How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

I had two seizures (big ones) earlier this week, and I'm still feeling auras. (That triggery feeling you get before you get a seizure). Normally I'd feel better by now, but I'm guessing since they were both bad ones, it's taking a while. Plus my mouth is all bit up. I'll make myself some tea before bed -- I'm going to my cousin's baby shower tomorrow. This is utterly insane.
 
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I will talk about myself.

I am a pot head. 30 year old Indian man. I am successful, have a loving wife, a kid and happy & proud parents.

They do not know I smoke weed everyday.

When I am high I do the following things:
  • Listen to Indie and Psychedelic rock music.
  • I play guitar
  • I eat mangoes or any fruit available.
  • I meditate
  • Listen to 528 hz Om (‘Meditative mind’ youtube channel)
  • Watch a movie
  • Sex multiple times. Sex feels heavenly. It blows away my wife’s mind. I get rock hard erection like am 17 year old. I ejaculate after 15 minutes of continuous banging without stopping. She gets at least two orgasms in a row. So even if I tell her the secret she wont stop me. However, I last long even when I am sober. I trick my brain. Good sex is an art.
  • Video Chat with my mother.
  • Play with my kid.
  • Go to office
  • Long drives
  • Give Presentations in my office
  • Look people in the eye. Especially women. There is a SURGE of confidence to be able to lift my chin up and look directly into the eyes. Kind of a dominant behavior which actually made me successful with women other than my wife too.
I am not high right now but I was in the morning before leaving the office.

I am continuig this for last two years. How is my health?

My BMI is 23.

Body’s age is 27. Just a little more cough these days but that’s okay.

I do not drink alcohol. No no veg. No eggs. No milk products. I have become a vegan. Marijuana opened my eyes. This secret no one will tell you. Marijuana is a sacred plant. It has changed my life and people around me. I can face 1000 people and talk to them fearless. Humans don’t scare me anymore. I will never stop smoking and consuming marijuana tea ever.

I don’t have any reason to stop. I give a rat ass to people’s opinion. They know shit about it. They know only what the govt has told them, hence their opinion does not matters. Especially when they have not even tried.
 
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Checkpoint:

I am still alive. The fear of death is always on the horizon for me, but I'm still alive. I may not have a lot of money or fame, I have a heartbeat, though. I can breathe in the air that flows around me. Life's hard, but I need to remember that I'm still here. I'm online on Kiwi fucking Farms and that's amazing. Things will probably get better soon, then I'll be truly happy.

To say I'm not happy now would be a lie. I can be seconds away from death and still have a smile on my face - I ain't dead yet, faggot.

"Is that the best you can do? You're gonna have to kill meeee!"
 
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I'm moving on Saturday from the boonies to a big metro area, if on its outskirts.

It's a nice feeling having a job skilled and well-paying enough to be able to move and get out of my rural area thanks to it. I'm eager to be in a place with more people and establish a fresh life with new and good friends - thankfully, I already have a couple buddies and acquaintances in the area to link up with for a ready-made starter social life as well. I'll even PL a bit and admit I'm particularly fond one of those and hope to explore life in particular with them in the near future.

Never had the "new year new me" meme become reality, but here I am.
 
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Epic Fail Man said:
I will talk about myself.

I am a pot head. 30 year old Indian man. I am successful, have a loving wife, a kid and happy & proud parents.

They do not know I smoke weed everyday.

When I am high I do the following things:
  • Listen to Indie and Psychedelic rock music.
  • I play guitar
  • I eat mangoes or any fruit available.
  • I meditate
  • Listen to 528 hz Om (‘Meditative mind’ youtube channel)
  • Watch a movie
  • Sex multiple times. Sex feels heavenly. It blows away my wife’s mind. I get rock hard erection like am 17 year old. I ejaculate after 15 minutes of continuous banging without stopping. She gets at least two orgasms in a row. So even if I tell her the secret she wont stop me. However, I last long even when I am sober. I trick my brain. Good sex is an art.
  • Video Chat with my mother.
  • Play with my kid.
  • Go to office
  • Long drives
  • Give Presentations in my office
  • Look people in the eye. Especially women. There is a SURGE of confidence to be able to lift my chin up and look directly into the eyes. Kind of a dominant behavior which actually made me successful with women other than my wife too.
I am not high right now but I was in the morning before leaving the office.

I am continuig this for last two years. How is my health?

My BMI is 23.

Body’s age is 27. Just a little more cough these days but that’s okay.

I do not drink alcohol. No no veg. No eggs. No milk products. I have become a vegan. Marijuana opened my eyes. This secret no one will tell you. Marijuana is a sacred plant. It has changed my life and people around me. I can face 1000 people and talk to them fearless. Humans don’t scare me anymore. I will never stop smoking and consuming marijuana tea ever.

I don’t have any reason to stop. I give a rat ass to people’s opinion. They know shit about it. They know only what the govt has told them, hence their opinion does not matters. Especially when they have not even tried.
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One of the funniest things I have read here in a while, thank you for that.

Overall doing way better than I thought.
 
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So as some of you may know from my occasional "lol christcucks" posts, I'm a hardline atheist.
But having been raised religious, there's learned responses to stress, you know? Like during bad times, you feel the need to ask God for help. Being an atheist, I understand that's just a self-soothing behavior, and I even allow it to myself at times, knowing that there's nothing up there and it won't help beyond calming my nerves.

Recently things have been bad, particularly in terms of work. An important work "door" closed in a quite definitive manner a couple weeks ago, leaving me in an extremely precarious position.
So I did the thing, come on God help me out here

And today, that definitely closed door -condemned door even, sealed in from the outside like a chinese covid victim in his house- just swung open in a big way. It may be just a one time thing, or it may stay open, I don't know. But it is very welcome.

But does this mean I have to re-convert?
 
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Nick Obre said:
So as some of you may know from my occasional "lol christcucks" posts, I'm a hardline atheist.
But having been raised religious, there's learned responses to stress, you know? Like during bad times, you feel the need to ask God for help. Being an atheist, I understand that's just a self-soothing behavior, and I even allow it to myself at times, knowing that there's nothing up there and it won't help beyond calming my nerves.

Recently things have been bad, particularly in terms of work. An important work "door" closed in a quite definitive manner a couple weeks ago, leaving me in an extremely precarious position.
So I did the thing, come on God help me out here

And today, that definitely closed door -condemned door even, sealed in from the outside like a chinese covid victim in his house- just swung open in a big way. It may be just a one time thing, or it may stay open, I don't know. But it is very welcome.

But does this mean I have to re-convert?
Click to expand...
As a fellow fedora tipping atheist intellectual I'd say that part of growing up is to learn to accept that people have different perspectives on reality and one isn't really more valid than the other.
 
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I am a funny mix of fighting that growing feeling that we're watching the beginning of the actual fall of human civilization mixed with a whole lot of relief that I fucked off out of a shitty urban area into a very small farming town with a militia just as the rona started.

I'm pretty happy other than that nagging blackpill and determined to make the most of it though.
 
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Nick Obre said:
So as some of you may know from my occasional "lol christcucks" posts, I'm a hardline atheist.
But having been raised religious, there's learned responses to stress, you know? Like during bad times, you feel the need to ask God for help. Being an atheist, I understand that's just a self-soothing behavior, and I even allow it to myself at times, knowing that there's nothing up there and it won't help beyond calming my nerves.

Recently things have been bad, particularly in terms of work. An important work "door" closed in a quite definitive manner a couple weeks ago, leaving me in an extremely precarious position.
So I did the thing, come on God help me out here

And today, that definitely closed door -condemned door even, sealed in from the outside like a chinese covid victim in his house- just swung open in a big way. It may be just a one time thing, or it may stay open, I don't know. But it is very welcome.

But does this mean I have to re-convert?
Click to expand...
I dont mean to derail a vent type thread but your post resonated with me. About 6 months ago I discovered secular buddhism and buddhist psychology. Kinda like science proving certain benefits of mindfulness meditation but no real religious commitment. It seemed to sorta click with me on a vaguely spiritual yet godless level. Feel free to ignore the advice but perhaps searching up on that would be helpful? Good luck.


And I am doing very well these days. Probably the happiest I have been in a long time, but that in itself feels so wrong I have to deal with the anxiety surrounding that. Ironic. But I am so optimistic about this upcoming year overall. Strange feeling, ha.
 
Epic Fail Man said:
As a fellow fedora tipping atheist intellectual I'd say that part of growing up is to learn to accept that people have different perspectives on reality and one isn't really more valid than the other.
Click to expand...
What I'm about to say isn't about religion in particular, but there's things that are just factually one way and one way only, regardless of anyone's perspective. Being where we are, I don't think we need to wander too far to find one such subject.
But in general, even if you're factually right, there's no need to jump at the chance to prove people wrong, unless it's something urgently harmful to you, them, or someone else. Even less of a need when proving them wrong will hurt them.
That's where a lot of atheists fail and the reason they're seen as so annoying and retarded (see Science Black Man deboonking Santa or some shit).

ATI Escapee said:
I dont mean to derail a vent type thread but your post resonated with me. About 6 months ago I discovered secular buddhism and buddhist psychology. Kinda like science proving certain benefits of mindfulness meditation but no real religious commitment. It seemed to sorta click with me on a vaguely spiritual yet godless level. Feel free to ignore the advice but perhaps searching up on that would be helpful? Good luck.
Click to expand...
Look I'm not having a severe crisis of un-faith or anything, I'm just a bit surprised by the surprising change in the situation.
I was told "this work source is over, done deal, no backsies, bye", only for a big job from said work source to be sent to me after I allowed myself to go "god help plz".

So it's like a tiny crisis of un-faith.

And my understanding is meditation does have biological benefits, though I've never been able to do it.

Also I'm glad you're doing good. Don't feel bad for feeling good.
 
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Follow up to a prior post. I paid off my phone for a month and i took care of some other things as well..but.i forgot my internet is also due this monday. So come monday either my internet will be charged and ill be 50 dollars in the red till next friday OR the payment will be declined and my internet will be cut off for 5 days. either way its a lose lose situation.
 
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Posting on Kiwifarms while waiting for the police because you just moved into a new social housing flat a few months ago, been terrorised by lower neighbours television for weeks, finally snapped and knocked on the door loudly because they wouldn't answer the doorbell, one hour later a drunk moron shows up to threaten you.
And the police call to say they're not coming. Lol.

I sure love being poor it's fucking awesome.
 
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Well, I haven't posted any updates on my time in Japan.
All but one of my favorite places are still there, including the Chinese bar I spent a lot of time in last time I was here.
My Japanese is still OK, and Baka Mitai on karaoke went down pretty well with the locals.
Just two things left to work out now.

1: A trip to Imari, which is definitely not just an excuse to visit a restaurant that appeared in one of my favorite animu...
2: Airsoft. There's an indoor field here in Fukuoka, but I'm really not sure when would be a good time to go for a walk-in, of if I even can...
 
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