How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Betonhaus]

The government chose to issue my January income payment early which helps relieve some of the stress, even if I'm still broke because almost all that money is already spoken for

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Apparently when you get married you learn that there is no conceivable way of having a modest wedding.

I've seen a few couples in this predicament and it always spirals out of hand.

I have no idea why. You can have a great wedding and reception for low cost. Giving into the wedding-industrial complex is Big Gay.

 

[RACISM]

It's been one of the best weeks I've had in a long time, both professionally and personally.

 

[DavidS877]

I would think it odd if a man my age had had few to none serious relationships

Well, there's another on why I'm not going to get a date.

If you'll excuse me I need to go yell at the squirrels.

 

[generic sauce]

Almost over covid, not going to bother taking a test today, might take one tomorrow though. Had a session with my addiction councilor today, went well but usually makes me want to drink more than usual for some reason. Got my twitter account unbanned by spamming total nigger death in the appeal forms again, get that back in 12 hours. So having some beers, shitposting, listening to some grinded nig and stormtroop 16.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Well, there's another on why I'm not going to get a date.

If you'll excuse me I need to go yell at the squirrels.

Again to qualify, depends on why this is. I'd like to PL to the moon and back about this for a sec, but all I'll say is if you just simply say why this was the case and it makes sense in a good way, that's it really. Just relax. This is as individual as buying car insurance.

If a woman is single at my age, you should probably be asking the same question. What's up with that and did you have any serious relationships? How did they go and why? Maybe she has a good explanation for her past or she doesn't, but this is a super two way street. This is one of those sex independent variables.

 

[AnOminous]

the women will negrate me

I'll negrate you too just out of spite, don't you dare tell me how to rate you.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I just wanted to say a big thanks to everyone heres who's actually given me some really great wisdom and support the last couple of months. It's weird to think how kind people can be on the sociopath fruit forum.
Obviously I know that should be obvious, but sometimes when reading the other boards on here and seeing the responses to certain topics I forget that the people are either A)logging or b)using dramatic overkill and mostly taking the piss.
But seriously, it's nice to have some feedback from people who seemingly have gone through similar enough life conditions without it being preachy and toxic-positivity or the other end of just telling me to buy crypto and hit the gym. There's a lot of people who don't have support nowadays so they're falling down really shitty roads based off of who is offering to give them "guidance". So it's nice to actually be able to talk to people who aren't selling anyone snake-oil.
This end of year is always the hardest for me. It's really damn painful. So thank you guys for everything.

 

[Welsh Catgirl Enjoyer]

Currently in my "it's so over" phase. I keep forgetting to take my meds (some SSRI stuff). There's some generic counselling service but I've not reached out. I've been referred to therapy last month but since the NHS is a big crock of shit they said it would take till January, even though I've been told my background puts me at higher risk of suicide.

Depression/Anxiety caused me to lose my job I had for nearly 3 years, which caused me to have my biggest panic attack I've had in years and pass out on the bed before finally telling someone else what just happened. I've been eating more takeaway cause I'll just wake up late and extremely depressed and want something enjoyable, a few times my nerves have been irritable to the point that I've probably been seen as a bipolar to a few people lately. And I think I've entered a hikkikomori-lite phase (I'll still go out if invited and whatnot, but I'm basically a recluse right now and basically live in my room). Suicidal ideations are back and worse than they've been in a couple years, though it's the "plan but no intent" type (a couple weeks back I just kept imagining stabbing a chisel through the side of my own neck. I have no clue why but when they're bad, they get extremely graphic and I start thinking about killing myself in a way that makes the biggest bloody mess). Sleeping pattern is fucked too. I'll fall asleep at like 6am, wake up at 12pm-2pm, then maybe black out again for a couple hours while waiting for something, and I'm pretty often bumping into work friends in my dreams and explaining everything that went on.

The worst thing is that I've essentially entered into a "going through the motions" kind of phase. I have no desires to do anything new, try anything out of my comfort zone. Nor to really persue a hobby or anything at all. I'm just going through the motions and doing as I think I've always done. Like I'm not even in control, just walking.

Shit fucking sucks man. Suicidal ideations are the scary bit to me. The fact I'm imagining this shit and planning it in my head makes me worried, cause all that's left is that last puzzle piece, the intent. And while I've not had that at all yet, I know that people in my situation tend to speedrun the last steps which is what makes it kinda fucking dangerous. I'm only comfortable posting this shit here cause it's anonymous, talking about this shit irl is hard, and Twitter/Reddit is full of retards who only talk about things for social validation.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Feeling a bit sick, might have covid. I'm getting fucking sick of people coming to work sick; if their job is able to be done remotely. If you feel a bit shit, work remote that day and figure it out. Test is a bit fuzzy so I'll; probably, buy another in the AM.

I'm not a "muh covid it's the end" guy. But it's quite annoying to get sick from someone. You buy shit I tell you to buy; just stay home.

 

[bile demon]

It's been one of the best weeks I've had in a long time, both professionally and personally.

The Jews told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. RACISM's heart sank as he thought of the enormous power arrayed against him, the ease with which any Hebraic intellectual would overthrow him in debate, the subtle arguments which he would not be able to understand, much less answer. And yet he was in the right! They were wrong and he was right. The obvious, the silly, and the true had got to be defended. Truisms are true, hold on to that! The solid world exists, its laws do not change. Men cannot be women, anime is for pedophiles, the differences in cognitive abilities between the human races are genetically encoded and heritable. With the feeling that he was speaking to Null, and also that he was setting forth an important axiom, RACISM wrote:

Freedom is the freedom to write "NIGGER" on the Internet . If that is granted, all else follows.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

They hired YET ANOTHER fetal alcohol syndrome person. He came dressed to the job interview like it was a rap music video. I asked my boss where he'd worked before. "Oh, this is his first job."
He totally just got out of jail/prison, OR he's even more retarded than my initial impression- or both.
My boss likes sob story cases because of his personal life issues, and also because he wants to be the smartest person in the room at all times but is an idiot who literally fucks up boiled eggs on the daily, so to be the smart one he literally keeps hiring these actual special needs people who seriously cannot tie their own shoes.

I need someone with freaking earlobes and eyeballs both pointing forward who doesn't require my 1:1 supervision to not cut themselves or ruin hundreds of dollars of product. My friends told me to just keep my head down and do my job, but the issue is I can't do literally everything and need to work as a team- and none of my team can freaking READ or WRITE.

They gave me another fat raise but I'm still thinking of quitting.

 

[Betonhaus]

They gave me another fat raise but I'm still thinking of quitting.

Take a vacation that's long enough that you're pretty sure things will fall apart without you, then when you get back point blank explain to your boss that the people he hire are not suitable for the work and it would be better for you to take over that role. Then quit on the spot if they say no or refuse to concede to increasingly severe demands.

 

[CowPox]

Injured my lower back fucking my chick too hard and contemplating going to open mat.

 

[Neighborhood Curmudgeon]

My vacation is almost over. It's been fun though! All the same, I'm glad I still have a job to go back to. While I do like my job and I'm grateful to have it, I also realize how little my coworkers matter to me and how much I hate the stuffy administration that goes on around me as I do my mail processing. But at the end of the day, it's worth it.

 

[Seafarer]

Sick with flu right before Christmas

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Apparently when you get married you learn that there is no conceivable way of having a modest wedding.

I've seen a few couples in this predicament and it always spirals out of hand.

Apparently so. I'd be fine with a registry signing then getting Burger King after. But if you're serious about being with your women forever, a few grand getting into flowers, her makeup and hair done, and a decent showing in terms of guests seems like a small price to pay.

We're still talking a few grand only. The last wedding I went to, the groom dropped five figures on just the fucking venue and food. Good job for him he's Indian...

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

Take a vacation that's long enough that you're pretty sure things will fall apart without you, then when you get back point blank explain to your boss that the people he hire are not suitable for the work and it would be better for you to take over that role. Then quit on the spot if they say no or refuse to concede to increasingly severe demands.

This is pretty close to my plan.

I saw some paperwork on accident. They pay me the rate of someone with 10 years experience. It's really crazy. I was the lowest paid person in the building and now I'm one of the highest. It has weird Christian implications, in my own worldview.


On the topic of weddings, I know someone who proposed by leaving the ring on the TV remote, and then simply went to Olive Garden-type restaurant without so much as a reservation. Married til death did them part. And no she wasn't pregnant. They dated for five years before marrying. Neither of them were into "fanfare" as they put it, also I think they both had the sort of libertarian bent about not needing the government's recognition of unions or something.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Currently in my "it's so over" phase. I keep forgetting to take my meds (some SSRI stuff). There's some generic counselling service but I've not reached out. I've been referred to therapy last month but since the NHS is a big crock of shit they said it would take till January, even though I've been told my background puts me at higher risk of suicide.

Depression/Anxiety caused me to lose my job I had for nearly 3 years, which caused me to have my biggest panic attack I've had in years and pass out on the bed before finally telling someone else what just happened. I've been eating more takeaway cause I'll just wake up late and extremely depressed and want something enjoyable, a few times my nerves have been irritable to the point that I've probably been seen as a bipolar to a few people lately. And I think I've entered a hikkikomori-lite phase (I'll still go out if invited and whatnot, but I'm basically a recluse right now and basically live in my room). Suicidal ideations are back and worse than they've been in a couple years, though it's the "plan but no intent" type (a couple weeks back I just kept imagining stabbing a chisel through the side of my own neck. I have no clue why but when they're bad, they get extremely graphic and I start thinking about killing myself in a way that makes the biggest bloody mess). Sleeping pattern is fucked too. I'll fall asleep at like 6am, wake up at 12pm-2pm, then maybe black out again for a couple hours while waiting for something, and I'm pretty often bumping into work friends in my dreams and explaining everything that went on.

The worst thing is that I've essentially entered into a "going through the motions" kind of phase. I have no desires to do anything new, try anything out of my comfort zone. Nor to really persue a hobby or anything at all. I'm just going through the motions and doing as I think I've always done. Like I'm not even in control, just walking.

Shit fucking sucks man. Suicidal ideations are the scary bit to me. The fact I'm imagining this shit and planning it in my head makes me worried, cause all that's left is that last puzzle piece, the intent. And while I've not had that at all yet, I know that people in my situation tend to speedrun the last steps which is what makes it kinda fucking dangerous. I'm only comfortable posting this shit here cause it's anonymous, talking about this shit irl is hard, and Twitter/Reddit is full of retards who only talk about things for social validation.

How can you not be hikkikomori-lite these days? The music sucks, movies suck, the culture and entertainment sucks, if you're suitably intelligent you can entertain yourself cheaply at home far easier and cheaply than the average impulsive retard can... I can pirate any movie the day it's availably digitally at 4k, TV shows; I can make mixed drinks at home and I don't need to spend 500%+ for a watered-down version; at this point if I even wanted to meet people I'd have to find a new job, or maybe take some college classes somewhere to get a new skill (when I probably could watch youtube videos).

It reminds me of the worst advice I was ever given. Focus on your studies, and don't party. Well, I didn't party, but the people who did networked and got ins, I didn't.

I'm barely able to communicate with people in person lately and barely can summon up the willpower to post on the farms, much to everyone's chagrin, I'm sure

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

It reminds me of the worst advice I was ever given. Focus on your studies, and don't party. Well, I didn't party, but the people who did networked and got ins, I didn't.

Same; I focused on school and not dating. My school load was quite heavy, one year I average something like 2 hours of sleep a day. I don't recommend that btw. Now I'm trying to meet people as a professional; but socially in a much younger life stage; it's weird as fuck.

barely can summon up the willpower to post on the farms, much to everyone's chagrin, I'm sure

How dare you, I enjoy your posts. Well, I agree with them most of the time anyway. Enjoy might be a strong word for describing our world accurately.

------------

I'm solo and sick for Christmas this year; and broke as well. But things are turning around. I'm putting in work getting fit; or rather less unfit; found out that everyone from a certain work group I had after I graduated have all gone on to be pretty heavy hitters or have interesting jobs in our niche. Besides the whore that took my job. I shouldn't be happy about that, but she was such a cunt.