How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Now I am even more pissed off about my test. Turns out CST was not Central Standard Time but Chinese Standard Time. So I completely missed my test, I'm now out $200 dollars, and I need to wait a month before I can even schedule a new test. And because it is Easter Weekend, I need to wait 3 to 5 days before they can reply to my email explaining the situation. FUCK IT ALL!
 
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Pretty good, today I bought a Squire Telecaster classic vibe. I couldn't rationally justify to myself spending the full price on a real Fender, but hey I love the tone on this thing and it makes me happy.
 
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Grundlejungle said:
My father died about a month ago, and I'm honestly dreading his funeral in a few weeks. I have to listen to people go on about how good of a person he was to them, and not blow up and ruin the event. He was a fucking nightmare to live with, even when he was in a good mood. The shit that he put his actual family through because of his pathological greed and extreme laziness was fucking horrendous. His hoarding physically and emotionally crippled everyone near him, and the feeling of pure euphoria that I got when the first 40 yard dumpster was filled and hauled off is borderline indescribable.
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I'm expecting this same feeling when my grandfather finally passes on (he's in the process of speedrunning Jack Scalfani's stroke record, and also has the same inexplicable ability to dodge death despite multiple heart attacks, strokes, and years of drinking like a fish) No one in our family is going to be sad, my mom straight up said that she's going to throw a party when he's gone. But he had tons of friends that somehow think he's a great guy, so I'm expecting people I don't even know to offer condolences to me while I debate telling them that he stole $10,000+ from my immediate family.
 
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I finally got an mri the other day for mini strokes I was having last year. I have a cyst / tumor on my neck. Dbt and cpt have been going nowhere because intake has been a drag and taking too long. Chewed out the psychiatrist for not putting me back on stimulants and told him the effexor for my adhd is a fucking cop out. Limiting caffeine has helped with impulsivity and mood. Same with walking around the city. I'm going to start activating my radio and find those old fuddie duddies I hear chattering on the relays.
 
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There's this fat chick at work who seems to have a crush on me and I'm starting to think she's trying to assign herself as my girlfriend. Contrary to how you might perceive me, I'm quite picky about my women, I've been very spoiled for choice in my life and I've made the mistake of settling for a lesser woman than I could have had before. In short, I'm not interested and I can hardly even remember her name. It's days like this where I wish my brother wasn't dumb enough to take the plea deal he did because she's certainly more his speed but it looks like this will end in heartbreak. It's a shame too because she has everything I don't want in a person that I also know would be great for someone else so she's not a bad choice per se,but I can already sense that she's interfering with my prospects and I wish this could play out cleanly.
 
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Spent the holiday with the Catholic side of my family and it was pretty cool. Even though they are religious, they are accepting of me, so I spent the holiday chatting with my aunts and grandma about the family secrets.
But the best of that was that I got to spend some time with my little siblings, help with their homework, watch some cartoons together, play some games. They are my everything, the little ones, and I'm always happy to be with them.
 
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I've pretty much completed my semiannual rotation of online personas. It would be time in a few months to rotate out on this site, but since people will probably know it's still me that might cause problems.
 
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I also have Monday off. Less good as I have to be awake early to drive home from Easter with the family.

As you get older family holidays get worse and worse as everyone and everything dies. Grew up on a farm with horses, goats, donkeys, etc. Now there's just a couple chickens and 2 dogs left. I keep looking at the spot where the parrot cage used to be and it too is not there any more.
 
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Betonhaus said:
I've pretty much completed my semiannual rotation of online personas. It would be time in a few months to rotate out on this site, but since people will probably know it's still me that might cause problems.
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Don't you dare take away the pugs.


Weight loss is actually starting, I'm getting stronger, and my job is going really well. One month until my review, supposedly. The teams outside of mine all have great things to say, "the communication and support from Zyklon's department has never been so good".

It's been a year since I was supposed to get married, and while the reminder hurts, it stings less and less. It feels like the last bit of pain from a healing wound. I'm sure it'll still twinge time to time, but it's freeing in a way. My head is properly in the game again, will I find love this summer? Doubtful. But, I'm going to go experience life again. I've several trips planned and I'm finding things to do, even alone. Time to make a new friend group.

Harbinger of Kali Yuga said:
Hinge you may find a few decent chicks but good luck getting a response. Unfortunately you won't have much better luck on any of the other apps, except Tinder, which has a few people looking for serious relationships but the culture overall in the west is turning into a hypercompetitive thing. If you are in your 20s and not yet financially established it's going to be a lot harder.
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I'm back on Bumble, and I think I may just give up again for awhile, until I'm down some weight. Had a match, a single mom. I just can't do that again. You'd have to be a NY 10 for me to even consider it. I broke my rules about that before and, well, it ended exactly how you'd think it would.

I still think friends are the best option, but friends seem few and far between. The only friend of mine who wants to find me a girl is half way across the country. I can't just pick up and move due to my job either.

The QT at work turned out to be a complete idiot, rather a good thing I didn't try anything with her. She's dating a guy in another state...maybe I need to broaden my horizons.

Btw, hope you're doing well.
anustart76 said:
I've been looking for a job for months already, it's rough
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It took me years to find a job after school. Finding a job is another job within itself. I was applying 8 hours a day. My only advice is to have two resumes, a pretty one and an ATS friendly one.
anustart76 said:
Dating and job-hunting are basically the same thing now.
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Yeah, and you'll settle in the search of both, and they still won't appreciate you.
 
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