How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[TheRetardKing]

Sure thing. If this shit turns into Final Destination, I want my tombstone to be a dragon dildo.

Status Update: Plane did not go boom boom.

 

[beejams]

snip

There is no frustration I know worse than the feeling of just wanting to be needed, or desired. Being completely unwanted, a total indifference to your existence by everyone. And the absolute lack of this in your life grows resentment and it infects. You internalize that you were always inherently unlovable, in some way that can never be quantified or explained adequately. You foster secret hatred for people you love because something in them isn't broken. They have some intangible spark that you do not. It festers, all this disgusting poison, twisting you, grown out of something as simple as a desire for reciprocal love and affection. Someone who will desire you just as much as you desire them. All joy sucked out of life, everything reminding you of your failure in the only domain that could ever possibly matter. Living this way is not normal. Living this way is hell.

The charlie brown football analogy is very apt. She makes the unfortunate mistake of showing basic courtesy, and wins the opportunity to be the subject of an unending nightmarish obsession, under a slipping mask of cold indifference. Any glimpse of a hope of normality, taken from the crib by the neck and strangled. I've started to think: How is this any different than being a blatant womanizer, with a neurotic twist? How am I any better than the man who brusquely propositions every woman he meets? At least she can reject him and be done with it. Handling women with white gloves, desperately trying to hide myself from them in hopes that they will accept me. It's desperate. It's the strategy of someone who's already accepted that they've lost. And women can smell it.

I wish I could offer advice but all I have to bear is understanding. Best of luck in the new city.

 

[dick brain]

And I'm sure some sigma bros would kick in with "Bruh just hit the gym, make the big bucks and follow god. Than you'll be swarming in it."

I'm not telling you to do those things because they'll get you laid. I'm telling you to do those things because they'll help you build a sense of agency and self-worth -- which is a prerequisite for being in a healthy relationship anyway. You're viewing a relationship as a solution to your unhappiness and that's putting the cart before the horse. To find happiness within yourself is difficult, to find it outside yourself is impossible.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Met a hot, slightly off chick at work. Talked about anime a bit. She seemed moderately interested in me. Asked her if she wanted to get some coffee. She accepted. We were down for it for about a week. Turns out I had work on Easter (the day we were planning to go) in the morning so I asked if she could just move the time up a bit by an hour and a half a couple days before. Said she couldn't do that because she had a "meeting". Asked about dinner. Said she probably couldn't do that either. So things fell through.
Today I asked if she would like to reschedule. She said she'd "have to think about it". When I essentially told her I don't like not knowing where things are with people and tried to get an answer she gave me something about "she's trying to keep her work life and private life separate".
So yeah... I'm done. Coworker tried to cheer me up and tell me she wasn't worth it and how she sucked at her job. And she definitely had some of the annoying type of autistic traits rather than the better (she only liked classical music, hated all modern music and said Inuyasha was pronounced In-a-shu-waa...). But still.

Anime has never been more mainstream. I see "good looking" basic Stacy types post selfies with JJK face filters and shit. In fact, Id almost say anyone advertising or actively wanting to talk about it is a red flag. Gaming and watching anime is so normal basically everyone has done it or can talk about it. Imagine getting a boner over a girl going "Actually.. I like rock music..". I mean, people still would but you get the idea.

Even though we've become accustomed to women being handed the world, they're still insecure and latch onto work and wine for a personality. I can relate in terms of being scared of planning something 2 days down the line despite knowing exactly which hours I'm available, but if you vibe with a person you make fucking do. She was being a pussy and evading you, go figure what kind of mentality this adult has. Especially if she sucks at work. We love a selfless volunteer working extra hours, not a bottom tier office hag. Bullet dodged, but I can relate to the feeling of finally being appealing to someone.

A super unhinged autistic coworker has been trying to set me up with her "dont need no man" bestie whom's brother she's got a kid with. She finally accepts, we talk a lot; she's into star wars but hates the Disney movies. Plays skyrim and stardew, but actually tried morrowind. Yknow, decent and worthwhile. We talk a bunch, she starts conversations, all good. I go "Oh hey, they folk behind Barbie are making a Sims movie. Wonder what theyll do, unable to just redo the same feminist centric story". "UM ACTUALLY THERE'S A LOT OF MOVIES ABOUT MEN...". Aight, red flag, I wait some days and continue the memes and cat pics. No reply since.

I didn't hope for shit and had no actual romantic interest but man, life felt so easy for a moment. Holy shit, just talk to a chick and it might work out? That's how it is, but meeting chicks in the first place is difficult. "Just go where the kind you like hangs out". Aight, nerdy shut-ins. Oh, they're all Twitch streamers or findoms or twitter mommies and shit. This fat 6/10 who is only a 8 to a fat fetishist unironically thinks she's a 10? Well fuck that. I even matched with such a lady; out of her first relationship after 4 years, programmer (broke? somehow?), nerdy. We both liked Borderlands which is rare. "Oh sorry my personality is so dominant haha", diamonds.png. Anyway, I turned down a voice call cause it was fucking 11:45pm and I had work at 6 the next day: Ghosted. Not a word since. She wrote as much of a novel as I did here daily, no issues no struggling. Then nothing, cause I didnt play flute. She probably had 10 other dudes in her DMs so whatever, but it hurts. Knowing you finally get close to escaping this dogshit life of dating apps and having to find community on a lolcow site instead of the other side of the bed.

I'm not telling you to do those things because they'll get you laid. I'm telling you to do those things because they'll help you build a sense of agency and self-worth -- which is a prerequisite for being in a healthy relationship anyway. You're viewing a relationship as a solution to your unhappiness and that's putting the cart before the horse. To find happiness within yourself is difficult, to find it outside yourself is impossible.

"Getting chicks is so easy brah. Just change your entire personality for your own sake to fit specifically into the ideal of being a girl's dream stud". I'm not saying you're wrong but I'd argue joining an actual sports club or just starting running on your own terms is 50 times better. You know, something you can talk about. Get into. Share with others. "I lift weights in a lukewarm building 5 times a week", aight cool bro. I biked 40 miles at 5:45AM on a sunday and saw pheasants, deer, rabbits, almost hit a car and had two cats in heat battling between my wheels yet also completely ignoring the fact I was there. I'm pumping up my monthly Strava numbers and seeing what long journeys I've been on through the map functions.

The whole notion of lifting fixing your life is odd to me. It seems like something the healthy man does almost instinctively and is at complete odds with the loser incel's way of life. It really is the coldest of turkeys to go from a fat gamer to hitting the gym in sweaty at-home wear from 5 years ago. Compare that to biking or running; going out in you own time, your own devices, driven only by yourself, listening only to the labor of your lungs giving out yet looking up and seeing how far out you've come. Even better if it's the summer and you see yellow fields and blue skies like some kind of ukrainian flag. The fact you see hot lean women going to the gym solely to run should say something about their mental state, while the bald father of 3 CEO goes running in dogshit weather without whining.

You want fortitude? Face the elements. Live to tell about it. Drive to a lake and run around it.

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

My stomach has hurt for a week, but I don't want to go to the doctor because I know that's such a vague complaint and it'll just cost me 60 bucks to be told to do what I'm doing anyways.

 

[dick brain]

strawman autism

You sound like a bugman. Resistance training and cardio are not mutually exclusive and if you're neglecting either one you're not healthy. Both foster a sense of agency and self-worth because both directly reward hard work with measurable and plainly visible results, but they're two different kinds of hard work.

You want fortitude? Face the elements. Live to tell about it. Drive to a lake and run around it.

Go lift faggot.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

You sound like a bugman. Resistance training and cardio are not mutually exclusive and if you're neglecting either one you're not healthy. Both foster a sense of agency and self-worth because both directly reward hard work with measurable and plainly visible results, but they're two different kinds of hard work.

View attachment 5871639
Go lift faggot.

We both know the vast majority of gym-go'ers don't do anything else, let alone cardio.

 

[TheRetardKing]

Going back to Alberta today. Sometimes, traveling to new places can make you somewhat homesick.


At least it's not a Boeing plane...

Spoiler

 

[Betonhaus]

Going back to Alberta today. Sometimes, traveling to new places can make you somewhat homesick.
View attachment 5871739

At least it's not a Boeing plane...
View attachment 5871751

Spoiler

View attachment 5871750View attachment 5871761

And you just happened to show up when the weather jumped up ten degrees to something comfy

Lucky you that it isn't a Boeing tho.

 

[Irregardless]

I'm not telling you to do those things because they'll get you laid. I'm telling you to do those things because they'll help you build a sense of agency and self-worth -- which is a prerequisite for being in a healthy relationship anyway. You're viewing a relationship as a solution to your unhappiness and that's putting the cart before the horse. To find happiness within yourself is difficult, to find it outside yourself is impossible.

I don't want to go on too much of a rant, but I want to add to your good advice.

You mention that the person your replying to wanting a relationship to resolve their unhappiness issue is putting the cart before the horse, and while I can agree with you on the terms of a romantic relationship, I think the broader issue is that this person likely has a lack of actual relationships and does indeed need to acquire more relationships of both a deep and varied kind in order to find happiness, and this will in turn also help in the romantic aspect.

There is a common line that I've seen float around the internet recently that goes something like "Humans are social creatures, we need relationships to survive." and I entirely agree with it. I would even go a step further and expound on that idea by saying, relationships are the validating factor that humanizes people and signals to others that someone is worth having a relationship with. People view social confirmation as one of the highest forms of positive bias, in that, if someone has a lot of positive social relationships we assume they are somebody worthy of social relationships, or more specific terms, if a lot of people like somebody, they're probably a likable person. The way this applies to women is that women are visual and social creatures, as while a man might look at a woman alone in a public space and think "Oh wow, she's all alone, maybe she's an introvert who like a lot of attention, maybe I should go talk to her" a woman viewing a man in the same situation might think "There is a guy sitting alone by himself in a public space? Does he not have any friends? That's sort of creepy and I'd rather not take my chances going near him".

I don't want to go on for too long, but life, like many things has a variable state of homeostasis, in that things will often work off of each other, and relationships, especially romantic ones, fall into that state of homeostasis where it is more common to have a positive romantic relationship if you are already somebody with a variety of positive relationships than it is to be somebody with very few positive relationships but one of them is romantic.

 

[eatler]

We both know the vast majority of gym-go'ers don't do anything else, let alone cardio.

I will say this, weight lifting actually has increased how happy I feel about myself and how much I can do pretty easily. I work in a business where I have to lift heavy objects all day (although it’s infrequent so yes I still have to lift). It’s definitely made my life a lot better in general too I mix both long walks (but these go past probably 3-4 miles at a time and also dodging cars) with weight lifting and it’s really shown. I almost have abs if not at least definition so that makes me happy so absolutely eating well and wether it’s getting a home gym (just a couple of weights 10-15 if your starting) and learning some movements can help out. Or if it’s absolutely required going to the gym would work too, I just don’t like gyms myself because they usually have a giant window that faces the outside and I don’t want people watching me exercise. I think it would help our non Jewish friend if he’s looking for some happiness.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

I got the flu. Fever, pain, coughing, everything. Went to the doctor and she prescribed two medications and now I'm on sick leave.
The meds make me sleepy so I'm on bed all day, in and out consciousness. Cat #1 doesn't leave my side for anything and wants to snuggle all the time.
I'm feeling a bit better now, but still not enough to work.

 

[Triple Flutz]

I did my spring cleaning this weekend, and my whole body's been punishing me for it. I'm right in the middle/slightly lower than average of the healthy BMI range, fit, and active, and I keep a very clean house in my day-to-day life, so I'm taken aback- is this just what getting older feels like? All the ''regular'' tasks such as cleaning cupboards and baseboards are done as part of my general upkeep, so this is just from half a day of deep cleaning, I'm not talking about a huge ordeal at all. I'm not even in my mid-30s yet, I feel like even with the sports injuries and toll of having several pregnancies clustered together, this is happening way earlier than it should. Jeez.
Anyway, family life has been treating me well, and I got to see a friend of mine who's had a rough year over the weekend so it was nice to touch base. Our family trip is coming up in a few weeks, and I'm excited to show the kids the ocean and have my husband with us for an entire week. Work will be in shambles without him but it won't be his problem for a bit, I hope he's able to relax- my in-laws are coming with us and my husband's uncle is thinking about joining us (we extended an invitation for the record lol) so it should be fun.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

I carpooled with a friend yesterday to work and as we're headed home, I spotted a new anamamaguchi song playing on his stereo. I pointed this out to him and mentioned loving their albums when I was a teenager and he said something about being really into them. As a result, I've started listening to their third album and the sheer hit of nostalgia was something I wasn't prepared for, especially since I'm not normally like that (my nostalgia is really for my early 20s). Realizing this, I think I'm turning into a boomer. I really hope I don't start going about the good old days soon.

 

[Grundlejungle]

I'm expecting this same feeling when my grandfather finally passes on (he's in the process of speedrunning Jack Scalfani's stroke record, and also has the same inexplicable ability to dodge death despite multiple heart attacks, strokes, and years of drinking like a fish) No one in our family is going to be sad, my mom straight up said that she's going to throw a party when he's gone. But he had tons of friends that somehow think he's a great guy, so I'm expecting people I don't even know to offer condolences to me while I debate telling them that he stole $10,000+ from my immediate family.

Get ready to actually end up hating him more. You really get to know a person when you're sorting through all of their belongings. For example: I always knew my dad was a thief, but I didn't expect that nigger to steal a 15 foot section of curb from someone else's house.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I make an effort to not spend too much time considering how I am doing. It isn't good to be in the habit of inconducive rumination.

Besides, logically it seems like if you lack introspection that's a major bonus when it comes to fitting in, thinking just isn't a socially productive enterprise.

You sound like a bugman. Resistance training and cardio are not mutually exclusive and if you're neglecting either one you're not healthy. Both foster a sense of agency and self-worth because both directly reward hard work with measurable and plainly visible results, but they're two different kinds of hard work.

View attachment 5871639
Go lift faggot.

But if lifting is so great, then why is it that every single person who's really into it on the internet seems to be a complete sperg case?

I've known quite a few runners and bikers that have it together pretty well. Meanwhile I'm not sure if I've met one focused lifter who does. They all range from a little off, to absolute misfits.

Just saying if they're all going to get so defensive about lifting all the time maybe they should consider trying to set a more appealing example.

 

[3D2A]

Call me names, because its probably deserved, but I'm feeling super fuckin aggravated with pussies in the work place. Specifically incompetent managers and childish co-workers.

Long story short - I put in for 2 weeks of vacation around July 4th over 1.5 months ago. It got approved because I did my research and no one else had it off. My equal level colleague requested it off last week and now my boss is asking if I can move my vacation because the other guy "already made plans"..... Bitch, its first come first serve. Not that it's any of my workplaces business, but why the fuck aren't my plans considered?

Sorry for the gay rant but saw this thread and felt like getting it off my chest.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Worse and worse

 

[Betonhaus]

Come to think of it, I'm probably dead inside.

 

[dick brain]

I make an effort to not spend too much time considering how I am doing. It isn't good to be in the habit of inconducive rumination.

Besides, logically it seems like if you lack introspection that's a major bonus when it comes to fitting in, thinking just isn't a socially productive enterprise.


But if lifting is so great, then why is it that every single person who's really into it on the internet seems to be a complete sperg case?

I've known quite a few runners and bikers that have it together pretty well. Meanwhile I'm not sure if I've met one focused lifter who does. They all range from a little off, to absolute misfits.

Just saying if they're all going to get so defensive about lifting all the time maybe they should consider trying to set a more appealing example.

Yeah the first half of your post really instills confidence in the second half.

"Why are lifters so defensive?" he asks, as he emerges from the woodwork to attack lifting. I'd like to point out that I didn't even fucking mention lifting, I responded to the sad boy's own list of healthy behaviors that included lifting, and if he had said running or cycling instead not a single word of my response would have changed, yet you're both out here vilifying an objectively healthy behavior because it's not your favorite.

relationships

This is true. It's a fine line to walk, though; interpersonal relationships are necessary for mental health, but they're not a solution for it, and if you view them as such you're likely to neglect the things that are actually making you unhappy. Not saying you are, but I get the sense that goyboy is.