How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

From working as a cook I got really good at tasting and spitting it out because I couldn't swallow- but this is bizarrely addictive. You feel like you've eaten and it sates me, but I didn't actually eat very much food.

It's frustrating because I can't even find any information on this stuff that doesn't center on anxious anorexic women.
This is actual diagnosable autistic behavior. Also you're most likely causing insulin spikes by telling your body carbs are coming down the pipe and then blueballing yourself, I don't know much about it but it's worth looking into.

I have a retarded family member with a paralyzed throat and for him the final solution was a gastronomy tube, unfortunately. If that's too much you could get a bad dragon horsecock and a bunch of soylent.
 
Really shitty day. Encountered a ton of ban happy jannies and racist assholes going "JAPANESE ONLY" on some sites I went to except KF. Where its expected to be a bit of one for the lolz. Makes me jealous because I wish I could do that in western culture. Yet it feels like there's no place for me in this world that I can help defend and call my culture, without some third party agent provocateur jannie stepping in to undermine me and invalidate the bullshit I just went through. Its not like there were any signs saying "JAPANESE ONLY" on the sites I went to either and I'm aware of that part of Japanese culture.

Though its not like I missed anything of note with the room temp iq "conversation" just shitting on any opinion that differed from whatever narrative a game's marketing department was shilling. Discord is just a ban happy hellhole and the only servers I have never had issues with were with friends. It also sucks to see smaller forums I looked up to as a kid get swallowed up by discord and have the same ban happy reddit jannies running them now with the old guard being complicit in allowing this bullshit to happen. People like that are what's wrong with this world.

Zero problems for most of my life with a forum I was inspired to take up 3D modeling from and suddenly this "johnny come lately" reddit faggot comes in out of nowhere and just doesn't like me. So hands out a permaban and keeps spamming the ban hammer when I come back and call them on it. Then goes back to bemoaning the lack of activity in the community. Total Jannie death.
 
My current love quest seems to be fizziling out which is a bummer, this Friday I will know for sure if I am dead in the water or not.

On the bright side, I got some grade A workplace drama to keep me distracted.
Things have super interesting this week as the world's most bizarre and one sided rivalry between two foreign teachers have turned physical. Tr. A is a weasel SJW who nobody can stand likes to pick fights with Tr. B who is a bodybuilder conservative leaning guy by making rude comments about Tr. B in front of staff and STUDENTS for months. This week he did his usual comments but as they both were leaving the teachers lounge Tr. A escalated things by intentionally sticking his sandwich box in Tr. B's back. So Tr. B pinned him on the couch and threatened to kill him if he keeps up this shit. The witnesses vouched for Tr. B to the admins and said Tr. A started it, so in true Asian style the admins just bury the problem and pretend it never happened to save face even though Tr. A is trying to sue Tr. B now.

Because of the event Tr. A is now the main character of teacher's lounge gossip and people start connecting the dots. For context Tr. A's main hobby and side gig is being a photographer for amateur models and cosplayers usually doing sexy/softcore stuff. Not awful, but this has caused drama in the other school I was at with him because he keeps the photos up on his public instragram under his real name that students can easily find. Lately he has been taking trips to the Philippines and his models have been getting a lot younger, like 10 year old girls in swimsuits young and him posing with random young teen girls at a birthday party he was hired to shoot at there. Now that everyone is talking and digging through his Instagram we have him pinned as a pedo and are threatening to make a public stink about it unless Tr. A drops his lawsuit and the admins fire him. Also an interesting fact, the only guys defending Tr. A and the little girl pictures was the asshole and his buddy that made my job so insufferable that I transfered to their Kindi branch. But they have been taking trips to Cambodia throughout the year so I'm convinced the school has a weird pedo cabal that the admins are refusing to investigate.
 
Stress level is through the roof across-the-board, and I'm trying hard to smack it down and draw on lessons hard-learned rather than falling into historical, damaging tendencies.

Along with work and personal strains on my time/energy, my car decided to lose a jarring amount of steering control last week, so it's going in Monday, and in the meantime I'm both walk/bike-radius-bound and screwed for getting in-office our required weekly days.

In better news, my kids' dad*and I have been working productively and respectfully together with one of our kids, who is struggling. Said kid will be home to me tomorrow for a few days 🙂.

*who is getting married in the next few weeks...third time's the charm.... I offered my sincere congratulations and best wishes. ...so long as he does right by our kids, I begrudge him nothing - and fyi all you guys despairing in your 20s and 30s, he is at retirement age and marrying someone smart, well-educated, and with decades of a good career under her belt, and well over a decade younger than he is...which is his typical pattern, but my point is,
 
A girl thought I was normal enough to walk around holding hands with me today. The "relationship" is a non-starter for numerous reasons but fuck you this is a win for me. Also I'm doing GOMAD now, my bench press has increased and I am finally lifting one (1) plate. I'm starting to get muscle definition in my arms and chest, I have been an underweight stick figure my entire life and this is making me feel so much better about myself.
 
In another 1 month or so, I and my wife will welcome our first child, my mentality has recovering very well, since I become more highly focused, slightly bit more optimistic and laidback, to be more advising and go on, taking doses the therapist requested for me to drink. Recently we just look after our nephew and hanging out with my family. I would not send fucking anything personal because of privacy, as well in June 9 is my birthday so my initial present to myself was probably a new graphic tablet to replace my Huion, which has been my workhorse for 4 years now, but is usable due to my slight anguish over its USB malfunction. I accidentally lost the original Mini USB port for it, and I began contemplating myself. But I managed to found a short Mini-USB port that fits the Huion to a T, which works better than the original port that has been with it for nearly 4 years. I even began to hitting the gym on a daily basis and balancing my diet for my health, as well as getting ready for everything for our first child.

I am still stressed from working, but things are mitigated since I have a family weekend today, even more outside routines and interacting with other people around, especially my family. The same month of my birthday is also going to be the month where I pick up my younger brother and his girlfriend. They will have their stay for a month, as well as cooking with them together at some point, and keeping an eye on my sister for her internship for 4 weeks. Once she has completed her 10 week of internship, I will be photocopying her mockup projects and let her submit it to her college to check through her boss' evaluations to assure she gets a pass to begin her rehearsal for Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics for the intermediate class graduation. Once all is done, she will be having 2 months of graduation break to enroll into a year and a half of college in the evening. Things are going quite smoothly for my life, except the minor stress and some self-deprivation from stress. I missed the northern light, unfortunately, so sad.
 
I’ve got a dry cough and a fever, whenever I cough I get a tight band of headache across my forehead. I woke up in a pool of sweat and I didn’t eat anything yesterday. I’m trying to psych myself up to crawl to the kitchen.
Is it allergies of sickness?
 
Another exciting weekend of doing nothing.
Pickup is loaded with the 'extra' recycling that I can't fit in my weekly can, like metal, to take to the recycle place this week.
Access covers for the garage side of the shower plumbing are painted. Of course it took 2 extra days since I left them outside and the second night got too moist and some of the paint lifted so I had to do half of them again.
One garage shelf upgraded to a larger model, but what was supposed to happen is the old shelf moved elsewhere in the garage and the rolling toolbox back in front of the access covers... whose paint wasn't dry enough to install. So now the old shelf is blocking stuff until I get the access covers put on.

And some of the weeds around the roses have been removed, but I really need to finish fixing the string trimmer to get that all cleaned. Hopefully the roses are happy, dumped some fertilizer on them and turned back on the drip timer since it appears to have stopped raining.

And now, TV watching and shitposting on the Internet.
 
Well, I have a wall of text to share;

I was doom scrolling Twitter during class in high school like a month ago (I am 18 btw don't ban my shit pls jannies) and a classmate saw my username and asked me what my twitter was. I was dismissive and made it pretty clear I didn't want to be friends with him and I guess that ticked him off because he reported my account to school staff.

A lot of what I said was compiled by my school and I got digitalfootprinted. What they were most mad about was that I posted a picture of student watching porn during class and made rape jokes in dms with friends on Twitter. What followed was me getting pulled out of class and handcuffed while taking a quiz and sent to a psychiatric ward for 3 days. I was evaluated a lot during this time and they found nothing wrong with me so I was released. The school then decided to expel me as punishment for making edgy jokes on an anonymous twitter account on the grounds that I was a "threat" to the school despite having no behavioral complications at all before this happened. Despite the administration deliberately saying this matter was supposed to be confidential they later went back on that and "warned" students about me, which included namedropping me to them, for making a rape joke in a dm. What annoyed me the most was the school administration repeatedly trying to gaslight my parents into thinking I was a rapist, nazi, threat, etc..

So I get expelled 4 weeks before graduating, get accused of planning to rape other people, have my story shared by teachers without my consent, falsely labeled a nazi, and lose all of my university acceptances.

I didn't know where to post this, but I think KF was a good place to as it is a website that in its nature revolves around freedom of speech. I'm not sure what will be the full effect of this towards my life, but I think it's best to remain hopeful for the future.
 
Well, I have a wall of text to share;

I was doom scrolling Twitter during class in high school like a month ago (I am 18 btw don't ban my shit pls jannies) and a classmate saw my username and asked me what my twitter was. I was dismissive and made it pretty clear I didn't want to be friends with him and I guess that ticked him off because he reported my account to school staff.

A lot of what I said was compiled by my school and I got digitalfootprinted. What they were most mad about was that I posted a picture of student watching porn during class and made rape jokes in dms with friends on Twitter. What followed was me getting pulled out of class and handcuffed while taking a quiz and sent to a psychiatric ward for 3 days. I was evaluated a lot during this time and they found nothing wrong with me so I was released. The school then decided to expel me as punishment for making edgy jokes on an anonymous twitter account on the grounds that I was a "threat" to the school despite having no behavioral complications at all before this happened. Despite the administration deliberately saying this matter was supposed to be confidential they later went back on that and "warned" students about me, which included namedropping me to them, for making a rape joke in a dm. What annoyed me the most was the school administration repeatedly trying to gaslight my parents into thinking I was a rapist, nazi, threat, etc..

So I get expelled 4 weeks before graduating, get accused of planning to rape other people, have my story shared by teachers without my consent, falsely labeled a nazi, and lose all of my university acceptances.

I didn't know where to post this, but I think KF was a good place to as it is a website that in its nature revolves around freedom of speech. I'm not sure what will be the full effect of this towards my life, but I think it's best to remain hopeful for the future.
Damn, what a joke. They treated you more seriously than a criminal. Well, I hope you are okay, but your perspective for an academic life seems to be pretty bad now. Do you have any plans for other choices?
 
It won't let me directly reply for some reason but to answer your question @Outer Space Traveller I've been thinking about doing community college now. My family is well off and my parents probably wouldn't mind me living with them for more time, and My gpa was perfect for most of my time in high school. Hopefully it shouldn't be too hard to transfer to an actual, good university in the next few years.
 
The doctors have me on so much shit for pain and everything else I feel like it has turned me into a zombie. Like I find myself feeling like there is a veil over my head, anyone know that feeling? Like you're aware but you feel disconnected from life. Got two MRI's tomorrow after work but they are open ones so at least there's that, I hate going to appointments after work when it's health shit, I am so over this lab rat shit.
 
The doctors have me on so much shit for pain and everything else I feel like it has turned me into a zombie. Like I find myself feeling like there is a veil over my head, anyone know that feeling? Like you're aware but you feel disconnected from life. Got two MRI's tomorrow after work but they are open ones so at least there's that, I hate going to appointments after work when it's health shit, I am so over this lab rat shit.
Praying for you, my friend.
 
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