How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
Sleep is all fucked up from jet lag and day light saving. I pan fried chicken breast at 330 in the morning like a crack head. Other than that, not bad. I could be one of these cursed souls that kiwi autists ridicule so it could be much worse.
 
Exhausted and disoriented. I want a fucking job, I am applying to every single place I can within a 10 mile radius and have been for months, why haven't I gotten any word back. From the hundreds of companies I have tried to contact and sent resumes and filled out pages upon pages of useless bullshit quizzes for. Why.

Spoiler: more friend group shit
The group and I finally hung out together and it was... I don't know.
It was so strange.
It felt like I'd sunken into a stew of convoluted miasma. It was like I'd been displaced in time and nothing was as it should've been. The feeling haunted me throughout the session, but... I had fun.

I bounced as I said I would. Nobody came after me when I did. I don't know why I expected otherwise, but it was still a little disappointing. Not like it matters, though... I've been a bit preoccupied with other shit.
 
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Overall I would say, things are improving for me. I have stopped my terminally online ways, got an okay-ish job, and working on stabilizing the financial situation for the people around me.

What concerns me is that I might need to get a second job if I want to have escape velocity economically because things are slowly sinking, that's how stagnation feels when the economy is really slowing down. The saying "when you are not growing, you are dying" rings true.
 
I just found out someone very important to me who has been having a mental breakdown has been being used and drained of their finances by their worthless significant other. I want to destroy that leech but I am powerless in this situation.
Nobody is powerless when they have time. Revenge is best served cold.
As for me, I'm fine actually. I've had to do some running around for documents and actually keeping with Nofap is kind of annoying. Either way, I see things looking up over all.
 
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Pretty good I suppose. October was pretty shit. Had to use up all my savings after my cat went to the emergency vet and was in the icu and an oxygen tent for a week. He's out now and doing much better. On the bright side the vet said he was the cuddliest cat she'd ever seen and she wanted to crawl in the oxygen tent with him.
 
Of all the door shelves in my fridge to randomly break, it had to be the one with fish sauce, white wine vinegar, and shaoxing wine. Fuckkkk lmao. Half a roll of paper towels, three swiffer pads, about 2 oz of wetvac concentrate, and a grout toothbrush exfoliation with floor cleaners later, it still smells vaguely funny. At least I think I got all the glass, and I know I got all the liquid from the floor and walls so it'll be fine, just wish the smell could be definitely gone before my husband comes back from work.
Definitely traumatized the kid who opened the doors, though. Reassured him it wasn't his fault that the shelf broke and that even if it had been, accidents happen, but he was beating himself over it pretty bad. We'll probably bake together during the baby's nap or something.
 
Of all the door shelves in my fridge to randomly break, it had to be the one with fish sauce, white wine vinegar, and shaoxing wine. Fuckkkk lmao. Half a roll of paper towels, three swiffer pads, about 2 oz of wetvac concentrate, and a grout toothbrush exfoliation with floor cleaners later, it still smells vaguely funny. At least I think I got all the glass, and I know I got all the liquid from the floor and walls so it'll be fine, just wish the smell could be definitely gone before my husband comes back from work.
Definitely traumatized the kid who opened the doors, though. Reassured him it wasn't his fault that the shelf broke and that even if it had been, accidents happen, but he was beating himself over it pretty bad. We'll probably bake together during the baby's nap or something.
Had almost exactly that happen, fish sauce, a super hot sauce that was like mace, a couple kinds of soy sauce. Of course it was the really gross stuff that broke.
 
Ate out for the first time in a while and my stomach's protesting. Other than that, I'm good.
 
Things are better. I actually have a couple of days off coming. The toxic supervisor we (a couple of other coworkers and I) got suspended last spring has officially been determined to not be coming back [government job, do you know how bad things have to be to get someone canned? This was legit], so I will now be able to keep this job until I retire. Being heard and being taken seriously is a big deal. I feel like the major, refractive depression (real diagnosis) that had been pretty bad for the last couple of years is beginning to lessen somewhat. My health has sucked over the last few years and I gained weight, but now I actually am starting to care enough to fix that.
My hope for everyone else here is that each person finds security and contentment. KF is my refuge for snark, and I suspect I am not alone in that. Most of you seem to be really decent people. Not the edgelords, but most of you.
 
I'm tired of working for someone else. I want to start my own business of some kind, but I can't come up with anything to do that I would actually be able to succeed in.
 
The bar is so low for my mom and yet she manages to limbo right under it sometimes.
I feel like shit.

It is truly depressing when you fully expect the worst out of someone... and they give you exactly that. You'd think that since you saw it coming you'd feel slightly better about it, but really, all you can think is, "Just once, can this person prove me wrong about them being an irredeemable cunt?"

Sleep is all fucked up from jet lag and day light saving. I pan fried chicken breast at 330 in the morning like a crack head. Other than that, not bad. I could be one of these cursed souls that kiwi autists ridicule so it could be much worse.

Crack heads go to Maccas or Hungry Jack's at 330am. Plenty of normal people eat at strange times, from things like night shift, new bubs, sick family, and like you said, jet lag.

Most of you seem to be really decent people. Not the edgelords, but most of you.

I have the heart of a truly good human being. It's marinating in my fridge right now, for tea tomorrow night.


So a few days after I got hit with an unexpected $300 bill, $260 randomly appeared in my account. Apparently this provider over charged a lot of people and I'm one of them, according to their website. I'm not complaining but some warning would be nice. I live in fear of being given money by mistake and having to pay it back. So it's a good thing, but I'm going to talk to the provider before I throw it at the surprise bill.
 
Wouldn't work for me. A doll isn't going to cook or clean or look after the kids.
I don't just want a moist hole; I want to find someone who will have a hot meal waiting for me after I finish work for the day, someone to build a home and a family together with me. But in this hellscape, that's just too much to ask, I guess.
Forget about women/partnership/sex for a bit. Use that time and freed-up mental bandwidth to make yourself into a man worth having a relationship with. This will improve everything about your life, not just the romantic stuff. The things to evolve are the things you deem important to you as a man. What do you want to be able to do in life?

It's simple, really, but that does not mean it'll be easy. You'll have bad days. You'll fuck things up. You'll want to just say fuck it and give up at various points. Don't. I can promise two things: it's always worth it, and if a fucking mess like me can do it, you can too.

Then, once you're farther along the path toward being the man you see in your mind, finding a woman worth building something with gets easier. What makes this part easier is that you are yourself a more attractive man and you've likely shed a lot of mental baggage that would have made it more difficult to discern which women are worth your time and commitment. That drug-induced haze that every relationship starts with is easier to push aside if you've invested the time and effort into yourself, and you'll not only have a better understanding of what you want in a relationship, you'll be in a place to articulate and demonstrate what that is to others.

Self-actualization is like a mathematical limit: we can move incrementally ever closer, but we never truly get there. So go after it, but be patient with yourself as you do. There's probably a few women out there that are good partners for you, that'll be into you enough to commit war crimes with you. Help yourself have the eyes to see her.
 
Man I just ate some Lion's Mane and that was so tasty, I'm feeling incredible.
Forget about women/partnership/sex for a bit. Use that time and freed-up mental bandwidth to make yourself into a man worth having a relationship with. This will improve everything about your life, not just the romantic stuff. The things to evolve are the things you deem important to you as a man. What do you want to be able to do in life?
But still make an effort to go out and get laid, it's moreso for the practice of the socialization and flirting, not just for the experience. What women say they want and what they really want are two completely different things, and nobody really tells you which parts, you just sort of have to discover it yourself. But the main one is that women like men a little forceful that pursue a little. All that stuff you read online is absolute fucking fantasy written out by the people that sit around online all day, people with perpetual anxiety. Seriously disordered people. That's not how men and women work in real flesh and blood. Women don't want you to fucking ask them to kiss them, they want the excitement of the spontaneity, though you may want to do it anyway for strictly legal reasons.
 
Man I just ate some Lion's Mane and that was so tasty, I'm feeling incredible.

But still make an effort to go out and get laid, it's moreso for the practice of the socialization and flirting, not just for the experience. What women say they want and what they really want are two completely different things, and nobody really tells you which parts, you just sort of have to discover it yourself. But the main one is that women like men a little forceful that pursue a little. All that stuff you read online is absolute fucking fantasy written out by the people that sit around online all day, people with perpetual anxiety. Seriously disordered people. That's not how men and women work in real flesh and blood. Women don't want you to fucking ask them to kiss them, they want the excitement of the spontaneity, though you may want to do it anyway for strictly legal reasons.
I've found when dating women want the men to take care of the interaction and guide it, but still allow them veto rights. Sort of like a dance where you're leading and they are just taking their steps in response to yours and not thinking about the steps that go next.
 
I've found when dating women want the men to take care of the interaction and guide it, but still allow them veto rights. Sort of like a dance where you're leading and they are just taking their steps in response to yours and not thinking about the steps that go next.
I agree. The problem is they then seem to want one single thing but want you to guess what it is because they'll veto everything you suggest until you get to "tacos" for the 500th time and then complain when you don't take enough initiative in the future.
 
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