How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Had surgery for suspected melanoma and the doctors cut out a lot more skin than I expected. I'm full of stitches and can barely sleep because of the discomfort. I won't say "pain" because it isn't that bad, but it's hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in, and they told me I need to be careful about breaking the sutures. I look like fucking Frankenstein's monster in the mirror when I change the dressings, lol.

But it's good, they told me that unless it turns out to be super malignant, whatever it was is gone now. In a few weeks there'll only be scars left.
I wrote this almost a year ago and, well, it came back. Not only do I have to spend another summer with no sun and full of stitches, early stage melanoma developing twice in a year is... not good. I can look forward to more surgery and treatment as a regular thing from now and on.

Other than that I feel fine though. It won't interfere with my job - which I really enjoy for once - and it isn't a very lethal form of cancer as I've come to know. I feel much less shaken than last year and more "not this shit again", even though this is probably a lot worse, lmao.
 
Got a Verizon account suspension email even though I'm sure I paid off the past due balance. Hopefully it's just an error that got sent out because they weren't expecting a payment but I'm not home right now to know for sure... And it's gonna be a source of anxiety for the next 3 hours at minimum.

Wondering if I'm gonna go home to my internrt shut off I mean, least I still have my phone... For now.
 
I got covid a week ago, suspected 3rd time I've had it, first time confirmed via test. Not super annoying, sucked for about a day. Most annoying part is I had to pay for grocery delivery since it was timed oh so poorly. work didnt fight me at all on time off which is nice.

Had to fill up with gas, luckily hit sams club just before the price hike, got it for $4.39 when most stations were jumping to $5.09. went up two days later. Scored 33 gallons on the cheap.

Other then that things are pretty good. Looking forward to activities this summer.
I wrote this almost a year ago and, well, it came back. Not only do I have to spend another summer with no sun and full of stitches, early stage melanoma developing twice in a year is... not good. I can look forward to more surgery and treatment as a regular thing from now and on.

Other than that I feel fine though. It won't interfere with my job - which I really enjoy for once - and it isn't a very lethal form of cancer as I've come to know. I feel much less shaken than last year and more "not this shit again", even though this is probably a lot worse, lmao.
My father has had his third case of basal cell carcinoma in as many years, all in different places. He went through similar emotions, from "fuck fuck fuck fuck" to "oh shit not again" to now "alright bets on where the next one is?".

Hopefully like his yours will continue to be caught early and thus manageable with small surgeries. Annoying, but far preferable to alternatives. They've put him on 6 month intervals for full body skin checks now, hopefully they can do the same for you.
 
I woke up this morning and thought, I'm going to really spoil myself today. I'm going to have a shower and miraculously find some clean clothes to wear.

....yeah, I think I need to pay a bit more attention to my overall mental health.

Hopefully like his yours will continue to be caught early and thus manageable with small surgeries. Annoying, but far preferable to alternatives. They've put him on 6 month intervals for full body skin checks now, hopefully they can do the same for you.

Yeah, that's what most people over fifty or so do in my country. Skin cancers are very common here. Just keep checking yourself daily and go to skin clinics regularly, @DyingStarsForever, you'll probably be fine. You'll get some nice scars to impress the gender of your choice and everything.
 
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I know this may sound like a PL but I legit have no place else to go to talk to anyone about this. Follow up to earlier post, nope my internet is down until Verizon gets at least 98 dollars. I'm debating on talking to a store representive tommorow since I'm sure I paid off the past due balance and have till the 24th to pay the rest. But I can't help but feel like it'll just be a waste of time.

Least I still have my phone I guess. Hope that holds out and stays paid off.
 
I have an exam a week from tomorrow and it's really stressing me out. The course was only two months long and covered a lot of material in a short time. On top of that my math skills are not as good as I would like and I really only understand how to do about 35% of the material. I've been seeing a tutor who has helped me a lot and tomorrow I'm going to ask him what I should concentrate on for studying so I can make the most of the next week. Whatever happens I'm really looking forward to getting this damn class over with.
 
I find it real sad that it feels like this is about the only place I can have real conversations with people.

In lots of places, the people have no interest in most subjects.
I had a good social experience the other day, but even there it felt like a circlejerk, just a circlejerk that happened to line-up with my views reasonably well. I think they could be a good bunch to hang out with, but I feel like they're also pushy with their groupthink.
Today one of them was very belligerent over some nonsense. I'd had conversations about the subject matter many times with friends in the past who were quite at odds with me but respectful/open-minded enough to have a discussion, and I've had more productive conversations about religion on here even when I openly shit on certain denominations just to be nasty. It's something I feel bad about now because the nastiness was really no different just because there was no name or face attached to it, but it still is, you know?
If I want to talk about something in their group dedicated to talking about a thing, too, it feels like that doesn't really happen, it's more like memes and junk.

People shit on the Internet as a form of communication a lot, but anonymous Internet is often the only place where I see people really talking about things.
I get the feeling a lot of times IRL people have become so mentally cooked by everything they've become robotic and unable to emotionally function.
Although I'll tell you the same thing I always try to remember: if you're a bit of a neurotic person it's easy to channel stress through overtalkativeness, and not everyone processes in the same way. Half the time if you sit and think about it you'll realize you need some goal-oriented exercise and a hug much more than you need conversation.

As to being nasty online, what are you going to do, write a 5 paragraph disclaimer every time you say something just in case someone takes you too seriously or doesn't understand you're being hyperbolic or deliberately antagonistic for effect? Tiptoe around in case you offend anyone or something doesn't land how you anticipate?
That is why the internet sucks as a form of communication, because without context and tone you're never sure how much you have to elaborate, what audience you're dealing with, how sensitive their feelings are, or anything else.

Plus something that applies to speaking as well as performance is the fact that if you're talking or performing irl you get progressive nonverbal feedback so you know on an ongoing basis if you're on the same page or not. Online you have to write out a whole fucking stupid thought and post it then hang in limbo before knowing whether or not your audience is feeling it, if they understand you, or if they even care. The internet is just a very poor substitute.

It sucks, social isolation and lack of intimacy destroys the body, it jacks up blood pressure, it causes inflammation, it's as bad for your health as a pack a day smoking habit, but you can't go out to the street and catch people with a net gun then drag them into your living room to eat sauteed spinach and watch Planet Earth with you.
There's nothing wrong with people themselves, they aren't stupid, I just think they're so drained nowadays that they don't know how to care anymore.
 
Despite what's happened today... It's not the end of the world. It's a minor inconvenience and it can always be worse. There's always someone on earth who's got way worse problems than no internet for a few days... Or 2 weeks.


Sure it sucks like really sucks but you know what they say...
 
Since I have free time right now, I've decided that I'm going to learn how to code! I have absolutely zero coding experience, but that's why I want to learn. Per family member suggestion, I'm going to start with Python unless any fellow Kiwis have a better suggestion. I'm also trying to learn how to use Blender because I have a video game idea I'd like to make a reality.

Also, I don't see why all those SJWs are butthurt over "Learn to Code." I think it's interesting and empowering!
 
I've been watching Joe Pera talks with you, I debated on it at first but I decided to, it's very laid back and great to watch when you are sick. I'm feeling a bit better from yesterday but I can't breathe easily through my nose. Pretty sure it's probably a sinus infection now because my sinuses hurt, Not really bad, but they hurt. Me and the hubs Are going onto our gachimuchi marathon tonight and I'm so fucking excited!
 
Got passed over for another job today, probably for the best in the long run. I had to take one of those 'Personality Assessments' and write a three-page, academic style essay on the prompt of their choosing. Pretty sure an outfit that does that kind of stuff to applicants is going to be a pain in the ass to their actual employees. It's all just a numbers game, just gotta keep at it.

The work I do now isn't the most exciting, but my last career was in Broadcast Television and that field is pretty crazy. Reckon it makes sense I'd be bored with the corporate world since I used to go visit crime scenes and car wrecks. I don't regret leaving for a better opportunity, but the 'wild times' that happened with Kathy in Accounts Receivable don't compare to the 'wild times' that happened with some of the reporters I worked with.
 
Got passed over for another job today, probably for the best in the long run. I had to take one of those 'Personality Assessments' and write a three-page, academic style essay on the prompt of their choosing. Pretty sure an outfit that does that kind of stuff to applicants is going to be a pain in the ass to their actual employees. It's all just a numbers game, just gotta keep at it.

The work I do now isn't the most exciting, but my last career was in Broadcast Television and that field is pretty crazy. Reckon it makes sense I'd be bored with the corporate world since I used to go visit crime scenes and car wrecks. I don't regret leaving for a better opportunity, but the 'wild times' that happened with Kathy in Accounts Receivable don't compare to the 'wild times' that happened with some of the reporters I worked with.
I know how you feel man I've been looking for a second job because even with tips my current one pays like shit. And it wouldn't actually be a problem if they didn't deduct from my hours based on what I make in tips.
 
I know how you feel man I've been looking for a second job because even with tips my current one pays like shit. And it wouldn't actually be a problem if they didn't deduct from my hours based on what I make in tips.

It's been a long while since I worked in the service industry, but it's pretty fucked how little restaurants pay their servers. They're the 'face' of the business and customers won't want to come back to a place if they've had a bad experience. Really, it's fucked how poorly people in the service industry get treated, especially since we've seen how bad some places can get when they can't find employees or are short staffed.
 
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