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What on earth could you have possibly done to instigate this sort of behavior from her?
I was part of the CIA niggers and she caught me glowing in the dark.

Kidding aside, I sometimes walk past her door when I'm going out or taking out the trash and she tends to stick her head out every time she hears someone. She heard me, saw me and thought "Oooo fresh meat to schizo jazz at", said some delulu blabber and has been crawling on the walls ever since.

My other crime is living next to her. In fact I'm the only person living next to her. I don't know about you but that probably broke some part of the Geneva Convention.
 
Imagine if they had actually gotten to her.
There were two schizos on my floor in the ghetto apartment, one man, down the hall, one lady closer by. The man was a convicted child molester that worked at McDonalds and used to dangle himself out of his 5th story window for fun. He once left his chirping smoke alarm on his windowsill for weeks, where the way the building was shaped amplified it for all to hear, until it finally died (astonishingly, he was white.) He also never turned his lights on.

The lady was the angriest woman I have ever seen. She’d menace anyone who happened to be walking down the hall at the same time as her, screaming, threatening, spitting mad with accusations that made no sense. It got to the point where I wouldn’t leave the apartment unless I knew for sure she wasn’t out there. She got on a tear one day and beat the shit out of the old steel mailboxes set into the wall in the lobby with her bare hands and broke most of the doors off. She also somehow retained custody of her 10-ish year old daughter and would scream rant non-stop at the child about how God wasn’t real. She, too, had a vacant apartment next to her. And directly across from her.

What I’m trying to say is, you seem like a genuinely sweet person, but schizophrenia is irrational and terrifying. They will decide you are the enemy for no discernible reason, and they are dangerously unpredictable. She might seem terribly annoying but harmless, but that can turn on a dime if her delusions get into the wrong twist that day. Stay safe, keep documenting/reporting, possibly arm yourself.

Also, if your building is anything like my old one, they might not want to boot her. Fairly certain mine was double dipping and getting money from daddy government and the halfway house that was supposed to be housing them both there instead of a normal apartment.

I curse the gov’t for shutting down the asylums. I cherish the day I moved out of that neighborhood.
 
Fucking insomnia

Past couple of nights I've been popping benadryls to try and fall asleep and stay asleep hard enough to get up at a reasonable time in the morning, and it's still failing.

My mom got me a heated throw blanket and I've been laying on it.

She has no idea what she just did to me, that buffoon...! I'm too comfy! How am I gonna get out of bed now?! She helped me put some pain patches on for my injury earlier too and I haven't gotten up like all day! What the hell was she thinking?!

I can't even move! I need to pee!!

A heated blanket is both a blessing and a curse in that way, truly. I have one too and it's so cozy and wonderful.
 
Fucking insomnia
Past couple of nights I've been popping benadryls to try and fall asleep and stay asleep hard enough to get up at a reasonable time in the morning, and it's still failing.
I and almost everyone I speak to have also been having trouble, the urge to blame daylight savings is waning because it's inconsistent.
 
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What I’m trying to say is, you seem like a genuinely sweet person, but schizophrenia is irrational and terrifying. They will decide you are the enemy for no discernible reason, and they are dangerously unpredictable. She might seem terribly annoying but harmless, but that can turn on a dime if her delusions get into the wrong twist that day. Stay safe, keep documenting/reporting, possibly arm yourself.
That is the thing. She's super unpredictable as there's no pattern to her behavior or when she does it. And that only adds to the anxiety about the whole situation. I may live in a country with strict gun laws but I have a big fuck-you knife that will cut bitches instead of onions if need be.

Man being schizo sounds like such a nightmare if you're not in treatment. I doubt this lady is and weed is not antipsychotic meds.

Anyway sent another noise complaint today, with audio, because she decided to do the stomp dance with thick leather boots to a garbage EDM version of The Sound of Silence. This woman is at least 45.

However, it seems that everyone else has gotten absolutely sick of her shit too because some guy came over and angrily confronted her about the loud as-shit music and she went into hiding in her little bog hag cave. That felt super good.

Anyway, I swear I will find something else to talk about because I'm getting a little bit exhausted over dealing with this but I will not stop until she's either being wrangled by the loony bin or kicked to the curb.

Also the store had vegan desserts on sale and I am not a vegan but it actually tasted good. Chocolate-coconut, which says a lot because I don't like coconut. Same with their lemon cheesecake pudding. That shit was good.
 
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Past couple of nights I've been popping benadryls to try and fall asleep and stay asleep hard enough to get up at a reasonable time in the morning, and it's still failing.
I and almost everyone I speak to have also been having trouble, the urge to blame daylight savings is waning because it's inconsistent.
My sleeping has always been shit since I was a child so I gave up already. Many things I have tried always failed. When I rarely sleep, it's always in inconvenient places
 
I feel like garbage and that my life is simultaneously becoming mediocre or just straight falling apart. I've been losing weight, going to the gym and eating healthy. I had a good day at my current job, but my boyfriend cheated on me. I might be pregnant and I can't find another job. Not even something like a help desk that I got certified for.

Im trying to keep positive but it feels so draining. I'm too tired to do anything I enjoy doing and end up laying in bed for hours or just watching TV and trying not to think about it.
 
i had this weird 3-week tummy flu thru jan-feb and lost a lot of weight but i recovered, but now tunmy ache and yuck is back and i lost like 15-20 lbs in... a few weeks? chat should i see a doctor

Seeing a doctor probably wouldn't hurt. I looked up your symptoms, and you might have something called Gastroenteritis


Symptoms:
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhea
You might also experience:
  • Nausea
  • Fever
  • Stomach cramps
  • Exhaustion

It might be a parasite/virus/bacteria that causes these symptoms. Apparently, it shouldn't take that long to go away.





Or you might have something called post-infectious IBS.

In that case, you might have the Norovirus or you got hit with E. Coli or Salmonela

Symptoms:
  • Abdominal cramping.
  • Diarrhea.
  • Nausea.
  • In some cases, constipation.

Usually, it only lasts for days, but it could last for up to months or sometimes a year. Although, if you don't have a chronic condition like ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease, then it should ultimately go away.

It's recommended that you change up your diet to a low-FODMAP diet (No Lactose, No Fruits, No Green/cruciferous Vegetables, No Legumes and No Sugar Substitutes that are found in sugarless gum and candies (honey and maple syrup seem to be fine)) If you experience IBS Symptoms.

Also make sure you properly cook your meat.


Hope this helps!

ETA: those were my searches: "tummy flu losing weight" and "recccuring tummy flu massive weight loss"
 
It's recommended that you change up your diet to a low-FODMAP diet (No Lactose, No Fruits, No Green/cruciferous Vegetables, No Legumes and No Sugar Substitutes that are found in sugarless gum and candies (honey and maple syrup seem to be fine)) If you experience IBS Symptoms.
god dammit i wanna eat ma fuckin' strawberries >:(

hoping it's not that. i took imodium and it helped :)
 
Been getting out there, talking to wömen.

Met a few girls, hit it off a bit with a few, but nothing major.

Then I really hit it off with one.

Not exactly my dream woman, but she seems to have a good heart, we have good chemistry, similar aspirations, and we agree on some key things I would never compromise on. Awful taste in music tho.
Things with her seem to be going somewhere.

Immediately after, I meet another girl who seems like she was 3D printed by Satan himself, explicitly to fuck my life up and make me ask for more.
My living nightmare. Every single one of my weaknesses in one woman.
You know the kind of chick you betray everything you believe in for? That one, focus tested specifically for me.
Dolores Dei, Dora Ingerlund, and Miss Oranje Disco Dancer rolled into one, to my Harry DuBois.
An unholy fusion of the woman who broke me in in my youth and the woman who broke me down in my old age.
FUCK.

Jesus fucking Christ, years of drought and when it rains, it pours.

Keep your head cool, asshole. One path leads to uncertainty but the other leads to ruin.

Walk the line, faggot, don't fall off don't fall off don't fall off
 
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This starts to really take a serious toll on me...

I'm off from the activities for now. Can't think straight and productively as of lately due to current spot in life and I sense that my overall well-being is going downhill, not much in terms of health and behavior management but rather my thoughts and problem solving capacity.

I feel like I just rapidly degenerate, becoming dumber and that feeling doesn't let me out from it's grasp. I don't know if that's the fact that every day is the same day or it's just years of negligence and low self-esteem, years of failings worth of good fucking luck that I seethe about again and every wrong decision made then and now.

My plans on streaming remain in to-do list but priority is lowered now.
Unemployment papers filed up and sent, have to wait till mid-april, just like I thought it would happen. Same goes for govt help, it won't come soon enough.
At least HR at that last company was nice enough to promise (and this lie) that she'll keep me informed if there would be another place within their darkstores. Right...

And I think, better to minimize if not downright cease my activity on everywhere and completely turn my already shitty focus and attention on irl completely for now. That includes KF and my hobbies.

At this point I hope for not going through invasive thoughts I had during end of the 10s again. This time was shit and very harmful on so many levels I'd rather not to get through similar experiences again.
 
I just want to sleep. I just want to wake up not feeling extremely exhausted every goddamned day.

I can cope (lol no, not really) with being a lonely depressed fuckup. I can't being sleep deprived. I just want my fucking doctor to get me damned ambien or SOMETHING. "We're worried about the adverse effects!" Nigga I'm already a fucking opiate addict. I just want to SLEEP. And not wake up to the same shitty fucking nightmares every night.

I think the loneliness is probably causing it. I've genuinely not talked with anyone in weeks, fuck possibly months now. Only single sentences or absolutely forgettable encounters with the "normal people". My therapist just says nothingness, my family just yells and treats me like garbage. The few "friends" I had I all fucking cut off after finally learning I was being used. Legit I just want a hug and someone I can fucking talk to and not have to keep my damned guard up constantly.

Legitimately, everyone I communicate with IRL treats me like fucking shit. I already mentioned my mom never loving me. My dad doesn't talk to me about jack fucking shit. I just talk to myself and very rarely people online I do genuinely like, but they live normal lives so they have no time to chat with me. I'm going to go back to college like a fucking clown at near 30 and feel completely out of place.

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I just know something is off. Call it autism, call it SZPD whatever the fuck. There's something wrong and I just cannot function around people.
 
Youtube has been spamming me with "I moved to Japan" videos. I hate them. The comments are always full of mid-20s US weebs who never considered any other country for a second. They decided they wanted to move to Japan and found the reasons afterwards. "Oh they're all isolated, depressed, single and suicidal? Well I like living in isolation!". Spain, Finland, Belgium, France, Australia. Places my old classmates moved for a few years. It didn't define any of them nor was it more than an adventure, but oh boy, teaching English in japan and finding some christmas cake pussy? Hell yeah! Now you're sad, but in Japan.

I think I'm just envious of them actually doing something with their lives, even if it's down the ladder instead of up. I still fear I won't ever get out of this job I'm in. Like, I can't take certificates in my own time. There are none. I don't wanna get into IT, so what else is there? Oh, and an ex-coworker finally showed up to intern as a health worker at my workplace, a year after leaving to study. Barely a step up in terms of pay, but man, seeing people progress sucks. I really want to move on and start actually stack up months of employment in a field I want to pursue, but I've just no idea how to pivot. Not like I can take a month off for classes.
 
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I'm going to go back to college like a fucking clown at near 30 and feel completely out of place
I went to college around 28 to knock out my degree. The Bachelors is just a checklist item for my career so I took two classes a semester and always did evening/night classes when it was an option. You'll feel far less out of place since it's other older people with real world experience and shit to do during the day that doesn't involve dealing with fresh out of high schoolers. I believe I recall you saying before you wanted to do something in IT/cyber? Sorry if it was another poster I'm confusing you with, I'm inpatient and doped up on bullshit bored as hell. I'm not an IT guy, but I have years of experience in offensive and defensive cyber operations jobs, feel free to PM me with any questions on what certs to look into getting/if you just need someone to talk to or rant at to feel better. I have nothing but free time rotting away at the moment.
 
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