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Star Platinum said:
this was always meant to be my last attempt at getting my shit together. i give up. into the cave i go
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Take a break but don't make it permanent. You will do better when you succeed and you will have more options available for your pleasure. You should still carve a place for yourself.
 
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Currently on the phone with a marketing agent who won't shut the fuck up asking small talk questions because his computer won't load. I've gotten pretty brazen, telling him absolutely nothing has happened today and that I have never had an internet provider before in my life and he's calling me an outrageous name because he misheard my name and I just said SURE.
 
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I went to the ER on the 5th with flank pain and UTI symptoms. They said I had pyelonephritis and I got IV antibiotics and a prescription for more. They wanted to admit me because I'm immunocompromised from lupus and the medication I take for it. But I had just moved a few days ago and I didn't want to be stuck in the hospital. I should have stayed. Maybe things would have panned out better.

The dosage didn't match the number of pills in the bottle. I hate that ghetto ass pharmacy. By the time I noticed I was already really getting sick. I waited a few days hoping it would pass. But I just said "fuck it" and went back to the ER to explain the situation. This time they lost my pee so I had to give them another cup. I was on my period so they couldn't tell if any blood was in the urine. But they said my renal infection was still there plus I now have a lung infection. I had to get an abdominal CAT scan and a chest x-ray for that. Now I have two antibiotics. One for my renal woes and one for my lungs.

When I went back to the pharmacy to get those this dumbass morbidly obese tech that looks like Tweedle-Dum didn't put my insurance in right and tried to charge me $51 for one antibiotic and insisted, very rudely, that there was no second antibiotic. A senior staff member fixed the insurance problem and I had to shamble home feeling like death to get the discharge papers to show them I had a second antibiotic. I narrowly bypassed Tweedle-Dum and got the Russian lady who saw immediately that the insurance was not put in right and got my prescription for me in less than five minutes.

Other people were having problems with this guy too. He won't last there long. He's rude and stupid and just mumbles everything.

I was really sick last night. I'm hoping in a couple of days the symptoms get better. This combo of antibiotics is supposed to work. I don't want to go back to the ER again. A guy walked in there wearing a trash bag. And I had to clean the toilet before I could even use it.
 
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Overly Serious said:
I gave up once. Depressingly, it didn't actually make anything better. If it helps, start small. That's what worked for me. Small victories and tiny improvements that became habitual. Eventually I reached some sort of tipping point and achieved something meaningful.
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Shadfan666xxx000 said:
Take a break but don't make it permanent. You will do better when you succeed and you will have more options available for your pleasure. You should still carve a place for yourself.
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i appreciate the sentiments, but i'm pretty much donezo. i cleaned up, shaved the beard, got the degrees, got the fancy white collar job, and it's just so obvious to me that i'm not built for this shit. i'm meant to be a parasitic cavedweller. plus you can't take a break in this career; an employment gap is basically terminal so it's all or nothing.
 
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Star Platinum said:
i appreciate the sentiments, but i'm pretty much donezo. i cleaned up, shaved the beard, got the degrees, got the fancy white collar job, and it's just so obvious to me that i'm not built for this shit. i'm meant to be a parasitic cavedweller. plus you can't take a break in this career; an employment gap is basically terminal so it's all or nothing.
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Just lie on the resume and have someone cover for you. It's not that hard.
 
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I snapped at a coworker again. I hadn't seen him in months, I'd say. He came by to chitchat and I told the shitbird that I had no use for him and for him to go on about his way. I don't have any patience to be polite to the people I hate anymore. The last time I snapped at someone nothing came of it. I'd rather them just not speak to me at all and keep away.
 
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Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
I snapped at a coworker again. I hadn't seen him in months, I'd say. He came by to chitchat and I told the shitbird that I had no use for him and for him to go on about his way. I don't have any patience to be polite to the people I hate anymore. The last time I snapped at someone nothing came of it. I'd rather them just not speak to me at all and keep away.
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Jeez, calm down Dennis Reynolds
 
So I'm pretty pissed. Been suffering with a pretty nasty illness since January and had an appointment for it that I was desperate for today. I'm in pain a lot, and it took a battle with my useless GPs to convince them not to just throw a random med at me and send me to the hospital. I've waited since June for this.

I got a message telling me it got cancelled because of yet another walk out strike.

At this rate I'm probably going to have to turn to private care again to actually get some help like I did with the ADHD meds (that the GPs refuse to give me on the NHS because I didn't get diagnosed "the right way" as they put it). Fuck the NHS.
 
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My plan b turned out to be a washout but I did get a very thin lead at becoming a gas fitter apprentice. I'll follow up on that one and keep my fingers crossed.

Update: I have a job interview for an apprentice position tomorrow. I think I sufficiently explained the career changes on my resume and I believe I have demonstrated strengths that they'll be happy with. I feel like this could be a great long term career solution.

My dumbass is still buying lottery tickets on occasion, but I'm keeping that under control and will likely stop when my finances are secure.
 
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Nick Obre said:
Jeez, calm down Dennis Reynolds
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Does he say shitbird a lot?

The coworker is an arrogant and insulting tool that everyone hates, but most of the rest of them are very fake, they laugh and smile with him and then start backbiting as soon as he's gone. Some time back he jumped the shark towards me and my feelings towards him hit zero Kelvin.
 
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Betonhaus said:
This week I'll do more job hunting. I'll have to borrow a little money from family to cover some upcoming bills. I did do applications for income support, but god knows when I'll hear back from them - let along if I'll be approved.
If I do get a temporary funding source then I'll be able to go back to school next year as enough years have passed from my bankruptcy that I'm eligeable again. No idea what i'll do but I have a few months to decide, and to determine if it's necessary or if i have established a career path. Based on my personality getting my CPA and becoming an accountant would be the safest and most stable path, but i do see the draw of getting into politics - providing I can survive with the schtick of brutal honestly and introspection.
None of that is relevant if i don't secure income soon.
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Candidly: if you have aptitude for accounting or bookkeeping, pursue that over “politics.” Politics can wait, and there are many ways to be politically involved in your non-working time. But you need a firm foundation (materially and qualifications-wise) before politics (I assume you mean running for office) is even a consideration.

And reading your more recent comments, I hope the apprenticeship works out! Stabilize your life, build a bit, then think about other options - or maybe you won’t even to.

WelperHelper99 said:
My friend of many years just ended our friendship over text. Honestly don't know how I'm taking it rn. Apparently I remind him of people in his past and I've "gas lit him". I've took this man shooting, showed him how to change his oil and spark plugs, played D&D and video games with him, been there for him in some of his toughest moments... and he just threw it away. I don't know what I could have done better.
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Sometime people just drift and grow apart/away. It is painful and okay to grieve, but also aim just to accept that that relationship is the past.

Update per later comment: good you’re refocusing on current relationships. Let the loss of one percolate in the background at most. It’s ok if some friendships go away.

ChaosReignsOnSomeSaturday said:
I'm most likely going to die alone, and by my own hand. Before the age of 40.
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Why? :-(
 
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Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
Candidly: if you have aptitude for accounting or bookkeeping, pursue that over “politics.” Politics can wait, and there are many ways to be politically involved in your non-working time. But you need a firm foundation (materially and qualifications-wise) before politics (I assume you mean running for office) is even a consideration.

And reading your more recent comments, I hope the apprenticeship works out! Stabilize your life, build a bit, then think about other options - or maybe you won’t even to.
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I'm hoping it goes well, I was pretty nervous during the interview but they are checking my references now. Two are a little on the older side but know me well at my best, and one is pretty recent at a job I was doing ok at. This I would like to get into, as it gives me the flexibility to move to different towns or cities once I'm established.

At the bare minimum if I can hold in until I can get into accounting next year, but I'd like to be able to stick with this.
 
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Friend of Dorothy Parker said:
Sometime people just drift and grow apart/away. It is painful and okay to grieve, but also aim just to accept that that relationship is the past.

Update per later comment: good you’re refocusing on current relationships. Let the loss of one percolate in the background at most. It’s ok if some friendships go away.
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I feel right now, leaving him alone is for the best. I've run the tapes, talked to my other friends; all of us think he's jumped the shark, possibly planning on doing something stupid. At this point I only hold concern for him. I realize yeah, he sees me as a threat- I'd call the cops on him if he got suicidal. I refused to bow to his teenage logic on suicide. No. It's stupid and selfish by definition. So many people would miss him. He's proving it right now when everyone in his life that's connected the dots is horrified. I ain't giving up on him, even if that means drastic measures are taken.
 
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