How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Annoyed. Got off work yesterday, told my superior I could not come in to work overtime on my days off this week. That I understand we’re short handed but I need to get caught up on a few things at home and need the time. Said he understood and wished me a good day.

Get a call from work around 4 in the afternoon. I let it go to voicemail, it’s him asking me to come in. I text him back saying that I was sorry but I can’t, I’m busy.

Get another call at 8:30 last night asking me to come in. I don’t answer.

Got a call from the head of my branch at 5:30 in the fucking morning waking me up asking me to come in and work overtime….for two hours.



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It's really fucking cold were I am at today, I was waking up for almost a whole hour and falling asleep for like 10 minutes all morning. so I'm just sitting in my bed with my husband (he just woke up) getting some warmth and talking to him. today is an off day for both of us so I hope to do more things with him today.
 
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The shittiest neighbors moved in and I've been losing sleep for months. The more I tried to get a compromise out of them the worse they get, especially the white girl with pink dreads. I'm autistically logging all the evidence possible which is incredibly easy. This isn't an area where I have to get used to it like a bugman, but I'm still cautious that nothing will/can be done and am looking at other options. I'm not going to be forced to move though, and earplugs aren't an option due to some issues. It's bad enough the vibrations from the impacts can be felt anyway.
 
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ExsanguinateHorizon said:
It's bad enough the vibrations from the impacts can be felt anyway.
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That pretty much precludes it being a workmanship/soundproofing issue too. What assholes. While contingencies are always a good idea that's the kind of shit I would metaphorically go to war over. When something is that regular and that bad it springs from being a shithead. I had a few friends in college that worked with management companies and the tenant feuds could always be interesting.
 
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lately i've been going absolutely mentally insane about my privacy and realised my opsec wasn't good enough, i might not be able to sleep today as i have a large barrage of thoughs flowing through
 
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Markorian said:
She trusted me, and I let her down. I'm angry at myself, and if I'm being honest, there's a part of me upset that she's not angry at me too.
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She still does trust you.
I think the important part here is to really process why do you think you feel that way?
Consider a grief support group, to really process this loss. If you do end up concieving this loss should be worked on/ resolved.

Also have you guys considered a burial? Sometimes I heard that helps with the grieving process even if it was not viable.
 
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spent a number of days in hospice care. now they've got me on hydroxyzine for my anxiety which has helped me to actually get sleep. for those wondering what a psych ward is like, it's basically just limbo. same thing every day, never go outside or get any visitors. wouldn't recommend it unless absolutely necessary.
 
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It's still cold where I'm at today, I just got off of work and got home about 10 minutes ago and all I just did was turn on my PC, started Yakuza Kiwami, loaded my premium adventure save, turned on MSI Afterburner and had it on my 2nd monitor. It's doing quite well in making this room warm.
 
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kidsquid said:
I was in your wife's shoes twice last year. It fucking sucks, I know, but she won't blame you. My partner felt the exact same - he thought it was his fault cause he'd gone and gotten me pregnant. Keep your chin up, and give yourself a few months to recover because you'll need it.
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It's shit, but it gets easier.
 
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I'm doing a lot better.
I got Covid, then I got an ear infection, so I was sick for like a week. I also lost an expected work contract, so I was unemployed for like a month. I got a bit depressed about that. But now I'm on the mend.
I'm looking for new jobs, also planning on building a garden outside my apartment, so I get to go buy the plants and flowers for that soon, since the weather's finally better.
 
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I'm doing pretty good. Did some house chores, had a walk, work wasn't as annoying and went to church. Small things, but they're satisfying.
 
I've been working out daily for the last couple months and i know for a fact i am not eating enough calories for it but i am still gaining weight. My clothes are fitting worse and i just feel and look bloated despite my efforts.

i am still coping thinking i am swollen from muscle gain or something and will eventually come down but i don't think is normal, i've set up similar routines and lost weight many times before, so if i keep going on this for a couple months more and still no change i might have to go to a doctor to see what the fuck is going on with my metabolism, i've been suspecting some hormonal imbalance for a while, i have been feeling physically fucked up for some time.
 
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It's been 36 hours, I'm finally sober after taking edibles. I feel great! Better than ive felt in years and like every negative feeling and thought has been blown away by a gentle breeze.

Though I still recall bits and pieces of being completely mezzed when they kicked in. Time was slower I questioned every second I have ever lived and ever will live.. It was almost like... An enlightenment in some way.
 
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