- Joined
- Oct 21, 2022
I don't know how I feel. Hollow is a good word, like there's a hole in me and everything is running out of me and I can't seem to stop it.
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How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check
- Thread starter Milk Mage
- Start date
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2017
It's been two days since I returned to work, and I want to die in Minecraft all the same. I hate this job and the fucking customers and motherfucking manager so much. I've contemplated changing departments, but what's the use? Same customers, same manager. I'm also running out of potential jobs to apply to, especially those that aren't fast food. I don't really enjoy anything anymore. I tried my damndest to relax while "on vacation" but I just couldn't. I enjoyed Cocaine Bear but everything else is ":/" to me or I feel like I need to stop so I can try to make more money or get a new job.
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what a fuckin waste
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2021
I've realized there really is nothing to life. There's no greater purpose, you're supposed to go to work everyday to fund tomorrow, so you can go to work again. You can try to bury yourself in distractions, jew-filled hollywood or nigger filled media; it's all the same. There's no point in doing this except to be a good taxpayer. I get it, I don't want to live in an underfunded shithole, but the entire chase seems meaningless. Work more to buy more shit so working more seems less miserable. Immerse yourself in subject matter and people that you despise, but hey, at least it pays the bills. Cause that's all there really is, and endless cycle of work and bills. I didn't choose this nightmare, but I'm part of it all the same. Somehow people mourn young deaths, but at least they get to check out before they realize how pointless it all is. And if I'm lucky, I get to do this until I'm fucking 70. what joy
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2022
I gotta make a big leap into a future career for the rest of my life and it's pretty intimidating. On the other hand all my rifle parts are finally here
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2020
Unsolicited update: Phone call guy might be ghosting me, but the place that sent me pre-interview questions had me come in for an in-person interview earlier today and I'm pretty sure they liked me. I'm not sure how I feel about them yet, but this interview had a similar vibe to the interview I had for my current job, and for my first interview in 3+ years I think that's great. All there's left to do now is sit back and see how this plays out (and continue applying to other jobs of course).
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
Go somewhere else and earn less, buy less stuff while also paying less for your home. If you are capable and trustworthy(or thrust worthy) you can find a job anywhere at any time.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
I'm a bit under the weather. Mild fever, a small amount of congestion, and a bit of coughing. Other than that things are alright. Nearly finished the course I'm taking, and I've done well in my grades, so I'm fairly happy about that. Going to take a few months off to work and have fun, then I'll take the course for the next level, since my qualification is fairly low-level and I want to advance a few rungs in the career. It means more studying, but I'm lucky to have parents who will let me live with them while I study, so I don't have to worry about school and paying rent.
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2017
I’m doing pretty good! Had a chill day, but lately I noticed that I’ve been lurking the farms instead of participating and now I’m overthinking every post I make. I try use a formal writing style here because I’m a writefag and knowing that this could end up in a screenshot makes me much more careful about constructing decent posts, but everywhere else I’m more casual. I know I come across as stiff sometimes and it’s because I don’t want to look and sound like a total retard 
Basically, I’ve gotta let the two opposing forces of internet autism inside coalesce LOL
Basically, I’ve gotta let the two opposing forces of internet autism inside coalesce LOL
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
I feel icky. Can't elaborate because it's just a general feeling. But I'm sure you all know it.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2022
I had a horrible psychological experience that I'm still coupling with. (This is only half sardonic.)
It was one of those thoughts that bubbles up the whole day, then comes to a boil.
I was looking up tutorials for something on youtube. I saw a video: "Uplifting BGM songs for your daily routine | Inspirational | Morning Routine Music."
I thought, "Hey, why not give it a go in the background while I get to work?"
What comes after TikTok? That's what got me laid awake in bed at night.
It was one of those thoughts that bubbles up the whole day, then comes to a boil.
I was looking up tutorials for something on youtube. I saw a video: "Uplifting BGM songs for your daily routine | Inspirational | Morning Routine Music."
I thought, "Hey, why not give it a go in the background while I get to work?"
I put it on and within the first minute, was in disgust. It was so vapid. Worse than pop radio. It was like Pinterest mixed with LaCroix mixed with #deepthoughts. I thought this must be some horrible navel-gazing vanity project music by teenagers or art students who think their first breakup is a story on par with Moby Dick.
I looked at the video. It had tens of millions of views. These bands were apparently popular. The comments were full of people saying they listen to this during their work-from-home work or in the office.
Oh no. They're not teenage art students. These are adults.
Later the same day, I was with some female relatives, and they put on their music. It was Lizzo. I was aware of the concept of Lizzo, but this was my first exposure to the actual works of Lizzo. I don't like Lizzo. Then they put on a rapper by the name of Young Gravy. It was what I'd call "TikTok music."
And I thought..... this is popular. This is what average people like. They thought I was weird for not having heard these songs before, being the same age range as them. These relatives of mine are popular, successful, normal people by all common metrics. These are white women in their 20s. They listen to Lizzo and Young Gravy and laugh at people who don't know their songs.
Oh no.
No, I'm not planning to become an incel or mass shooter. I just felt dejected. I like to fantasize that everyone hates TikTok and that whole scene, but the reality is it's very popular in my age range. And all the artists who come with. Even the people who'll tell you they hate TikTok and would never install it on their phones- half of them are still guzzling down those sweet sweet YouTube Shorts.
I looked at the video. It had tens of millions of views. These bands were apparently popular. The comments were full of people saying they listen to this during their work-from-home work or in the office.
Oh no. They're not teenage art students. These are adults.
Later the same day, I was with some female relatives, and they put on their music. It was Lizzo. I was aware of the concept of Lizzo, but this was my first exposure to the actual works of Lizzo. I don't like Lizzo. Then they put on a rapper by the name of Young Gravy. It was what I'd call "TikTok music."
And I thought..... this is popular. This is what average people like. They thought I was weird for not having heard these songs before, being the same age range as them. These relatives of mine are popular, successful, normal people by all common metrics. These are white women in their 20s. They listen to Lizzo and Young Gravy and laugh at people who don't know their songs.
Oh no.
No, I'm not planning to become an incel or mass shooter. I just felt dejected. I like to fantasize that everyone hates TikTok and that whole scene, but the reality is it's very popular in my age range. And all the artists who come with. Even the people who'll tell you they hate TikTok and would never install it on their phones- half of them are still guzzling down those sweet sweet YouTube Shorts.
What comes after TikTok? That's what got me laid awake in bed at night.
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2022
Worst than ever.
Sometimes, you get these feelings where you think that you are taking steps in the right direction, and you feel motivated to change things, and you feel empowered.
And then, once you take in the endorphine, it all dies down. And you realize that the very reason you were seeking help in the first place is the reason you won't follow through. Euphoria is gone, gloom and fear is all what's left.
Then again, I am used to it, I don't actually feel that bad at this very moment. For reasons.
Sometimes, you get these feelings where you think that you are taking steps in the right direction, and you feel motivated to change things, and you feel empowered.
And then, once you take in the endorphine, it all dies down. And you realize that the very reason you were seeking help in the first place is the reason you won't follow through. Euphoria is gone, gloom and fear is all what's left.
Then again, I am used to it, I don't actually feel that bad at this very moment. For reasons.
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2019
I have become pure evil and I’m enjoying it quite a bit.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2022
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
It's absurdly windy right now. Surprised I still have electricity. Had the rest of my kava I made while comforting my terrified dog. Pretty chill despite all the crazy outside. Really thirsty, though.
Got a pizza in the oven.
Got a pizza in the oven.
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2019
Mostly stealing and abusing customer service to get free food by deliberately choosing a shit location of Panera or whatever, then using the store credit at a good one.
Whenever some nog is chimping out at the self checkout I “forget” to scan shit, bag it and just walk the fuck out with free lightning cables, etc.
I can afford them, too. It’s more about sending a message.
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2020
Listen, in the Latin American world, we've been suffering the reign of Reggaeton for well over a decade now. There's been evolution within the genre and some subgenres have emerged, and of course the newer stuff is worse than the older stuff, but as a whole, we know with certainty that's the bottom of the barrel. The bedrock of horrendous but popular music.
Your Nigzos and Young Niggys and uplifting pop music may be bad, and surely they are, but take solace in the fact that you can skip right to the end of the line of musical suck, and know that it simply cannot get worse than that.
Two semi related things but not really that I'll just take the chance to bring up:
-I'm into fanedits (which is to say, versions of movies and tv shows edited by fans to achieve whatever creative vision they may have), I even made one. There's a fanedit of the latest Thor movie that purports to tone down the humor to improve the movie, and I say that's a noble goal, let's see what they do.
It doesn't succeed, but that's not the point here: to remove a stupid narration at the start, the faneditor did a montage of Thor's story up to that point, which is not a bad idea, but he used one of those sappy uplifting pop songs that probably are in, or are similar to that playlist you suffered.
That movie is entirely themed around Guns'n'Roses. There's multiple GNR songs in it. There's a character who wants to be called Axl because he loves GNR so much.
Why the FUCK did the faneditor not pick one of GNR's more melancholic songs for that montage rather than this piece of shit nothing song? Ridiculous.
-Speaking of rappers, the other day was the 50th anniversary of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, and in a video about it, the youtuber mentioned a mumble rapper called Lil' Yatchy had recently dropped out of nowhere a psychedelic rock album with clear DSotM influences. I listened to it, and no, it's more of an R&B album on the whole, but the first track? Admirable effort at a Pink Floyd song. Still has mumble rapper bad lyrics and shitty autotune singing, but man, beyond that it's something I would listen from time to time. I was truly surprised.
After some things in my life that I've mentioned in this thread before, I decided to get my shit together, look after my health, my lifestyle, etc. I had motivation, I was building some semblance of discipline, I was working out, eating better, working towards dealing with personal flaws, etc.
Then I broke my right foot, just crossing the street, took a bad step and snap it went.
I felt all the fight I had in me just evaporate in that moment. Things haven't been easy since then either, and it hasn't come back to me.
So I don't have any kind of a pep talk to give you, but know that I feel you lad.
- Joined
- May 12, 2015
Ahh, you were lucky. Mine went out for a little over two hours. There's stuff blown all over the neighborhood but the wind has finally calmed down.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
To defeat the nog, he had to become the nog...