How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Just find out some rather simple idea I had for a site that I thought was too dumb to actually work got funded and exists now.

Granted those guys got like $3MM to do it while I was alone and kinda broke ATT. Also its private so they don't say if they're actually making any money, just "revenue", plus I can hardly find them in the news so no idea if its actually popular or just smoke and mirrors.

Still it would suck if that was my one chance to make it big.
 
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I keep seeing office gigs I feel qualified for, but never get replies on. Fine whatever, eventually I'll get one, surely.. I don't even know what I'm lacking other than years on the resume. If you told me to do a 3 month course to up-qualify for, I wouldn't know what.

I hear people say "duh you need education for jobs", but I got a master's and general youthful IT know-how, which is more than most ask for. Fucking.. just doom. On all fronts. I'm fine just working and applying if I eventually get an offer, but my job isn't office adjacent, so gathering experience here don't help much.

The hole just gets deeper.
 
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I quit my job, and it wasn't an easy decision, and it's still making me feel a little terrible, honestly.
Wish me luck with finding a new job.

In the downtime I have now, I finally worked my way back into some hobbies I've been neglecting. Feels good to see progress and spend time on something I really enjoy doing.
 
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It's an odd, contradictory time.
The positive.
- My creative spark for drawing and writing is flowing like milk which is nice.

- I got a bunch of games that I enjoy. Some free, some not but they were on sale.

- The changes to my diet have been paying off. The weight is dropping off which is nice. Getting complimented about it is a double-edged sword because I get super flustered.

- I got a new SSD card for my laptop. It's currently at 512GB but I'm pushing it to 1TB.

- The summer is finally gone. Thank god.

The negative.
- My therapy group has been terminated because one therapist quit, the other one got a new job. That's stupidly stressful because the lot of us are just floating around in limbo and I am one of those autists who like clarity for shit like that.

- Stupid private-funded public transit decided to ax anywhere from 12 to 62% of routes to make sure that the buses mostly drive when everyone is packed like sardines without regard for parents with strollers, the disabled, and the elderly. Meanwhile, the largest city gets more routes...which it didn't even need. It's so irritating because the city I was interested in moving to got cut off from the larger towns in this area for some retarded reason. Ugh.

- I had a phone call with someone which left me emotional for all the wrong reasons. It was a nice, pleasant easy-going conversation but I feel awful afterward and it's 100% my shit mental

- Got burned out of another job because I'm not the right autist for them.
 
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I live only to chain smoke.
if I can't chain smoke, I become threatening, impulsive and even more racist than baseline default.
I don't want to quit, and nobody else wants me to either, because whenever I try people start using terms like "latent psychopathy" and "personality disorder", which is rude, and can earn a cuff round the ear.
I don't want help, I just want to be helpful.
But the people I try to help can't help themselves, and I feel like Sisyphus in hell.
Never help anybody.
 
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Obstacle said:
I live only to chain smoke.
if I can't chain smoke, I become threatening, impulsive and even more racist than baseline default.
I don't want to quit, and nobody else wants me to either, because whenever I try people start using terms like "latent psychopathy" and "personality disorder", which is rude, and can earn a cuff round the ear.
I don't want help, I just want to be helpful.
But the people I try to help can't help themselves, and I feel like Sisyphus in hell.
Never help anybody.
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I'm coming up on 6 months of no smoking, quit cold turkey, no cessation aids, vapes, patches, gum - nada.

I still to this day have dreams about smoking cigs. The feeling. The high. The relaxation. The 'celebratory' cig, the 'ruminatory' cig, the 'stressed as fuck' cig, all of it. I miss it almost every day.

I don't have an answer man, I'm just one guy.
 
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Flavius Claudius Julianus said:
I'm coming up on 6 months of no smoking, quit cold turkey, no cessation aids, vapes, patches, gum - nada.

I still to this day have dreams about smoking cigs. The feeling. The high. The relaxation. The 'celebratory' cig, the 'ruminatory' cig, the 'stressed as fuck' cig, all of it. I miss it almost every day.

I don't have an answer man, I'm just one guy.
Click to expand...
Sometimes there are no answers, my dude.
Good on you for six months.
 
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Well I had a nightmare about the job I'm about to start so that was swell. Just the usual of realizing that I hadn't been doing the task assigned to me for a while.

Orientation starts tomorrow, I thought the rest of the crew was at the hotel they put me up in so I just had to show up at the lobby at a certain time and get ushered where I needed to go, but that's not the case so looks like I'll be meeting them at the site. I don't get prompt responses to my texts but i reviewed the key points of where I need to go and I'm sure I'll get an answer to my questions in time. The impression I get is the company isn't really on the ball about things related to new hires like me so I'm worried something got missed like they left my uniforms behind or something.
 
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Checked my bank account yesterday and saw that my electricity provider sent me a high three digit € sum. Thinking this must surely be an error i called them up, let them check and double check if everything is in order, if any payments need to be made etc. because if anyone jewed me in the past couple of years it was them. They changed the ancient, analog meters with modern, digital ones last year and realized i overpayed like a motherfucker from last year to now. Which i already told them about before because it's simply impossible for a 1-person household to pay 81€ per month, no matter if we got the most expensive electricity in Europe, that's grow operation levels of electricity consumption. Gave girlfriend half of it, gonna buy some shit on Amazon i've been putting off since forever (nothing expensive, just some cables and maybe new headphones) and am most likely set for winter clothing, my current winter jacket is basically rags. I'm happy about that money coming in but i definitely would've been much happier about it five years ago when inflation wasn't this rampant.
DenseDeerFather said:
It's an odd, contradictory time.
The positive.
- My creative spark for drawing and writing is flowing like milk which is nice.

- I got a bunch of games that I enjoy. Some free, some not but they were on sale.

- The changes to my diet have been paying off. The weight is dropping off which is nice. Getting complimented about it is a double-edged sword because I get super flustered.

- I got a new SSD card for my laptop. It's currently at 512GB but I'm pushing it to 1TB.

- The summer is finally gone. Thank god.

The negative.
- My therapy group has been terminated because one therapist quit, the other one got a new job. That's stupidly stressful because the lot of us are just floating around in limbo and I am one of those autists who like clarity for shit like that.

- Stupid private-funded public transit decided to ax anywhere from 12 to 62% of routes to make sure that the buses mostly drive when everyone is packed like sardines without regard for parents with strollers, the disabled, and the elderly. Meanwhile, the largest city gets more routes...which it didn't even need. It's so irritating because the city I was interested in moving to got cut off from the larger towns in this area for some retarded reason. Ugh.

- I had a phone call with someone which left me emotional for all the wrong reasons. It was a nice, pleasant easy-going conversation but I feel awful afterward and it's 100% my shit mental

- Got burned out of another job because I'm not the right autist for them.
Click to expand...
Hey, haven't seen you post here in a while, doesn't seem like it is going too bad for you, that's good to hear. The therapy group thing is of course bullshit, would've been the same here because there is simply not enough qualified personel around for that sector to carry the sheer brunt of patients in need, which only got worse during and after COVID. There's some bullshit with public transit/busses happening here, too. They are now pushing for removing time tables entirely and rather go for something they call a "pulsing"/"surging" model where more busses come when they're available. In a city of ~4 million. I don't know who came up with this idiocy but i personally want to shoot them.
 
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Mesh Gear Fox said:
Nah, I just don't like the heat. Never have.
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You and me both. This week, the final breaths of summer decided to shoot to 30 degrees celsius which is hell on earth. I can't even begin to imagine the torture of other countries where it's 30 at night.
The Feline Solution said:
Hey, haven't seen you post here in a while, doesn't seem like it is going too bad for you, that's good to hear. The therapy group thing is of course bullshit, would've been the same here because there is simply not enough qualified personel around for that sector to carry the sheer brunt of patients in need, which only got worse during and after COVID
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Yo.
Yeah it's been a curious time. The qualification issue is a massive problem across all aspects of healthcare. We have public healthcare but it's been underfunded so more people decide to go private for better pay and working conditions.

There've been massive nurse strikes, lots of outrages regarding eldercare being neglected stupid long wait times for mental health care, surgeries, even cancer treatment in some cases, the whole nine yards.
The Feline Solution said:
There's some bullshit with public transit/busses happening here, too. They are now pushing for removing time tables entirely and rather go for something they call a "pulsing"/"surging" model where more busses come when they're available. In a city of ~4 million. I don't know who came up with this idiocy but i personally want to shoot them.
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That sounds positively retarded.

Here, the public transit people are like "Order one of our special taxis" but the issue is that they are more expensive, the ride time is left to circumstance because there's a chance you have to do a massive route because others need to be picked up, and you have to order them two hours in advance. So you're kinda fucked if you lived somewhere that got its busses axes and can't get to work unless you order those stupid taxis and risk being late to work because the driver had to pick up 5 other assholes.

The stupidity of all this is that they, as well as the government, want people to stop using cars and use public transit - while making it increasingly difficult and unappealing to use public transit.

I want to bite the ankles of whoever thought any of this was a good idea. Climate change mitigation, my ass.
Foltest said:
Looking for jobs is soulcrushing.
I have a degree in a filed that is in high demand, but because the stupid jobmarket are always looking for seniors, I can't find any entry jobs!
I hate this.
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It's really crazy. Employers are weirdly picky. You better have a degree but not a degree that's too high or you are overqualified and we don't want to hire you. And you better be old but not too old and you better be young but not too young and you better not have kids.

It would be perfect if you were 28 and had 39 years of experience but not a master's degree. Hyperbolic but you get my point.
 
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A children's librarian I know is accused of stealing (?) from a homeless (!) relative
The homeless person emailed all the library contact addresses with this accusation
The library is trying to shut it down
Library director's email only led to more homeless outbursts
Including a threat to make a documentary (?) about the alleged thief
Homeless person has also contacted this librarian's church and added them to the email chain
Parks & Rec was right always avoid the town library


I don't even know
Specific Accusations
 
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LibraryFit4310 said:
A children's librarian I know is accused of stealing (?) from a homeless (!) relative
The homeless person emailed all the library contact addresses with this accusation
The library is trying to shut it down
Library director's email only led to more homeless outbursts
Including a threat to make a documentary (?) about the alleged thief
Homeless person has also contacted this librarian's church and added them to the email chain
Parks & Rec was right always avoid the town library


I don't even know
Specific Accusations
Click to expand...
Two things:
1.) What
2.) You can directly upload images here and Imgur is not a good website.
 
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LibraryFit4310 said:
A children's librarian I know is accused of stealing (?) from a homeless (!) relative
The homeless person emailed all the library contact addresses with this accusation
The library is trying to shut it down
Library director's email only led to more homeless outbursts
Including a threat to make a documentary (?) about the alleged thief
Homeless person has also contacted this librarian's church and added them to the email chain
Parks & Rec was right always avoid the town library


I don't even know
Specific Accusations
Click to expand...

So are you the bum, maybe trying to get the attention of famous swatting web site Kiwi Farms and dropping breadcrumbs for us to follow to her employer? Bums don't deserve anything, they should be all sent to the richest Hollywood suburbs where cops rouse them from block to block endlessly like the schismatics in Dante's Inferno.
 
LibraryFit4310 said:
A children's librarian I know is accused of stealing (?) from a homeless (!) relative
The homeless person emailed all the library contact addresses with this accusation
The library is trying to shut it down
Library director's email only led to more homeless outbursts
Including a threat to make a documentary (?) about the alleged thief
Homeless person has also contacted this librarian's church and added them to the email chain
Parks & Rec was right always avoid the town library


I don't even know
Specific Accusations
Click to expand...
Is this someone's aunty trying to get a personal army?
 
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Flavius Claudius Julianus said:
I still to this day have dreams about smoking cigs. The feeling. The high. The relaxation. The 'celebratory' cig, the 'ruminatory' cig, the 'stressed as fuck' cig, all of it. I miss it almost every day.
Click to expand...
I'm a recovering alcoholic and I have frequent dreams about drinking. Like, at least 2 or 3 times a week. Guys in my AA group with decades of sobriety still get them. It is common and you are not alone.
 
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