How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Im also seeing alot more boats, RVs and classic cars for sale so I’m wondering if that’s a sign of things to come.
3 years ago you couldnt find a truck to save your life, now the salesman will do anything to get you to leave with one. I got offered $6000 over what I was expecting for trade in.
 
Oh yeah I did get an email back from the school bus job and I start the next stage of training on Monday. So that's hopefully a little more income followed by an actual job. I might hear back from one of the others jobs but I'm unsure. I'm worried I'll make the wrong choice again if given options.

Also I should check my lottery tickets, I rarely won anything more then a free play but for some reason they seem to help in some intangible emotional way, like I bought a Japanese good luck talisman or something. Maybe I should save money and buy a real talisman, they probably last longer.
 
Oh yeah I did get an email back from the school bus job and I start the next stage of training on Monday. So that's hopefully a little more income followed by an actual job. I might hear back from one of the others jobs but I'm unsure. I'm worried I'll make the wrong choice again if given options.

Also I should check my lottery tickets, I rarely won anything more then a free play but for some reason they seem to help in some intangible emotional way, like I bought a Japanese good luck talisman or something. Maybe I should save money and buy a real talisman, they probably last longer.
Congrats on the job, lad. Make the best of it for as long as you need to. And while you should always try to upgrade to something better, don't worry about "making the wrong choice"; now that you have something going, it's fine to stumble a little so long as you don't lose the ground you've gained. And even if you do, don't be so hard on yourself.

But don't waste money on gambling, or superstition. It's useless. Whatever psychological comfort it may give you is false, and offset by the stress caused by taking away money you need during what, I gather, is an extended financially difficult time for you. If you must, spend it on something that gives you real lasting satisfaction, but don't, uh, microdose the Bossman Jack lifestyle.
 
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I really try to avoid spilling my spaghet all over the farms but I’m all fucked up lately. I think I need actual professional help but somehow sitting down with some african immigrant asking my pronouns while pretending to give a shit about my problems doesn’t seem like it’ll improve things. And that’s not some /pol/ bullshit talking, that’s literally what happened last time I tried to get help and it put me off ever trying again.

So I‘ve tried very hard to just stubbornly change my outlook, with some success, but life is kicking my ass. I need to get out of this shithole, I think. But it’s hard to leave the shithole where I have a good job (the benefits are great, working exclusively with retarded sheboons is not) and an affordable place to live. I really miss my cat. I’m tired. Don’t ever move to the city.

Nah the therapy system is basically how you describe it. I know someone close who dose the therapy classes and I think the only things they tell her is to pick out offensive things in conversations, learn the terminology so you can throw buzzwords at a person you’re arguing with and reaffirming pronouns and other assorted goy. Instead of the usual “hey maybe actually loose some weight and you will feel better about yourself” “hey when you shave half of your head it’s going to deter a lot of people, that’s okay but it’s just a consequence of that” they don’t actually fix anything and keep offering “classes”.
Therapy is designed for women to feel understood and validated. If you have the time and money to see a therapist you could be spending those on ways to improve your life and help feel less connected to your problems. There are things you may need to talk through in a private space but that requires a good therapist and most social workers are now DEI hires because even a chimp can nod and say "Huh deed dat mark yuu feeluh"
 
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Is this the part where you tell me you used a harbor freight knife? We got my grandfather one of the 15 bucks ones because they screwed up the 10 dollar ones (they got rid of the serrated teeth and the grip is worse) and immediately he cuts himself exactly how you describe. He actually tried walking it off until we brought him to the hospital (he’s on meds so he doesn’t heal right). This was a month ago.
Pretty close. I'm not sure why I didn't go grab one of my decent knives, but this blade also had no serrated teeth. Unlodged itself, and since I was still pushing forward with a lot of force, I was pretty much full on stabbing myself in the thumb. No idea how I was unlucky enough to catch myself under the thumbnail like that. Sorry to hear he shared a similar experience. I made the mistake of introducing my Dad to Harbor Freight and I even specified, "this place is great if you just need some rags for the garage, containers, anything that doesn't have a point of failure. Please don't buy their tools, there's a reason that tiller is so cheap." Naturally he goes and buys a ton of their tools and goes to get replacements from them when they break. He's pretty hard to shop for on birthdays and Christmas, so thankfully now I just get him quality versions of those items in hopes that he'll quit going back.
 
Lately I had been working, off and on, on some more serious writing, instead of upping my output of Amazon Kindle erotica crap. It's been going well in spots and not so well in others.

Anyhow, today I got word that a story of mine has been picked up to run in an actual, respectable literary publication. So that feels... validating. (Yes, I am using a different pen name for writing that doesn't include the word 'smouldering' and vampires.)

I have been thinking that if I could get a few more things published, I might be able to get some interest in a manuscript for a YA novel that's been gently aging on a shelf. It needs reworked in spots but I haven't felt willing to rework it if I'm not going to try and send out sample chapters etc.
 
Still stuck up at grandmas. Don't get me wrong, it's fine here. But I've been up here since yesterday morning. I'm sick and I hurt, I want to go home. But mom doesn't want us home. I'm sure she'll let my brother and I come back eventually, but I don't exactly do well away from my own dwelling, which is something I desperately need to work on if I'm going to be a real functioning adult person one day, but I digress. I want to be sick in my own house with my own stuff. With my own cats. And what of the cats, has she fed them?

I feel really out of sorts and depressed right now. I hate everything. I'm so fucking tired.
 
some african immigrant asking my pronouns while pretending to give a shit about my problems
That sounds thoroughly corrupt.

It's a shame because therapy can or should be a force for good. But I suppose finding a good therapist or psychiatrist is like trying out new restaurants.
The african mindset is completely different from the non-african
I'd wager it's a culture thing.

This entire thread is a giant power level so I'm just adding to it by saying that my birth mother is African (so is my dad presumably) , thus I've been exposed to many a black person in life.

A lot of them suck and that's because we all live in a country that's not compatible with their cultures. If they get raised here like I was, they are decent.

Not perfect. A handful of them seemed to think that all Africans could coalesce into a great negro hivenind where we band together as minorities or some shit.

If not, it's difficult to teach them that beating your kids is not a suitable form of parenting.

Anyway I've fallen back into the habit of staying up way too late. God help me
 
If they get raised here like I was, they are decent.
They really aren't distinguishable from natives if they were born/raised here and no islam is involved. Much like the viets really, though the viets are going even harder when it comes to fitting in (traditional german first names, not teaching the kids their native language). I haven't had contact with many africans in my life but i also have never had beef with any, something i can't say about turks and arabs. Immigrant africans also self-segregate to the point that you almost never see them outside of black barbershops, afro beauty shops, black churches and other african-owned establishments when out in town. Almost Jim Crow levels of segregation.
If not, it's difficult to teach them that beating your kids is not a suitable form of parenting.
To loosely quote afro-french comedian Fary "You know how some people don't get the concept of an inside- and an outside voice? African parents are like that, but with beatings". I heard horror stories about how african parents "discipline" their kids, it's always straight to corporal punishment, to absurd levels.

God, the crazy arab and his wife on the third floor are at it again. He's shouting at her like a mad man, open window, and you can hear him losing his mind in the whole street. He has been at it for years, legit something wrong with his mind. Drives me crazy. It's 10 in the morning for fuck's sake.

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A handful of them seemed to think that all Africans could coalesce into a great negro hivenind where we band together as minorities or some shit.
Yeah, not gonna work. Much like asians, africans beef relentlessly with other africans, sometimes even africans from the same country, the tribal shit goes deep. Had a kenyan colleague once who told me he's from tribe ABC and his tribe hates tribe XYZ and they can spot if they're from the other tribe by the way how that tribe eats their rice, they form it differently before putting it in their mouth. Wignats could learn from their kind of petty hatred :story:
Another girl i met, half black GI kid, told me how she hates other blacks and only plays up the black angle when she's buying weed from africans in the park, like "Come on, brother! That's not enough! We all black, how can you do this to me?"
 
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Had a mental breakdown for the first time in 10 years or so and am still dealing with the mental aftermath so to speak.

It's like my brain went "hey champ, remember how absolutely miserable and disgusted you were with yourself last time this happened? How about another one"
 
Immigrant africans also self-segregate to the point that you almost never see them outside of black barbershops, afro beauty shops, black churches and other african-owned establishments when out in town. Almost Jim Crow levels of segregation.
Really! My birth mom did this to absurd degrees. But having white men as fuckbuddies was the only time she mingled with anyone outside her own race.

Weirdly she also hated white men but not when she bedded them.

Ironically her actions proved to me how important integration was and how it's important to be wary of race supremacy like critical race theory and "white privilege" and other such bullshit.

And generally, I don't like the idea of hanging out with other blacks because almost always they only latch onto me because "OMG ANOTHER BLACK PERSON. WHY DON'T YOU CELEBRATE YOUR HERITAGE?"

See bellow.
I heard horror stories about how african parents "discipline" their kids, it's always straight to corporal punishment, to absurd levels.
I can attest to this. It was a bit...rough on the soul. It's extra malicious when you consider a lot of them are fully aware that it's illegal - yet they do it anyway.
Had a kenyan colleague once who told me he's from tribe ABC and his tribe hates tribe XYZ and they can spot if they're from the other tribe by the way how that tribe eats their rice, they form it differently before putting it in their mouth. Wignats could learn from their kind of petty hatred
Yeah, that's the thing. A lot of African countries don't operate through nationalities but tribes. It's exactly the reason why South Sudan is currently such a slaughterhouse, why Rwanda had that infamous genocide, why my mother's country, Liberia, has coups and civil wars and corruption everywhere.

Also my birth mother has told me about similar rice horror stories too. Since Liberia is a country where women are second-class citizens and rape is as common as cloudy weather in England, the man has his own plate of rice and his wives have to share theirs with the kiddies. All sticking their fingers down.

(Yes, wives. Her brother has 7 of them)

My birth mother did almost impose some form of that onto me, by trying to lure me into sharing spoons. I stubbornly got a new spoon always when she wasn't looking because fuck that.

God, the crazy arab and his wife on the third floor are at it again. He's shouting at her like a mad man, open window, and you can hear him losing his mind in the whole street. He has been at it for years, legit something wrong with his mind. Drives me crazy. It's 10 in the morning for fuck's sake.
God, that's like my neighbor at night. She no longer peeps through my windows but she has begun screaming and freaking out in her yard, rambling and taping more random shit on the walls.
 
My birth mother did almost impose some form of that onto me, by trying to lure me into sharing spoons. I stubbornly got a new spoon always when she wasn't looking because fuck that
Are these metaphorical spoons or literal spoons? Or innuendo spoons?
 
They really aren't distinguishable from natives if they were born/raised here and no islam is involved. Much like the viets really, though the viets are going even harder when it comes to fitting in (traditional german first names, not teaching the kids their native language). I haven't had contact with many africans in my life but i also have never had beef with any, something i can't say about turks and arabs. Immigrant africans also self-segregate to the point that you almost never see them outside of black barbershops, afro beauty shops, black churches and other african-owned establishments when out in town. Almost Jim Crow levels of segregation.
Are you blind? If you can't tell your native population to the foreigners you're a traitor to your own people. I'm starting to think you're not all feline if you know what I mean.
Had a mental breakdown for the first time in 10 years or so and am still dealing with the mental aftermath so to speak.

It's like my brain went "hey champ, remember how absolutely miserable and disgusted you were with yourself last time this happened? How about another one"
Do you know what caused it? Is there any way to fix the issues?
 
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Do you know what caused it? Is there any way to fix the issues?
I assume it was a combo of a not being taken serious and building stress from a stressful, physically demanding job that left me with injuries almost every week.

I quit that job, folks please be careful working in a kitchen for big meal companies were the boss is always "looking for more people" and also telling you "there are hoardes of people wanting to work here"
 
Update about my Mum's garden - planters arrived today to replace what's damaged and me my sister, mum and some other family have been replacing them and my Mason friend has taken away the Stand Stone Horse Trough it can be repaired but it will not be a nice repair so my mums said we will just turn it around so the damaged part's hidden - tough old bird my mum.

Police update didn't happen yesterday as expected but today - they have interviewed him and taken his side of things and I was given the impression they are less than impressed and are talking to the CPS so I expect some form of charge / arrest will be happening but they cant give me details.

On another note I was rooting around the Garage an mine an my dad's workshop looking for some pop rivets to fix something the cunt didn't damage but found during cleanup and I found this old tool box my dad used to carry when I was a kid on certain jobs and I never saw inside it but there was pictures of me, my mum and my sister an him taped an glued to the inside there was a few other nice things inside but honestly this was a suprise find and mum, my sister an me have been looking at it for hours an talking about the good times.

3 years ago you couldnt find a truck to save your life, now the salesman will do anything to get you to leave with one. I got offered $6000 over what I was expecting for trade in.

Van's and anything with a Ball hitch where super hot in the UK during Covid like legitimately absurd pries where offered an demanded for them - but in the last 2 or 3 years the price was tending down but in the last 2 - 3 months the arse has fallen out the market an people are asking silly low prices for trailers my Mrs wanted another Horse Box last week for kitting out as a mobile large animal practice and was shocked to see how cheap even brand new ones where selling for let alone used - I've not looked at the boat situation but thats always a regional thing in the UK.

One thing I will say is though if your into spendy hobbies that got popular during COVID lots of people who bought stuff an got bored or don't have the time any more are dumping new or nearly new kit at deep discounts, I cant tell right now if that's because of market saturation or something else but honestly I am getting my hands on premium quality modern tools an materials right now for buttons essentially.
 
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