How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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I took the Utah offer. I still don't know how or when I'm getting across the US from the Eastern shore. My truck is 14 years old. I don't think it would survive.

I've been so stress the last four weeks from getting fired that I'm just dealing with a dull headache. It almost feels like I got a hangover. And of course, as soon as I sign the offer letter, I get contacted by a bunch of people offering jobs, though every single one of them requires me to move anyway.

I started boxing some shit up. Depressingly, I noticed a box I haven't open from when I moved to my damn house over a decade ago. Cant seem to find my truck title.

I'm gonna ask my neighbor to check on my house while I'm trying to find a place in Utah and then try to figure out if I want to sell it or rent it out.

I really wish my life had not been blown up by a retard in HR.
 
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Welp, as soon as I became content with my current job and stopped thinking about quitting for almost a month, my boss decided to fire one employee and take a part-time instead. The guy already knows he is out of the door, so he is doing his job accordingly, meaning I already have more shit to do. Part time would know fuck all and for some time will be basically a dead weight and even when he learns, he is a part time, he has no reason to try harder. Worst of all we're gonna be back on the last year schedule and it sucked ass so hard that I basically quit, but my boss gave me two days to rest and chill with my decision. Let me tell you, I'd be fucking happy to quit this shit, but I cannot make any life-changing decisions right now, I need some time in a state of things where I don't move anywhere and do not adapt to new conditions. Worst of all - the life-long thought of "feeling happy attracts bad luck" is crushing me again right after I felt somewhat ok. I really don't need all this shit right now.
 
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goodbye world.webp
God I wish that ewere mwe
 
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My dad is declining rapidly with his sickness, I asked him about hospice. I'm feeling really frustrated and saddened at the same time. He keeps going "I was a doctor, I don't want hospice care, I'm going to die anyways. I rather die faster than me living longer." I hate hearing him talk like this and he's not even that old. I don't want to force him into anything either. Been going to his house every evening too, and sometimes spending the night to make sure he's okay. He tells me he appreciates it but keeps going "I don't need help" and his excuse is always "I'm a doctor. I know what I need." I know he was a doctor, I know he was respected. But it's just fucking hard. Sometimes he makes jokes about dying too, and I know he's not suicidal, but it always bothers me :(
 
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The internet has been down for the past eight hours. Something about some damage done to the service, so now the entire island I live on has been hit - those with this particular ISP.

I'll manage, of course. (Been using data on my phone for stuff). I much prefer this to a power outage any day of the week, but I am a bit floored at how long his particular outage has been. Outages usually last 30-45 minutes at best and an hour or so at worst.

Not eight fucking hours. Jesus.

Also, I am going to a birthday party tomorrow. THANKFULLY, it's a relaxed gathering. No intoxication here. I look forward to that.

Edit: the downtime is nearing twelve hours. I am getting a little bit annoyed.
 
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JustStopDude said:
Where I am at, it's a crapshoot of what kind of tennants I could end up with. I think I would be devastated is some meth heads tricked me and destroyed the place I restored.

I was really planning on dying in this place, as macabre as that sounds.

There is a nearby college/medical school but what kind of student needs a five bedroom, three bath, with a garage, house, overlooking a mountain valley?

Losing the job is one thing. The way this moron HR asshole, who didn't even understand what I did, nor what the company does for that matter, completely upended my life, I'm just really pissed.
Click to expand...
Honestly, if I were you, I'd just take the pay cut and think about a side gig. I'd rather be happy but have less money than have a lot of money and be unhappy.
I lived through both, having everything you could ever want is definitely nice, but feels very hollow.

I actually chose to give up more luxurious living arrangements to be with my boyfriend (now husband) we're poor as shit now and I unironically don't think I could be happier.
 
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Today has been rough,random tweet that I posted long ago suddenly got traction and now im getting retards in my notification feed.
Dont even wanna block them cause I know they thrive on attention, even though I reported them I have zero expectation of it going anywhere seeing how twitter is.
I also been dealing with a libtard faggot in a WW2 form thats been spam posting me for a couple of days now.
What a great way to start this day with.
 
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Felt like checking back in on this thread again while my body's still alert. Not going too deep into shit, but I'm in the same situation as months back, which was a same situation as years back minus lack of people that COULD help feigning concern and there being a schedule to line up outside menial shit. So essentially further stagnant hell. Been unable to get clean enough lines when drawing, feels like I just get worse the more I try to do anything, been dead most of the day save when it's like 3-5AM for some insane reason. Birthdays like next week and it feels like this years just passed by like nothing. I didn't want to end up in this hell, but there are far worse hells. Thankful for what I've got but MAN I wanna DO SOME SHIT AND STOP MISSING SHIT.

I was going to do like an elaborate funny image to go with this to capture the feeling since my stupid ass sense of humor is all I got now but it kept coming out wrong so I've just decided to send the unfinished rough one lmao.
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I MAY BE A LOSER MONKEY MAN
BUT ONLINE, I'M NEPETA A LOSER MONKEY MAN WITH A HOMESUCK KIWI PFP

Been thinking about my health more in general the last year or 2 but never really brought it up. Not like gonna stop drinking soda, can't do that cause shit's like my coffee even if caffeine never did anything to me awakeness wise. I think I said it in genchat or something once but like last year or so I got startled by myself in the mirror because I kinda looked like a fucked up jim carrey riddler. It's devolved further when I've caught glimpses of my reflection and in my state of unhealth and lack of proper sleep I am currently at facially i look like an unholy mix of thin jack black and the gigachad. Caveman, basically. Should probably shave tomorrow because facial hair as unshavable and thick as mine is fucking does not look good on me. Like I'm not talking beard here with the thick facial hair, I mean the hairs themselves are thick and harsh. So I guess if you ever want to envision how I look and separate it from pfp stuff just imagine someone that looks like a fucked up hybrid in between of those 3 faces I guess.

Now that I got reminded of this I'm tempted to do one of those rotoscoped images I did with other people's avatars last year but with this fucking image god help me.
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Yes I know this devolved into complete nonsense ramblings but it's important someway I think. many shit utterances later I may hopefully get out of shit hell someday. Hoping to be not-dead enough in a few days to finally do some fucking cleaning that I've been meaning to the last 3-5 years. You know actual SORTING shit. Fuck it does not feel like 2020 was 5 years back now, at least for me. Gonna go get 2 whole ass hours of sleep now before waking and doing my daily zombie ass tasks and routine.

TL;DR: Still in stagnant hell, still rotting, fun times were had by all
 
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