Well, without getting into much detail, I've found out that the person I trusted deliberately ignored me in a time of need. I was supportive every time when they needed my help, so I had to tell them to fuck off for good. Here goes another friendship.
Also, I've got insomnia out of nowhere, so the last week or so wasn't very pleasant, but thankfully I am getting better. At least, I hope I am.
Take care, people.
Finally fully recovered from an ungodly two-day session, which started innocently enough at a Christmas market on Monday afternoon. I'm getting too old for that shit, entirely too much drink and drugs for my body and brain. It's been years since i felt this ragged after a sesh. Still probably the most fun i had all year, i love the time around Christmas, can't wait to see family on the holidays.
Feeling pretty good. After my parents died a few months back, I inherited both their houses along with my sister. The first house sold a few days ago, and I'm due a significant amount of money in a week or two.
This will be basically the first time in my life I've ever had a nest egg, or any substantial amount of savings/emergency fund. For all the other shit inherited from my abusive upbringing, I know I'll never struggle with money ever again.
On the other hand, I fucking hate this country. I shudder what it'll look like in 3, 5, 10 years from now, and wondering whether I need to exit permanently to somewhere less woke and retarded. It's all humorous bitching and moaning, until the government mandates reparations for niggers to be paid by the taxpayer, or we're obliged under penalty to house the latest gimme-grant or go to prison. Of course, this is Bongland.
Finally finished two weeks non-stop working overtime. I won't know how much I've made from it till tommorow though but hopefully it'll be a nice big juicy little Christmas bonus.
Funny I originally took the overtime to make sure I could have money to get my last minute Christmas shopping done. But after what happened two days ago? I wonder of the family will even want to speak to me let alone see me for Christmas.
Whatever happens I just hope it'll be worth all that hard word. But at least it'll he nice to finally sleep in again.
It's been rough. Caught the cold going around the UK and was in bed for about three days and the entire family was comatose for about a week. Mom's mercifully recovering from Belle's Palsy but it looks like we're having a somewhat limited Christmas this year thanks to just how sick we've all been.
I get up in my feelings every year at around this time. I have a bunch of young children so travel is incredibly stressful and prohibitively expensive and my family doesn't have a lot of money and few vacation days so it's not super easy for them to visit either, so I haven't seen anyone from my side of the family in almost 5 years now and it weighs terribly on me. Some people I love have died and some more likely will before I have a chance to visit, and it's upsetting.
I really do have everything I have ever prayed for other than that, so it feels ungrateful, but the heart yearns. I autistically always allow myself to be a sad sack for 15 minutes at a time, set a timer, and then force myself to move on from it or else it can detract me from other things I need to be doing, and this time around it'll be with yall.
Couldn't find any excuses to not spend Christmas with my parents, so that's what I'm doing.
Will probably need to get together with some old buddies during the holidays, which traditionally has meant a fuckton of booze and drugs. 7 months of total sobriety will have to be good enough.
Doing good for change. I have my brother/his gf and their dog over. Christmas is here, going to enjoy hanging out with my family, eating/drinking/doing hash and exchanging gifts. Merry Christmas Kiwi's and have a Happy New Year!
About a year and a half ago I made a post here about "losing the most important thing". I didn't say it clearly anywhere in the post, but it was about me and my wife of 10 years (15 years of relationship) breaking up. I didn't mean to vaguepost, but I wanted to express the feelings I had without laying out the details unnecessarily.
Anyway, other than in the first couple months, I've never had hopes or even intentions of getting back together, miserable as it may make me. There was no big fight, no abuse, no infidelity on either side (at least that I know of; I've made the decision of taking what she says at face value because, if she's lying, all I'd gain from the truth or even from the doubt is more pain), so there's no clear thing to fix. In fact one of the most painful things about this is not having a clear reason why this happened.
Since the break up, she's made a new social circle, and I know at this point she has someone. She's vaguely admitted it, but I know she's keeping it secret from our daughter. And regarding our daughter, thankfully this isn't one of those stories where the father is kept from the kids. I found an apartment literally 2 blocks from the house, and in all honesty the kid spends more time here than at the house, both for practical reasons and because she seems to prefer it that way, which not gonna lie, puzzles me a bit. It's great though, I'm happy on that front. It limits what I can do on the day to day, but it's still good to have her.
Anyway, all of that is preamble.
I'm disappointed because today she chose her new friends or whomever, over us.
I expected her to at the very least keep Christmas night locked, not for us, but for the kid. To the kid, it's still an important day, to exchange gifts at midnight (that's the local tradition). Do whatever you want on New Year's, but Christmas night is for the kid.
Instead, the kid and I will have to make do with just hanging out with her in the afternoon, exchange gifts then, and then she'll go out who knows where, and the kid and I will spend Christmas midnight alone at my place. I guess I'll hold onto my gifts for the kid to give them to her at midnight.
Like I said, I'm disappointed in my ex-wife, and the person she's becoming.
Alright enough of this. It's not gonna be a miserable night, I could be all alone, but it still makes a part of me sad.
I hope you all have a good Christmas or whatever you celebrate.
Jesus fucking christ, we just had a break in. Everybody's alright, we managed to pin the fucker and we're waiting for the police to come. I am literally shaking right now. I don't know how the fat bearded old fucker made it down the chimney in the first place.
saw the old man today for Christmas, he's doing alright. we sat and talked for a bit and mostly got caught up on everything. When i mentioned I'm staying in my new apartment and how things at work are going he said the one thing I needed too hear..."I'm happy for you."..well OK I kinda wish it was proud of you but i think he's saving that for when/if i have a wedding to invite him too. but ill take my familial acceptance where i get it.
Gonna see ma and at least one of my brother's tommorow for lunch/dinner at some steakhouse so the christmas season's not a total loss.
It's been a bastard of a year, following what were even more bastards of years. I still don't believe that things will get better, but there's a non-zero chance that they will, and I guess that's all one can ask for.
I'm grateful the farms are still up and all that Null has done to make it so. Merry Christmas retards, I love you all.
Very much appreciated, the reluctance mainly comes from bad past experiences with therapists. There are good docs out there, it’s just finding them is half the battle.
About a year and a half ago I made a post here about "losing the most important thing". I didn't say it clearly anywhere in the post, but it was about me and my wife of 10 years (15 years of relationship) breaking up. I didn't mean to vaguepost, but I wanted to express the feelings I had without laying out the details unnecessarily.
Anyway, other than in the first couple months, I've never had hopes or even intentions of getting back together, miserable as it may make me. There was no big fight, no abuse, no infidelity on either side (at least that I know of; I've made the decision of taking what she says at face value because, if she's lying, all I'd gain from the truth or even from the doubt is more pain), so there's no clear thing to fix. In fact one of the most painful things about this is not having a clear reason why this happened.
Since the break up, she's made a new social circle, and I know at this point she has someone. She's vaguely admitted it, but I know she's keeping it secret from our daughter. And regarding our daughter, thankfully this isn't one of those stories where the father is kept from the kids. I found an apartment literally 2 blocks from the house, and in all honesty the kid spends more time here than at the house, both for practical reasons and because she seems to prefer it that way, which not gonna lie, puzzles me a bit. It's great though, I'm happy on that front. It limits what I can do on the day to day, but it's still good to have her.
Anyway, all of that is preamble.
I'm disappointed because today she chose her new friends or whomever, over us.
I expected her to at the very least keep Christmas night locked, not for us, but for the kid. To the kid, it's still an important day, to exchange gifts at midnight (that's the local tradition). Do whatever you want on New Year's, but Christmas night is for the kid.
Instead, the kid and I will have to make do with just hanging out with her in the afternoon, exchange gifts then, and then she'll go out who knows where, and the kid and I will spend Christmas midnight alone at my place. I guess I'll hold onto my gifts for the kid to give them to her at midnight.
Like I said, I'm disappointed in my ex-wife, and the person she's becoming.
Alright enough of this. It's not gonna be a miserable night, I could be all alone, but it still makes a part of me sad.
I hope you all have a good Christmas or whatever you celebrate.
Your Child shall only be this young and now. Do the best you can, be there for her. I'd almost envy you were it not for the divorce. I'm sure if you do well, she will look fondly upon these moments. Merry Christmas!
Couldn't find any excuses to not spend Christmas with my parents, so that's what I'm doing.
Will probably need to get together with some old buddies during the holidays, which traditionally has meant a fuckton of booze and drugs. 7 months of total sobriety will have to be good enough.
saw the old man today for Christmas, he's doing alright. we sat and talked for a bit and mostly got caught up on everything. When i mentioned I'm staying in my new apartment and how things at work are going he said the one thing I needed too hear..."I'm happy for you."..well OK I kinda wish it was proud of you but i think he's saving that for when/if i have a wedding to invite him too. but ill take my familial acceptance where i get it.
Gonna see ma and at least one of my brother's tommorow for lunch/dinner at some steakhouse so the christmas season's not a total loss.
It's hard to compare life experiences between you two, but were my parent's alive, I'd do what I could to make our moments even more memorable before their passing. Do what you can and Merry Christmas!
It's been a bastard of a year, following what were even more bastards of years. I still don't believe that things will get better, but there's a non-zero chance that they will, and I guess that's all one can ask for.
I'm grateful the farms are still up and all that Null has done to make it so. Merry Christmas retards, I love you all.
I live while my folks have long since passed. I find it easy to swan dive into rough and tumble situations. Live your life well, doing the best you can. I share in your...pessimism... or perhaps realism. Although, I am still somewhat a young man doing what he can to make and support a family someday. Perhaps you should look into what you want to see in the future, and then try to make it. Merry Christmas to you!
@Orange Tabby PM me if you want some Internet Therapy. Be Warned my personality is like God of War 4 Kratos. But I like to "help and listen" where I can. Aside from that Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas Kiwi's and have a Happy New Year!
