How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

don't know fucking how
Have you been moving more than usual? Like walking. What have you been eating? I found personally cutting bread was a big one for me.
Had the day off, so I made chocolate chip cookies. The flour was a bit old, so the final product is maybe only B-tier. Still gonna eat them!
any tier cookie is better than no cookie. (Unless it’s incinerated)
Writing shit haiku
On the gayest site on earth
Just to shit post etc
You are good
Fun way to shit post here
Will you start a band?

I was at a restaurant today and I told my waitress she looked like the girl from my bloody valentine. She actually knew what I was talking about and she said that was a first time being told that. It was a pretty good laugh.
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Also saw a beautiful ice ring in the sky. The ice moved over the moon like a waterfall.
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Had 2 job interviews today. Exhausting. Felt like the first one went okay, not sure if it went well or not, but the conversation seemed to be a good one. Second one I feel like I bombed, but that's partly because I couldn't get a read on the interviewer's feelings to my answers. Not terribly optimistic.

Pray for me.
 
Had 2 job interviews today. Exhausting. Felt like the first one went okay, not sure if it went well or not, but the conversation seemed to be a good one. Second one I feel like I bombed, but that's partly because I couldn't get a read on the interviewer's feelings to my answers. Not terribly optimistic.

Pray for me.
There's something I literally just found out that might be useful: Trades like electricians are desperate for new apprentices, but they don't post job listings online. According to an electrician i know you can just use your phone book to find a list of electrician (or other trades) companies in the area, then either call or drop by with a clean shirt and ask if they will be hiring a new apprentice, and as long as you always show up on time and are willing to learn they'd be happy to have you. the odds of finding a shop that will hire is much much higher then doing online listings - despite every fucking job finding agency and such directing you to apply online.
 
Have you been moving more than usual? Like walking.
Nope. I like to walk, so I always try to sneak in some long walks when I can, but that has been that way since forever and it hadn't made lose weight like this (I'll point out again that I was overestimating how much I lost, not 40 pounds but still significant).

What have you been eating?
Same as always, if not worse.

I found personally cutting bread was a big one for me.
I cut bread. In half. Then I put ham and cheese inside 😆

Jokes aside, I've been feeling under the weather for the last few days. I don't know if I caught a cold or something's wrong with my stomach, or both.
Fortunately, the workload has been pretty low recently, so I haven't had to work while feeling sick.
 
We had to put our dog down today. He was nearly 15 1/2, and a breed that rarely makes it to 14, so it's not like we didn't know this day was coming, but it still felt extremely sudden. For the longest time, his health and energy were still that of a 5 year old dog, and even when we could definitely start to see the age on him the past few months, it was still closer to how a 10 year old dog would act. In the span of about 24 hours though, his age caught up to him all at once. Part of me wonders if we could have had a few more months with him if we had boarded him at the hospital and had them try absolutely everything, but chances are, even with 24/7 vet care, he was unlikely to last the rest of the week, and I think it would have been selfish to keep him in pain that long just for a chance to basically bring him home for a couple of months of what would amount to canine hospice care, as a dog his age probably isn't making a 100% recovery from something this severe, even if he did make it through the immediate stuff.
 
Woke up with a pinched nerve in my neck a few days back, was so bad today I had to call in sick. We're talking 8-9/10 on the pain level, truly fucking miserable.

I've had this before, but it went away within 48 hours. I'm praying this doesn't turn into a chronic issue, as it's keeping me out of the gym.

All I've been doing since is popping pills and staying hydrated. Had a massage from the wife two days ago, but I think it aggravated it further.

Fuck me.
 
Got more family stuff to deal with this weekend, then I go right back to working. I still haven't found a new job yet.

I just want to play video games.
Start calling up electrical shops in your area and ask if they're hiring new apprentices?
 
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Work is an absolute nightmare with most people I work with acting more like children than adults and needing to spend so much time massaging relationships I barely have time to do my actual job.

I've never been so psychologically drained. It's starting to take its toll on me and I see it affecting the way I interact with my family.

The worst part is, we moved across the country for this job, on paper it made sense, the pay was much better and the kids are having a great time in the new environment.

Everything's great except the job, so I've been soldiering through for their sake, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up.
 
They want me to go to vision rehab 3x a week for a couple months, but 1) I can't drive to get there 2) I can't get time off work and 3) No one is confident it'll even help. Everyone always says "Talk about your concerns" but I told the doctor these things and his idea was literally "quit your job and move back in with your parents lol ur fucked." I don't even have parents anymore. I just straight up can't afford to put my life on pause for all this. Most people can't even tell I have a paralyzed eye, they just think I look stupid and don't drive because I am too lazy to get my liscense (I have my driver's liscense and a car- that I got before I got paralyzed.)

My plan is to go two or three times, and explain that I straight up can't keep doing it, and see what they have to say. The issue is that most of it they use a bunch of fancy tools I don't own, and since I have reduced sensation and vision issues, it's actually pretty hard to "be my own trainer" because I literally can't feel or see if I'm doing it right.

I've been frustrated over all of this, but just in the background. But today I went to a fast food place with a friend, and he automatically started reading the menu off the wall above the counter for me, and I really snapped at him and went "No! I can read that! Don't read it out!" Youch.
I could not read it. But what am I supposed to do? I just can't quit my job and I'm not built to be NEET- and no one is even saying vision rehab will fix me or work that well. Not to mention the 40 dollar copay for every single session!
 
My ex posted in our church's Facebook group that she's looking for a two step dance partner at a dance hall that gives free lessons. When we were dating I had suggested that we do that and she said she hated two step and was only interested in learning swing. It's nice to know that she just didn't want to dance with me and would rather dance with a stranger. It was the final push for me to realize she never cared about me and that I shouldn't waste any more mental energy on her.
 
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