How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

With the site being back up and fairly stable, I'm actually feeling a bit better. While it was done it took away a coping mechanism that helped me deal with stress from life by browsing and reading about various things or just looking at memes or people's funny avatar pictures/animations.

With it back up I'm able to just get away from my life and laugh at things for a little while every day moreso.

Thank you Null
 
Annoyed as hell, the postal system is getting even worse. Before all the tracking apps and shit they always sent packages to the places closest to where you live, now it's jank as fuck and my tobacco products got sent to a place I've never been to 40 minutes away, one time a package got sent to a place I never even heard of. Why? All the other times it's gone to the right place but from time to time they like to make it exciting!
Since we no longer have post offices this place have wacky open times and I can't get to it, so I had to pay postage yet again to transfer it to where it should have gone in the first place. I'm not sure these retards will be able to pull this off in time before they return it to sender and I'm losing money in the process because I have to buy my tobacco products at the store. It's not that I'm cheap. No, I'm against the constant tax hikes, they raised the price €0.05 some years ago and at that point I had enough, out of principle, so now I make my own. It also seems like I'm softly getting pushed towards a promotion at work, and I know it's been discussed internally for a while. Don't know how I feel about that, it would mean the roots growing deeper and it would be harder to leave.
 
I'm doing better.

Had a helluva night last week. Was sitting here tapping on the laptop when I get a nosebleed. No big deal, they happen, especially when it's so cold and dry this time of year. I do the usual pinch it off and hold it, but it's not stopping. It's also coming from both nostrils and it's pouring in a steady stream.

Next thing I know, my vision is blurring. I look in the bathroom mirror and there's blood coming out of my tear ducts as well. So I'm walking back to the living room when suddenly my legs are feeling like rubber. I'm steadying myself against the wall with one arm, I let go of my nose to wipe my eyes, and the blood literally gushes out and I start coughing up thumb sized clots.

I'm a semi-old fart, but fit and my BP is good and I'm not on any blood thinners. At this point things are getting hazy so I call 911. Long story short, I had an artery burst way up in my nose behind the bony part. They called it a posterior nosebleed. I lost around 20% of my blood volume in a very short time period. ER Doc went up there and cauterized it, stopping the blood flow, and they hooked me up to an IV to get my blood pressure back up. The blood in my eyes was from blood going the wrong way up the ducts that go from your eyes to your nose.

I was a mess. Front of my shirt totally saturated, both hands totally coated in blood nearly up to my elbows, and the living room carpet looked like a crime scene. Been in my share of accidents and mishaps, but I've never bled that much, ever.

Was discharged the next day and I went and bought a new humidifier, and they gave me some hydrating gel stuff to put up there twice a day and a nasal spray to use if it happens again. Blood work came back normal and it wasn't due to trauma, so we've no idea what caused it. Tasted blood in the back of my throat for days. Doc said had I not decided to call for help when I did, I would have passed out and probably bled to death.

Very glad to be alive.
 
I MIGHT be moving into my new apartment this weekend. The landlord and the super have a signing date for the 1st. My ma god bless her soul will be footing the security and co signing since...Idk if i even have credit let alone a good score. (never used a credit card in my life) I say might because well...several things seem a little off, from the lease being for a year despite the super saying it was month to month when we met. among other things, but really i cant stay where i am now gotta move on soon hopefully before christmas.

Conversly I Haven't heard from the old man in like a month. He said he was gonna fix some place up for me cheap but....I love and respect both my folks but the old man really should have learned to keep his word, like most dads would. Still I hope he's ok, wherever he is even if his "promise" turns out to be just as hallow as the one he made about us living in the Bahamas when I turned 19. (obviously never happened)


Just wish I could repay my ma for all she's done for me in last month. She gives and gives and I don't even ask. Honor thy mother and thy father my fellow kiwis ,honor them well.
 
I've got to pull some serious bullshit off to keep my family deal with my house and generally get my shit together. I relapsed back into a bum for the past month and a half and I'm realizing that being dependent on uber and the bus is worse for your stress than being a NEET.
Regardless, I have a very modest and trashy lower middle class inheritance to prove myself worthy of and besides the threat to my standing, being broke and angsting over things is really boring. I really hope next year is better.
 
I'm just fucking pissed. More lockdowns look probable, some of my friends got carted off to the quarantine camps over the weekend for being at the wrong sports bar at the wrong time, it's raining, my grocery deliveries are late, and I just chimped out on a wechat group over someone calling me retarded for saying the vaccine doesn't protect you from infection, quarantine, or lockdown. Hopefully the police don't pay me a visit. I almost always hold my tongue online, except for tonight I guess.

Just fucking angry and tired of living here, and it's months before I can leave.
 
Doing good, I got this creative spark that reignited my creative passion and energy for the first time in eight years, using it to make a game right now. Only problem:
I sick dick at making player character art.
So right now my placeholder image is just a rectangle with a sad face I made in paint, while all my other art is just shit I made in Clip Studio Paint with much higher quality.
 
I effort-shitpost graduate level theses about how my experience spending nearly two decades fighting cults gives me insight into mind control that's increasingly commonplace for most people's daily experiences. I also effort-shitpost how a cult is fucking up far too many young people for life while shitting up social interactions on the internet and national politics to boot, and how the oldest gift of the internet, anonymity and sock puppetry and secrecy, is the key to fixing it.

Feels like The Matrix, except gay, and the autists aren't actually robots.

I increasingly want to go drive a truck or ranch goats or anything at all to be off computers as much as I fucking can.
 
So, me and my husband were having a nice date night eating at a restraunt last night and all of a sudden 2 male rednecks come into here, It's been a joke ever since we started dating that they're just gay. Me and my husband were there just looking at them every now and then. All of a sudden, we saw one of them put his arms behind the other's back and gave the other an obviously romantic kiss on the cheek when he thought nobody was looking. We looked back at eachother and just stared. We didn't actually beileve that they were gay it was just a joke, what the fuck? We learned later that they were both the earliest same-sex married couple in our county but just kept their last names.

Other than that, good date, it just suprised me.
 
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So, me and my husband were having a nice date night last night and all of a sudden 2 male rednecks come into here, It's been a joke ever since we started dating that they're just gay. Me and my husband were there just looking at them every now and then. All of a sudden, we saw one of them put his arms behind the other's back and gave the other an obviously romantic kiss on the cheek when he thought nobody was looking. We looked back at eachother and just stared. We didn't actually beileve that they were gay it was just a joke, what the fuck? We learned later that they were both the earliest married couple in out county but just kept their last names.

Other than that, good date, it just suprised me.
Biggest surprise is that they're not one of those poly fags, that are only together for the day they can't find anybody on Grindr.
 
J
So, me and my husband were having a nice date night eating at a restraunt last night and all of a sudden 2 male rednecks come into here, It's been a joke ever since we started dating that they're just gay. Me and my husband were there just looking at them every now and then. All of a sudden, we saw one of them put his arms behind the other's back and gave the other an obviously romantic kiss on the cheek when he thought nobody was looking. We looked back at eachother and just stared. We didn't actually beileve that they were gay it was just a joke, what the fuck? We learned later that they were both the earliest same-sex married couple in our county but just kept their last names.

Other than that, good date, it just suprised me.
Hey good to see you again panzermenensch. nice to see you found another and possibly one of the first gay couples in your area. I've...already spoken enough how im doing in here for now.
 
Felt bad that other people had to step in and pay off my deposit, rent from now on is my responsibility but it just feels...wrong to have someone else cover that first. I really wish I could make it up to the people doing this for me (family) but....well nothing left to do now except sign the agreement ha d over the cash and start saving for January and start moving in...A new year is almost here, a new start and hopefully this time..it's for the last time.
 
Pretty shit, to be honest. I already struggle with being at work (no power level summary: Mental health shit.), but now, my work has decided, in their infinite wisdom, to fold two shifts into one, which has turned a pretty kick-ass job into a daily roulette to see if I'm just going to walk out.

My shift was regularly cited as the work horse of the company (manufacturing). We put up insane numbers, all quality work, so much so that for about three months, my shift had dick all to do, and were paid for about eight hours a day (out of a 10 hour shift) to sit on our asses, staring at our phones. Which was kind of shit, to be honest, but I digress.

For some reason, the shift they brought in is all the diversity hires. A fucking sped that can't figure out to stop touching people and asking where they live, two niggers that are constantly snorting, and regularly scream across the fucking floor, and bonus, think they're fucking hilarious, a niggerette who thinks she's hot shit and talks to everyone on our shift like they're fucking children, another old nigger who thinks he owns the fucking place, and one fairly normal fat bitch, who seems to be a coal miner for all the fucking screaming she does along with them. And bonus, not a fucking one of them smells like they've even heard of soap.

To a one, they're all slow and fucking lazy, either doing everything they can to avoid work, hiding in bathrooms, wandering the fuck off, or just sitting there talking with the manager they brought from their shift. So, obviously, our numbers have fucking plummeted, to the point that our shift has been told off *twice* in the two months they've been there to stop fucking off to inflate their hour count, and our christmas shutdown is on the verge of being outright canceled if people don't start pulling OT.

And bonus, since upper management is fucking retarded, we now have double the quotas to hit, because, 'well, two shifts do twice the work right?' And they don't for a fucking second wonder why their top team has suddenly fallen to shit, while the diversity hires get away with fucking murder.

My entire fucking team has bailed, and I'm constantly eyeballing our competitors myself, but don't want to pull the trigger, cus 'better the devil you know.', but every day, the sweet allure of a noose gets more tempting.
 
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