How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

When they say no good deed goes unpunished they weren't fucking kidding. Having a real "tried to do something good and altruistic and now there's a knife in my back" moment, can't really elaborate without powerleveling but it's making me debate how much goodwill I have left in me.
On the other hand the same good deed has lead me to a very positive opportunity that I'm looking forward to starting.
The good news is that my friends always know how to console me in the rough times!
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Edited to add:
@sheepworldvizor I'm very sorry to hear that 😿 It's always such a hard decision to make, but as the vet told me once it is ultimatly one of the kindest things you can do if your pet is suffering. Giving them a good exit can be as important as giving them a good life.
 
Don’t jinx it bro, I don’t want 2 years in a row for my city to be covered in blade runner ambiance.
Where I am, we are having droughts thanks to the El Niño (Can't seem to put the tilde on the n). I hope La Nina makes a comeback soon. As much as Texas gets rainy in El Nino, it's time for him to go.

Also, I've been better. I don't know, things aren't as "hot". Maybe I need some activity. I caught an influenza virus that lasted two weeks and a half.
 
4 beers in and I am listening to Creed. New project is going well, and it's a big one, really really good for my portfolio. My tendinitis is saying hello again but it isn't as bad as the last time. I am happy.

Edit:
Not great. Had to put cat to sleep.
I am so so sorry. I am sure your cat had the greatest life possible by your side, and that your love and care will persist even after your baby is gone.
 
I'm not really sure. I'm conflicted on what I want to do, want to be, etc. Bunch of covid and other stuff absolutely slashed my moving plans, ruined my job, can't get any future employment, can't build my resume because said declines, and so on, so forth.

I'm not in despair over my life, strangely enough. I'm simply existing in some void. It will probably be a while until the gravity of the situation really settles emotionally on me.
 
I keep going back and forth between feeling extremely anxious and feeling like "eh whatever, everything will be fine" and I don't know how to keep the anxiety away. It's worst during work and late at night. I really wish I could just find a new job, this stress is killing me. Sure, I could just take the demotion, but then my resume is going to be fucked for the future. And if I just quit, well, nobody wants to hire someone who doesn't already have a job.
I'm also taking the GRE later this week, so I hope that goes well, although it's probably too late to apply for Masters programs for the fall.
 
4 beers in and I am listening to Creed. New project is going well, and it's a big one, really really good for my portfolio. My tendinitis is saying hello again but it isn't as bad as the last time. I am happy.

Edit:

I am so so sorry. I am sure your cat had the greatest life possible by your side, and that your love and care will persist even after your baby is gone.
Thanks. He totally did. Awesome cat, just 10/10.
Good luck with the new project.
 
I've been visiting this site religiously for a long time, but I feel like I can't muster up a chuckle towards some of the lolcows here anymore. I wish they would stop doing the shit they do instead of complaining about this site's existence like every other person in power does. Perhaps I'd rather just be vaporized by nuclear war than endure another day in clown world. I'm so tired, Kiwis.
 
For the first time in 5 years, I'm starting to get re-interested in things I used to like. Video games,manga and anime, bass playing and programming along with math and science. The only thing that sucks is that puts me in a niche socual group and school is out for the summer (for undergrads) so I'm mostly just doing research and doing my hobbies by myself. Still, it's nice to have renewed interest in things I've lost when my depression went from whistful melencholy to weapons-grade dysthymia.


I keep going back and forth between feeling extremely anxious and feeling like "eh whatever, everything will be fine" and I don't know how to keep the anxiety away. It's worst during work and late at night. I really wish I could just find a new job, this stress is killing me. Sure, I could just take the demotion, but then my resume is going to be fucked for the future. And if I just quit, well, nobody wants to hire someone who doesn't already have a job.
I'm also taking the GRE later this week, so I hope that goes well, although it's probably too late to apply for Masters programs for the fall.
I say this without an ounce of irony: drink a little beer or some lighter alcohol in the morning. It's not so much to get drunk or tipsy even but to suppress a lot of the negative emotions and overthinking I do. I recommend like 1-2 cans. A lot of my stress and anxiety in my life is the result of overthinking things.


I can understand if you are a teetotaller or have a bad past/family historywith alcohol because it can be easily abused. I don't judge people based on that, but I'm just sharing what works for me to stop worrying as much. It probably helped me get out of this half a decade long funk that I've been living under.
 
I got a meeting with a potential employer. From my brief interaction with him it isn’t an interview, but probably a screening. Even still I’m really nervous about it even though in the grand scheme of things, my life won’t change immediately. I can’t seem to reassure myself that everything will be fine.

Edit: Meeting with well, the place seems kinda chill. It isn’t a big company so not too demanding.
 
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