How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[bliblblblbbllb]

Noticed my hospital does the same thing. Had a VPN I was going to use anyways since I don't trust walled gardens in the first place, just found it funny how the site was marked "questionable" as the reasoning for the block.

Thread tax: Wasn't even 5 seconds into the first chemo med before I had to hit the nurse button. Whole mouth went numb, got real hot, and I started seeing fuzzies which is usually indicating I'm about to faint. They had to cut it off and give me some sort of pill cocktail before trying again. Got through the first two bags of chemo shit. One more to go for the night.

When I first looked over your post I thought you were going to say you paged the nurse 5 seconds into chemo to demand they unblock the Farms on hospital wifi, LOL.

Please feel welcome (imho) to give as many updates as you want because I know this is the type of stuff that sometimes is hard IRL because people can get so weird IRL about it, they don't know how to react properly.

---

I bought 12 cubic feet of dirt today. I know people say "I never thought this is what I'd grow up to be excited about" but they're wrong. Even when I was a boy I wanted those bags of dirt at the Home Depot. I am expanding my gardening ventures by about 3x this year. Going up and saying "I would like 12 cubic feet of dirt delivered to my house please" was the highlight of my month.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

A lot of stuff has happened to me in the last couple of weeks, but it was a mix of outside things that affected the family at large.

My mother is about to retire this year from her job at the federal government for almost 30+ years and our friendly neighbor was reportedly robbed in the afternoon, and the robbers took almost everything from her and her young infant’s son room. She ended up having to get a new door and lock, as well as electronic camera security systems for both the front and back. Now, my family has gotten nervous to the point where they’re considering doing the same thing.
Where I live, it’s rare that you hear home robberies happening in this neighborhood.

As for me, there’s a chance that I will be looking for a new job soon. It’s just a quick change of pace, but it says a lot that so much can happen in a short amount of time. I’ll just have to make most of what I’m being given here.

 

[Berserker Armor]

Thinking about taking an internet hiatus next month

Gonna give this a try. Made a list of things I want to do. Very excited about some of them. had a two things happen since making this post.
Positive: managed to get in with a psychiatrist. Medication sucks but without it my anxiety is quite out of control. It would be nice to leave the house stress free.
Negative: most likely backing out of seeing my family next month. Had a really just.. stressful phone call with my parents that made me realize some things about my relationship with my family and also… if a phone call nearly makes me have a panic attack having one in front of them as per history is not ideal.
Hoping this does me some good. I eventually would like to phase out my internet usage as much as possible. Don't think I will ever completely stop cuz god that’s impossible in this day and age. So if I don’t post next month I’m not dead. If anyone sees me online yell at my ass. I dunno.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Using GPT to refine my job applications has made me able to be more wacky with them. If you write a paragraph of qualitative, humanity-infused prose and then let gpt make it flow better, that's a good solution. Granted, chatgpt is too indifferent and deepseek is too colorful, so I still end up merging the two. Yet, every time I sit back with a feeling of "I didn't touch on half the points I wanted to". I've been to a 3-course/workshop with recruitment consultants, and they did the whole "90% of employers want to see you write yourself into this new job rather than reference your prior", but I know that's bullshit and they just want to hire someone similar to whoever just quit.

Anyway: Weather is getting better, I'm doing strides in planning my team's holidays and such, learning how to better manage shifts and people. Shiftplanning is a hugely common job in the public sector but I've no idea how to get there other than hope my superior finds a course for me sometime as they promised. And then what, that's one entry on my resume they won't read. I really need to stop focusing on jobs and instead struggle with hobbies. Every time I get into a headspace of "Fuck yeah, summer of fightan games", I immediately look at all the bullshit parts of them and lose interest. Rinse repeat with literally every genre. I've lost that spark of "I wanna do this so bad I'll do it despite the difficulties".

 

[Piss Bear]

I'm living abroad in another country and have been for almost a year. My grandma was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and has a huge ovarian cyst, my sister needs surgery too, I'm lonely with no friends here. Unsure what to do at this point. Just passing time until my visa expires but feeling like shit about being here and not being there for my family. But I am so far away from my home country which makes things so complicated.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Neighbour has been mostly quiet. Sent so many noise complaints that they probably give her an ultimatum to clear down or get fucked. Stupid renting law but at least the bitch sticks to herself and keeps her butchering of The Killers to a zero.

Anyway, I got the cold, yay! Coughing like a sick dog, shivering like a wet dog, and tired like an overworked dog. So I've been doing little today from eating soup and drinking tea.

A bud paid me a visit yesterday and a lot of people I know have sick kids or sick relatives as it's the season of sickness. Lovely.

 

[Lovely Kin]

A group I listened to in the past finally reunited and they released a beautiful ballad recently. I felt a mixture of emotions, happiness and sadness at the same time. It's a really touching song especially when it was thought they would never reunite again.

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Pretty much done with my house now, just some very minor cosmetic jobs that can wait. Nice to have weekends and evenings pretty much free these days. That includes all the work in the garden too. Just need a barbecue setup now and we're ready.

One for the men: I've been a DE shaver for about 15 years now, and am contemplating switching to a straight, a legitimate solid razor that I'd need to hone and keep sharp. I've fucked around with a shavette in the past, but since it wasn't 'legit' I soon discarded it.

Anyone use a straight/did use one? I'm doing the research, though you get a LOT of conflicting viewpoints as far as razor management, necessary equipment, techniques, etc. Reddit isn't a particularly reliable source, as the shaving subs are full of bugmen and conso0mers who claim you need a dozen whetstones and other shit just to keep an edge. Contrary to that, you see Paki barbers on YouTube wielding straights with ease, and they do nothing more than sharpen using one stone, then finish the strop on their HANDS or trousers. Never seen them knick a customer, so they obviously know their shit.

Ideally, I'm holding out for an antique Solingen, French edge, with some kind of 'unique' scales if possible (seen some with wicked carvings in bone, they look ace.) But really, I'm just trying to narrow down what 'mission critical' equipment before I do anything.

 

[IKOL]

I think I need to be more honest with myself and people around. Maybe then I'll get to see things straight.. Lol no who I try to bullshit there.

So far I don't see straight. Haven't in a while, got told I'm embarrassment and failure nobody wants around, my life worthless, I do things nobody needs,im just wasting everyone else time and resources. Well I heard ya. Rejoice in this I guess.

EDIT: also to quit drinking alco at all. Fuck that, fuck our family friends, I swear to god it was a mistake sitting with them yesterday evening.

 

[Betonhaus]

I'm at AMA waiting on line to get insurance for gramma's old van to replace my car that goes through a gallon of oil a week in warm weather.

 

[Myra]

Up until the past few days I've felt really under the weather but I am doing much better now. I have not been on a proper vacation in over 10 years and today I booked TWO trips for later in the year.
How are YOU?

 

[obsdj]

Up until the past few days I've felt really under the weather but I am doing much better now. I have not been on a proper vacation in over 10 years and today I booked TWO trips for later in the year.
How are YOU?

Meh. Depressed. Off my meds since I can't afford an in-person visit to renew the Rx. Eating not so healthy, not fast food but not real healthy meals either. Trying to force myself back into good habits and usually failing. Circumstances always exacerbate my depression and anxiety so it's a fun feedback loop.

 

[Betonhaus]

I bought a new van (well new to me) and sold the old car to a scrapper. That constitutes the remainder of the big expenses I had to do, so I should slowly be able to save and pay off my debt.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Doing alright, my family managed to finish up some annoying personal financial stuff. Big positive but now I'm considering if I want to get into a hobby. Been kinda bored with what I've mostly been doing for a while now. Considered something more crafty or even picking up a firearm for target shooting.

 

[DavidS877]

Mom is improving. Looks like her insurance will insist in skilled nursing instead of a dedicated rehabilitation facility. At least as fast as she's improving it shouldn't be too long, and close enough to my idiot brother that he can drive and visit daily and keep an eye on them.

The only thing worse than the part about having a family member in the hospital is the insurance. Kaiser, not even once.

Will get some more cleaning done on the house here before I get to head out once she's transferred, at least collecting trash is somewhat therapeutic.

Finally got the car up to 65mph for the first time in a week when hauling stuff to the dump. I hate cities and city driving so much.

VPN works at the hospital. Brought the iPad which has Wireguard already setup. Phone didn't have anything but I was too lazy to remotely setup a new WG tunnel on my PFsense router at home so I used the already setup OpenVPN client from my previous phone, with a new name. Which was just download and click file. PFSense doesn't have WG quite as automated. All my mobile VPNs terminate at home, then I run a single VPN off my home network for the things I need obfuscated.

 

[Sauro]

Why thank you my friend, I am doing well. I simply hope you’re doing fine yourself

 

[Mandy Stroyer]

Thought I had the digestive issues to a semi functional level, even if it meant hardly eating and thus sleeping all day. I'm pretty sure I set them off again by eating a fatty medium-well steak, which has triggered symptoms every other time I've eaten it so that's on me. Thank you campylobacter. I'm hoping its a one off and I can revert back to my routine soon. Dug out my old skateboard now that the weather is warming up to hopefully stave off my chronic vitamin d malabsorption with outdoor time. Considering getting a cat fren given the health issues and unemployment get resolved, always wanted a cat fren and my last pet died in 2020 at the ripe old age of 10. About time I had another creature running around my house besides myself.

Spoiler: bunny tax

I miss this goober, she was a sweetie.

 

[isalaide]

Siblings appear to be under the misapprehension that if they paw at the metaphorical door enough, I will relent and once again participate in the low budget horror film that is The Antics of My Parents, oh and also fund it too.

Thought about it, vibe checked with my current professional, and the siblings will be going on the no-contact bonfire too. This shit has no place in my life any more. Either the siblings learn to cope, or they do what frankly we all ought to have done long long ago and be done with this shit too. That's a decision for them to make.

Me, I deserve my peace.

 

[Overly Serious]

I'm alright myself but I'm struggling a little to hold onto my faith in humanity. This is something I've been battling to do for some time now and year after year it has taken more knocks. It may sound a small thing but it's a pretty fundamental thing to who I am and how I behave. I cling to it because without it what reason do I still have to try and make things better? And if I give in to that hopelessness then my path seems to be to just be selfish and look after myself and my own and give up trying to make a difference to how things are generally.

Multiple times in my life I've really tried to make a difference and way too often the people who've shut down my efforts are the very people in positions of power who claim to be trying to do the same thing.

I don't want to be part of the problem. I'm not allowed to be part of the solution.

I try to look around me at the good people I've known. Genuinely good people. It helps. But I could use some more wins.

 

[I Know 孤独のせい]

I am doing fine, I suppose. No idea what's going on, but it was never that bad with allergies around this time of the year. Got something from a pharmacy, which I hope helps. Had issues with my neighbor in January/February because he wouldn't stfu at night but calling the police finally helped so far. Hope it stays that way. Moving away is not an option, unfortunately.

Have an important exam coming up, hoping to get a decent grade.

Otherwise, bought my self a drawing tablet. Wanted to try something else, maybe it becomes a new hobby but at least I can give it a shot.