Follow through. Forget that spiteful wench and do it anyway. Don't let her have the power. It's your time. I'm going to have to deal with a similar situation eventually, and if I can do it then you can too.
Maybe consider going on one of those 'monster-in-law' reddit subs... not to post, but to maybe get a feel of what you're getting in for. I don't envy you.
The big key to getting through this will be your fiancé's ability to draw firm boundaries between her and the bond you two have together. I hope he's able to do that with love and compassion, and I hope this is something you guys can talk about openly with one another. The two of you can totally make it through something like this, I promise, as long as you're able to stick together.
I have some experience with this issue.
Make the decision based on yourself and your partner. Do not let someone's shitty mother decide your life.
It's called grey-rocking and it's a very effective technique for dealing with narcs and nit-pickers. Sure, they still manage to argue with the nothing that you give them, but it's not very satisfying and they run out of steam fast.
My deepest condolences, Ive faced deaths in the family twice in the last two years and I know how you feel.
I always wondered how it would feel like when my mom would die.
I have an uneasy relationship with my mother too. I'm not gonna abuse your loss to start venting about it, but I want to tell you I understand how you feel, my lad. Whatever I feel now, I know I'll feel that way when she goes.
My ma and i..welll im not gonna pretend the past was perfect cause it was far from it, but she's still my ma. She brought me into this world gave and gave and asked for nothing in return so.....I only hope that no matter what i just wanna make her glad she raised me as her son.
