans/walls/ceilings, cleaning baseboards with a toothbrush, and rubbing dryer sheets on them to avoid static, ya know. That was on top of my daily maintenance tasks and Sunday chores (deep cleaning the bathrooms and cleaning everyone's sheets) so I'm satisfied with my work. Picked up dinner instead of making it since it had been a while, so this rest with my husband feels great.
I got a bit in my feelings about how I had only ever lived in small apartments prior to getting married and felt it was so daunting to be responsible for keeping up with a whole-ass house, I felt like I was never making a dent into my chores so I was overcome with a weird sense of pride about how far I've come considering that I'm now much more efficient and able to prioritize better with the added challenge of having a bunch of young kids around nowadays. I know it's kind of silly to be proud of something like this since I've accomplished things that were objectively harder/more societally valued than housekeeping skills and since it's just basic functioning to keep your space clean, but again this house is like 4x bigger than my last apartment and there's a whole lot more people here than just me.
Hope that in another few years, I look back at my current level of housewife proficiency and think of how much I've grown into my role.
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Give yourself the credit you deserve. Handling a large house is no small task, especially when you have a high standard for what is "good" (and I think you do). My gist of you is that you work very hard to do it to your utmost ability, and you don't fritter away your days, so be proud of what you do. Anyone who thinks running a home well is easy hasn't done it. You're doing it.
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As for me, though my productivity has been less-than-ideal this weekend, I'm jazzed. I got a position I was vying for and start the new role in the next few weeks. It's going to mean some changes to my low-key lifestyle of late, but it's a good move. The next year will be another push, even more than the past year, but I'm excited about it. I am glad to be back on track and upping my game. My initial main intent is to stay hungry, not relaxing because I got what I wanted, but instead identifying and setting the next goal and going as hard for it as I did this one.
 
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Shit was rough for awhile but I'm doing better now. My dumbass decided to ask a FWB to be my girlfriend after we spent every weekend for a year together, she said "no" and tried to tell me I was settling. Decided to focus on myself for awhile. Now I'm banging someone's wife and she wants to start bringing other women over.
 
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Triple Flutz said:
I'm the good kind of tired, did a few more involved tasks I had been putting off like steam cleaning drapes, shampooing carpets, cleaning fans/walls/ceilings, cleaning baseboards with a toothbrush, and rubbing dryer sheets on them to avoid static, ya know. That was on top of my daily maintenance tasks and Sunday chores (deep cleaning the bathrooms and cleaning everyone's sheets) so I'm satisfied with my work. Picked up dinner instead of making it since it had been a while, so this rest with my husband feels great.
I got a bit in my feelings about how I had only ever lived in small apartments prior to getting married and felt it was so daunting to be responsible for keeping up with a whole-ass house, I felt like I was never making a dent into my chores so I was overcome with a weird sense of pride about how far I've come considering that I'm now much more efficient and able to prioritize better with the added challenge of having a bunch of young kids around nowadays. I know it's kind of silly to be proud of something like this since I've accomplished things that were objectively harder/more societally valued than housekeeping skills and since it's just basic functioning to keep your space clean, but again this house is like 4x bigger than my last apartment and there's a whole lot more people here than just me.
Hope that in another few years, I look back at my current level of housewife proficiency and think of how much I've grown into my role.
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You’re doing a lot better than me. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who cleans up or does the laundry at all, and I resent that, and it does not motivate me to do the laundry or clean more. Then my mom and houseguests get on me “blah blah blah your yard is a mess, you need to clean your front door and the windows, why haven’t you organized you closet for the season?” Etc. :(
 
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Stan said:
You’re doing a lot better than me. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who cleans up or does the laundry at all, and I resent that, and it does not motivate me to do the laundry or clean more. Then my mom and houseguests get on me “blah blah blah your yard is a mess, you need to clean your front door and the windows, why haven’t you organized you closet for the season?” Etc. :(
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I was in the same situation (SO had way higher clutter tolerance than me). I started doing the bare minimum too. When my mom would nag me, I'd invite her to help me.

Nothing has ever motivated my SO to clean up after themselves like my mom putting their shit away for them. Really hasn't been a problem since.
 
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i hate it when men i really like are more successful than me. it makes me insecure wtf!!!!!!!
 
Stan said:
You’re doing a lot better than me. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who cleans up or does the laundry at all, and I resent that, and it does not motivate me to do the laundry or clean more. Then my mom and houseguests get on me “blah blah blah your yard is a mess, you need to clean your front door and the windows, why haven’t you organized you closet for the season?” Etc. :(
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That sounds really disheartening, I'm so sorry, it would drive me nuts as well and I would not appreciate the comments denigrating the work I do.
I will say that I'm in the position of being a homemaker which allows me a whole lot more time and mental space for cleaning, there's no way I could do all of this on top of a full-time job or studying- back when I was doing both of those things, I had a clean space but certainly didn't clean baseboards as often as I do, and I also didn't have others living with me which lessened the workload to start with. The household chores are on me other than yardwork and taking out the trash, but I'm not expected to bring any money in and that allows me to truly focus on what needs to be done because all of that fog is taken on by my husband and I'm not expected to provide in any way- he just asks what we need and perceives what we want and makes it happen, and any money I get from silly extras like surveys or product testing is saved so I can chimp out on Christmas and birthday presents in secret without surprises being spoiled when my husband takes a look at the checking account.
If you're working or studying, (or both!) then I would absolutely expect for others in the household to pick up and clean after themselves. One of the things that made me certain that I was choosing the right man to marry was my husband's patience when I was learning how to manage the household when we were newlyweds, and I was sure to repay it when he was building up his career and money and time were tight. I'd have felt pretty resentful if I was the only one expected to carry our household without fumbling and without support.
 
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well here's another mental health update:

its a monday and im at home instead of at college, (after withdrawing, im going to be back next fall), and yesterday i felt really bad but today im doing okay.

earlier the doctor recommended trying biofeedback instead of medicine and im going to have an appointment to try that out.
you can look up biofeedback if you don't know what it is, it's pretty fascinating stuff. but its sad how the "healthcare" system is set up in a way where you don't get recommended the more holistic treatments at first, they just throw a bunch of SSRIs and SNRIs at you first to see what happens.

but im also worried about my brother since he's also failing some classes but he's too stubborn to consider taking a break from college. i can tell he's under a lot of stress but it's hard to communicate with him right now. i just wish he was here at home and that we could work though this together.
well im not feeling as good now that im thinking about this but i guess ill just hit the post reply button
 
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Work was good. Today was a bad day as the guys I'd be working with were off so me and another new hire were working alone and the first snow blizzard of the year happened today so it was wet and cold, and I stayed late to help find a customer item that was needed for tomorrow (it was where it was supposed to be). But I enjoyed this work, and the company seems nice without being overly familiar, and I might have the opportunity to lead for this specific task.

Other guy that started today quit. It's his first Midwestern winter and the work is outdoors a lot.
 
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My dumbass failed to switch to my winter jacket and grab gloves and a toque. And I'm still stiff and sore from yesterday. I think I make this mistake once a year.
 
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I broke up with my ex. I could write a whole post for the farms about this person, but it's wiser not to. Let's just say she was the epitome of what the Farms hated and I mostly dated her for sex and curiosity. I liked her good parts, and if she stayed good I could have liked her, but BPD don't work that way.

She tried to go on and libel me the way BPD does, but I never showed her my dark side. Hell, she never knew how much I loathed her politics or her idiotic ideas about the world. Truly, she was the worst. More red flags than China, and I saw them all, but I've seen it all already and have learned how to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I turned the tables and messaged her friends, not defending myself but pointing out the most obvious lie she told that was everyone else would know was a lie.

Here's a tip to dealing with BPD women: they're angry AND afraid, and they're massively obsessed with their reputation and losing their friends. Their peer group is where you exert the pressure. No big long, grand movements; you're planting seeds meant to germinate in months later from now. Anyway, I showed a small part of my mind and the slander stopped... for now. But BPD does what it do, and relationships are unstable. The mask will slip, and people will come back to thinking about me and what I said...

Early on in the relationship I showed her a bit of my doxxing investigative powers. She was a little stunned. You do these things for multiple reasons, sometimes seemingly contradictory. One, to flash the cards up your sleeve just a little bit so they know you have claws just as much as they do. Two, to show that I could also protect (in that case, myself, but potentially anyone) with my ability to get the information I want.

Far from the sad and lonely little boy I used to be, I have learned the language of bad behavior. You see, I know what BPD does. I know what people do. I've been strapped to this wheel far too long. I knew these attacks were coming and where they'd be, and she didn't think I'd see. But I saw almost immediately, because I'm not some normal pleb that walks through life with a blank and empty brain.
 
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