Well there was good news.
One of the... three good workers left finally got a promotion to assistant manager.
They did try to pull some bullshit where they gave a guy who'd been there three months the manager position. That decision still stands, but when the dude who's been working 50+ hour weeks for months and picking up the slack the previous manager was leaving him found out, he, and essentially all of us threatened to do a mass walk out. The management shit their pants and offered him a conciliatory role as assistant manager and a raise he's needed for a long ass time.
He's always been cool with me. He straight up comes up to me and says "Dude, whatever you need. I got you. I'll get you where you wherever you want to be." He's known that they've actively held me back from progressing to any new station. Dude also got me my old hours, so... OVERTIME BITCH!
Shit's really tested my racism, if I'm being honest. Imagine the black dude actually being one of the only people in the building who isn't a nigger.
I'm really happy for him as he was the one guy keeping me here. But if I'm being honest I think it's reached the point where the ship is unfixable. You see, we honestly had a pretty damn good crew when I first came in here. All a bunch of weirdos too, which I like. But the thing that usually happens anymore happens and all the talented or interesting people either got tired and got better jobs and moved on or got actively pushed out by the peaked-in-highschool fat dykes and NPCS. It's really a sad fucking sight.
Anyone who ever says some reddit shit like "What's the problem with normies?1!??" really has never seen their work-life ruined by the infestation of mouth-breathing retards. Shit really grinds my gears like nothing else.
I just need to rip the bandaid off and go. I know I always say that. But yeah, things are rather bleak.
Not that I haven't enjoyed my time. I honestly have.
But I think the worst thing about something like this is you get such low morale that you start to wonder if every place is just like this. And then I come on here and see horror stories of people trying to find jobs or getting fucked over and it becomes this kind of endless spiral.
It's weird because enough people from the original team here have been rooting for me hard. Some people actually really want me to succeed.
It's just me. I'm so terrified of moving forward. On anything. No one's stopped me. I'm just perpetually frozen in place, blinded by pain and fear.
I think I'm just almost wanting to stay in the dirt. I don't want things to get better. It's a weird process to describe to people but I think sometimes I want things to stay in place or get worse so I can finally have the incentive to fuck off and die most of the time. If things get better, I'll actually have to try more. And those things might go away. I'll eventually have to forget about stuff that doesn't serve me and move on. And for some reason despite that probably being the best thing in the world, the very idea of it makes me uncomfortable more than anything. A lot of the things I wanted growing up whether it be having a normal young-adulthood or just being closer to family I've realized are pretty much impossible now, so I don't know how I could really have a happy life even if I do "get my shit together" and accomplish all the amazing things. It will all feel like making up for lost time or the feeling you get where you can't buy the one thing you really need so you buy a bunch of retarded smaller shit to cope.
Oh well...
Again, happy my guy finally got his promotion and that he's got my back. But yeah, I'm kind of lost at the moment on how to move forward.
