How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Dollar Store Sentai said:
Things changed a bit from from June. My daughter had open heart surgery today. Replaced a valve, was going to remove her stint but it had grown into the walls of the artery, so they widened it instead. So now recovery begins. She was still out and intubated when we went up to see her, so going back up tomorrow to see how she is feeling.

So now I get to sleep.
Click to expand...
good luck dude i hope everything goes well for your family. i came here to vent and seeing stuff like this puts things into perspective. i'm not sure if we're supposed to reply to people on here but i sincerely wish you the best of luck, and i hope she recovers completely.

just came here to say that honestly this site makes me feel a little better about the dreary grind of life right now. i feel like i'm surrounded by people who never actually want to talk about complex issues, or, perhaps there's an issue on my part with communication, and i feel super alienated lately. but coming here helps me in some strange way, and seeing all of the recent love and "spirit" of this place has been super inspiring, especially when it comes to King Null. i luv u KF
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Mesh Gear Fox, Cheesegirl78, JosephStalin and 2 others
lmao gottem said:
just came here to say that honestly this site makes me feel a little better about the dreary grind of life right now. i feel like i'm surrounded by people who never actually want to talk about complex issues, or, perhaps there's an issue on my part with communication, and i feel super alienated lately. but coming here helps me in some strange way, and seeing all of the recent love and "spirit" of this place has been super inspiring, especially when it comes to King Null. i luv u KF
Click to expand...
I've found once you strip away the fear of needing to put on a persona or tone police yourself for the internet, you find that the people here are kind of awesome. There are edgy assholes that need to scream nigger from the rooftops, but that just keeps the riff raff away.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: KiwiFuzz, Mesh Gear Fox, Cheesegirl78 and 3 others
Making some progress here. Had endoscopy/colonoscopy today. Went pretty well. No colon cancer. No ulcers. Found some polyps, as usual, removed some, will hear about biopsies later. Wife took me out to lunch afterward.

Got new glasses Tuesday, get a new pair every year. Also had blood work done, mostly good, a couple not so great, one weird but not a threat.

Fatigue not so often, maybe once every couple of weeks, happens regardless of how much or how little I walked that morning. Still pace myself, spread out tasks so as to not get too tired.

As time goes by the medical stuff increases but have good doctors, all adults. With my particular insurance combination cost isn't a factor, mercifully. Lets me concentrate on taking care of myself.

Yesterday talked with a lady who has developed sciatica, much like I did last year, with the herniated disk and all. Told her what I went through, advised her to ask certain questions of the spinal surgeon, loaned her my walker, reassured her the prognosis should be good, even though she is going through hell right now. Once you go through stuff like open-heart and spinal fusion you want to help others, maybe save them some pain/hassle/aggravation. Just giving back. 👍

Expecting daughter-in-law and granddaughter here next week, until early November.
 
Last edited:
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Monkey Shoulder, Literal Shitbag, Orange Tabby and 8 others
I'm feeling good, like I'm getting bigger and stronger. Probably mostly placebo, but maybe a bit "puffy" too.

Anyway, I'm on isotretinoin too. I went from 3 pills, to 1 day a day a week ago. So it may be that I got my strength back from that. You will get a red flush to the face skin because of the medicine, in high does. I'm my normal color now. It takes about a week for it to flush out of your system too.
Because you shouldn't work out hard when on it, because it dries up your body inside and fucks with your performance.
But since I'm absolute madlad and don't really get any of those side effects. I still worked out as usual. Which is the reason for why I went down in weight, so... Opsie!
Since the acne is under control now, there's really no reason to take anything more than maintenance dose.

So I guess the extra nutrition is going straight to my muscles.
It feels easier to eat more now too. I'm not necessarily hungry, but it feels like there's a deep void in my stomach I need to fill.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Yamamura and JosephStalin
I don't know if it's just me, but the combination of time of year and economic situation has had a very depressant effect on everything. It's sort of been that way basically since 2020, but it's been continually worsening, especially around winter.

Personally even in terms of playing instruments I've been limiting myself, because especially with roundwound acoustic guitar strings (violin is a little more forgiving, those strings last a long god damned time if you clean them regularly since they're flatwound and there are no frets involved) it grinds dirt into the strings and causes fret wear which dulls them, so I've only been playing when I really want to or have someone else to play for because I don't want to have to buy more strings. Even now they're dull and should be changed.

It isn't even necessarily that money is so tight that buying stuff like food to cook or packs of guitar strings or w/e are going to lead to bankruptcy, it's just that the current socioeconomic climate has made me incredibly averse to excess, especially because it feels selfish when there are a lot of people struggling. To begin with there's so much waste in the world that the concept of buying anything seems wrong.

Worse, that means I've wound up on Kiwi Farms much more often, but posting shit online all the time isn't great: that isn't an appropriate outlet for excess energy, and medical science has proven that if you spend too much time on internet forums, you'll turn retarded. I don't want to turn retarded :(

lmao gottem said:
just came here to say that honestly this site makes me feel a little better about the dreary grind of life right now. i feel like i'm surrounded by people who never actually want to talk about complex issues, or, perhaps there's an issue on my part with communication, and i feel super alienated lately. but coming here helps me in some strange way, and seeing all of the recent love and "spirit" of this place has been super inspiring, especially when it comes to King Null. i luv u KF
Click to expand...
Eh, that's just how people are these days. I think everyone is so bombarded with so much information and are constantly being talked at so often that they're worn out on it, they just want to know a person is there with them regardless of pretense. The saying "actions speak louder than words" has never been more true than it is today.

A little gay, but ya know, life's pretty gay sometimes.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: JosephStalin, Dona Morte, Mesh Gear Fox and 2 others
At this time last week, I felt pretty down. Because my "friend" did send me pics on snapchat of him out on the town with friends. Haven't bothered contacting him all week because I felt that I was the one initiating all contact, and of course. I haven't heard anything from the fucker, and I feel much better that I'm not reminded of that I do not have a social life.

Fuck, I'm doubting the "studies" that lonely people die faster. It must be because of comparing yourself to others and feeling unfulfilled. Because if you basically isolate yourself, you will not feel the bad parts of loneliness.
And sure, I'm betting a big part in those studies. Is that the health concerns is because of inactivity. Like, god. They couldn't be any less nuanced if they tried to.

I'm happy that my gym have gotten new owners and more flexible opening hours. I have the whole gym for myself, for almost 3 hours on the weekends.
 
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: JosephStalin, Boopims and Yamamura
After almost 30 years and a unique opportunity I decided to try LSD again in a very mislead attempt to recapture some of my youth. So I prepared set and setting and took the dose. Turns out my memories were too rose-tinted, I wasn't really prepared and not only had 30 year younger me different tolerances, the stuff I got *legally* from a proper lab (yes) now was probably also a lot more accurately weighted and pure, something that somehow didn't cross my mind even for a moment before. Instead of jamming with old stuff in a somewhat psychadelic state and get some interesting insights like I planned and did so often when I was younger, I took a one-way ticket into orbit with no recourse. The first two hours were enjoyable, then I realized something was wrong when I just kept coming up and up with basically no end in sight, which of course led to me freaking out and trying to "fight it" which if you don't know, is absolutely the worst thing to do. (Lucy will take you places when you get on the ride, and she doesn't care if you want to see them or not) Thankfully I managed to remember some past difficult trips, calmed myself down somewhat (yes, I was alone.) and managed to hold it together for the coming ~12 hours without making a spectacle of myself. Suffice to say, it was not pleasant and I was basically sick and sleeping for three days before I felt normal again.

Funny thing is at the highest point I typed an absolutely insane love letter to life (pretty convinced at this point my mind will just disappear forever and I successfully managed to go insane) which for some reason is perfectly formatted and doesn't contain a single typo. Funny because I vaguely remember that moment and being completely unable to even look straight, let alone really see the screen or what's on it.

Well, ultimately LSD is not really a toxic drug (physically less dangerous than even alcohol I'd say) and I'm fine now.

...It was an experience. Don't do drugs kids.
 
  • Feels
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
Reactions: Monkey Shoulder, KiwiFuzz, JosephStalin and 2 others
Think about that family thing sometimes.
The family member calling me again, but I have not picked up.
Like what do you say?
I gave a pretty strong ultimatum and wonder if this person is ready or not. Sometimes I think I will be disappointed again.

It's just all too exhausting.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: soft breathing, JosephStalin and Yamamura
So far, I've spent the past couple months just isolating myself and drinking. My rhythm in life so far is more or less rre-established and I suspect that it will be fully revitalized by mid-November once I've gotten my transportation back together. I had figured I would have also had something casual in terms of breaking my dry spell as well by now too but I find myself putting it off more than I thought I would. I guess I'm just taking it easy after what's happened for the past couple years but I still have a to do list. Either way, it won't help me to make up excuses not to have a life again, even if it's a shit show compared to 2019.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Yamamura
Yesterday, I meet the puppy that I am going to get soon.
I was nervous with how he was going to react when he saw me, but it turn out well.
He just lay on my stomach and chilled. He felt very safe being with me
He will not replace my old dog that died a few months ago, but he will make the house less empty.
 
  • Feels
  • Winner
Reactions: Anne Hyroe, KiwiFuzz, Mesh Gear Fox and 5 others
Meat Target said:
Don't think of your puppy as a replacement for your departed old fren. He would want you to pass on the love you gave him.
Click to expand...
waf.png
This is the way.
You two were ment to find each other.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Neurotypical Mantis, Vingle and Mesh Gear Fox
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back