- Joined
- Jul 6, 2024
How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check
- Thread starter Milk Mage
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2017
Sent 4-5 job applications, expecting nothing. Felt good for a few days, then the automated rejections pile in, and I feel shit for a few days. Drinking may be borrowing happiness from tomorrow but applying for jobs is signing yourself up for misery down the line. I applied for an internal role that my bosses basically said I should have but since they're not involved, I'll be rated on my own merit and I genuinely do not know what my lack-of is anymore. I've guided other people to write better application material which netted them jobs. It's as if I'm living in another world than other people. They have no worries about being unable to find another job and act suicidal over 2 months of unemployment.
Anyway: Been thinking about life in way of being a disappointment. Seeing friends on Facebook and Instagram with kids and jobs. It's kinda funny how a few decades ago everyone would have a story of that one friend who disappeared or moved to Japan. "Oh he just disappeared". You can't do that anymore. Nuking your social media is seen as an absurd thing to do, so most just stop updating them. Shit, most of my classmates changed their profile picture 3 times a year until they graduated then nothing since. The based thing would be to find an old toddler photo of the "non-identifiable fat blob" variety and use that. It's a conscious choice but one rendering you practically anonymous. Wipe the whole thing and keep it around for Messenger.
The trees are blooming, it's getting hotter, and I'm for once not relating a warm blue sky with 'I could've been a techbro in Sydney if I wasn't a loser instead' way of thinking. I'm gonna try to stay generally positive, untouched by workplace bullshit and just be okay with life. I'm not broke or on drugs and I love my cat.
Anyway: Been thinking about life in way of being a disappointment. Seeing friends on Facebook and Instagram with kids and jobs. It's kinda funny how a few decades ago everyone would have a story of that one friend who disappeared or moved to Japan. "Oh he just disappeared". You can't do that anymore. Nuking your social media is seen as an absurd thing to do, so most just stop updating them. Shit, most of my classmates changed their profile picture 3 times a year until they graduated then nothing since. The based thing would be to find an old toddler photo of the "non-identifiable fat blob" variety and use that. It's a conscious choice but one rendering you practically anonymous. Wipe the whole thing and keep it around for Messenger.
The trees are blooming, it's getting hotter, and I'm for once not relating a warm blue sky with 'I could've been a techbro in Sydney if I wasn't a loser instead' way of thinking. I'm gonna try to stay generally positive, untouched by workplace bullshit and just be okay with life. I'm not broke or on drugs and I love my cat.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
I got dumped and I hate my job.
So...I went to church yesterday.
It was okay. It was one of those modern churches that don't do kneeling or communion (something I'm a little wary of; I do think there's something about the ritual of poses and motions in terms of meditation that is a form of discipline that religion should bring to your life), but there's a big thing about accepting Jesus and while I can totally get behind why people do that*, there was a song where there was a repeated lyric of "I love you Jesus", which is corny as fuck but I'm not going to hate on people who believe, because the reason why I was there was to be around people who had hope and believe in something, and I think that's pretty cool of them.
The other thing that was cool was that there wasn't a normal Palm Sunday sermon literally about Palm Sunday but rather having faith when people are dogging you, and shit, man, that was something I could use right now.
All in all, I didn't hate it. Will probably be back for Easter.
*I'm not the biggest believer in divine stuff, but if it brings people joy and comfort, which it seemed to do for a lot of these folks, then I'll be glad to take my time to uplift people who need it more than me, be grateful that someone gave me a good reason not to check my phone for an hour and talk to me about shit that made me feel a little better about my situation.
So...I went to church yesterday.
It was okay. It was one of those modern churches that don't do kneeling or communion (something I'm a little wary of; I do think there's something about the ritual of poses and motions in terms of meditation that is a form of discipline that religion should bring to your life), but there's a big thing about accepting Jesus and while I can totally get behind why people do that*, there was a song where there was a repeated lyric of "I love you Jesus", which is corny as fuck but I'm not going to hate on people who believe, because the reason why I was there was to be around people who had hope and believe in something, and I think that's pretty cool of them.
The other thing that was cool was that there wasn't a normal Palm Sunday sermon literally about Palm Sunday but rather having faith when people are dogging you, and shit, man, that was something I could use right now.
All in all, I didn't hate it. Will probably be back for Easter.
*I'm not the biggest believer in divine stuff, but if it brings people joy and comfort, which it seemed to do for a lot of these folks, then I'll be glad to take my time to uplift people who need it more than me, be grateful that someone gave me a good reason not to check my phone for an hour and talk to me about shit that made me feel a little better about my situation.
Another job application, this time it went on way more far road so far and frankly, I have optimism for once.
I remain cautious tho. You never know what might happen...
And I failed on video delivery. Welp, my bad. I had irl matters at play. Again.
I remain cautious tho. You never know what might happen...
And I failed on video delivery. Welp, my bad. I had irl matters at play. Again.
Thanks for reminding me that I wanted to visit my church for a while now.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2025
The rain sounds really beautiful tonight, it's very calming after a long stressful day.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2023
I think my ex has a child now, and I'm here. Fuckin hell. Good for her, but damn if it don't sting. She never wanted kids. I hope for her and especially the child's sake shes doing better and taking to motherhood. Kid deserves a mother who loves them. Hope they get one, father too.
(((I am NOT a jew)))
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
I seem to recall you talking about getting into a nice relationship you enjoyed.
I'm so sorry. I was really happy you were moving into a nice chapter because I usually enjoy your input.
I can't really say anything to cope or give advice but I was really pulling for you. So I hope you can come back okay.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
Thanks. I honestly thought this one was for real. Turns out that (much to the surprise of not only me but multiple friends who met the guy) he dumped me because he "wanted new experiences". Those were his words, and I wish I was making up how bullshit that sounded.
I'm not going to act like I had nothing to do with it. A man doesn't suddenly look for something new if you're giving him what he wants. A lot of it was (and I'm guessing, because I think he thought he was being a nice guy by not only not saying he was having issues with me, but not blaming me at all), I'm processing whether or not the last 25 years of my career was wasted/spent as a DEI hire and whether or not he wanted to deal with it.
I let him know that I didn't appreciate being in a situationship when we talked multiple times that I was looking for something long-term, and I appreciated even less when he (and frankly, when any man does this) suggested that after dumping me, we should be friends.
Like, you decide unilaterally to change the terms of our relationship (such as it apparently was) so that I get decidedly less than before, and I'm supposed to be satisfied with that arrangement? Just embrace being the bad guy here, and don't pretend that after having known me, I'd sit back and accept being a simp?
All that to say...thanks. I hide the fact that i post on this board for obvious reasons, but generally speaking, the folks on this board are better than most other places on the internet. Y'all might not always be nice, but at least I can expect people here to be honest with me.
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2018
Was just about to post on the chin that I've finally broken and was gonna do a hookup or get a male escort to lose my virginity, and then saw it got hacked.
I think this is some kind of message.
Godspeed, faggots.
I think this is some kind of message.
Godspeed, faggots.
3X0D14
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2024
Hi I'm going to have a mental breakdown
Why are these students so fucking stupid? A student dropped a hint in the groupchat for our class- "A hint for the assignment..You need to use Awk in order to do it. Good luck, look into Awk and you can do it.." Really? You're telling me I have to use AWK for the assignment titled "ASSIGNMENT 3 - AWK" and references the use of AWK multiple times in the instructions? Are you having a fucking laugh? I asked him if he was joking and he wasn't. He then proceeded to type out what I can only describe as the most offensive misuse of terminology I have ever read in my life. "The assignment said awk, but forced the idea of using sort" Maybe that's because you have to fucking pipe sort into awk to sort the fucking output as instructed. 'I spent 3 hours trying to figure out kernel manipulation in order to reorder the stupid shit" KERNEL MANIPULATION!!!!!!!! ACH DU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE SORTING THE OUTPUT OF A TEXT FILE. "I had to give up on that because I'm not that good at creating my own kernel obviously" What are you talking about!!!! What are you talking about!!! What are you talking about!!!!!!!!!!
Then he says he wants to get into cybersecurity. He hated the intro course to cybersecurity that I also took. Because it was too much reading. Maybe I will order tomato soup at a restaurant and proceed to rant to the waiter about how much I hate tomato soup.
Another student asks me for help. He says he's not using parameters because the instructions said not to. The instructions did not say "don't use parameters", nowhere does it say that. I'm actually looking at your code right now and one of the first things you did was use the split function which is taking in THREE fucking parameters You are going to look me in the eyes and tell me you're not passing any values through parameters while passing values through parameters.
"ASSIGNMENT 3 DUE 04/15 11;59PM" -> "When is the assignment due its due tomorrow right"
Do you know how to navigate the school website, to our courses, to see the list of assignments and their due dates
"What does Harvard Method mean" -> There's a slide over it, in the slides, in the powerpoint slides provided by the professor, under the module we've been going over, titled Harvard Method, in the slides.
"Hey can you help me with my assignment it says I'm getting this [DELIMITER RELATED ERROR] but I think its related to the txt file" I actually got the same error and googled it and found out it was a DELIMITER RELATED ERROR in 5 seconds
"Professor how did you convert GB to a byte so fast? How do you do that?" ME WHEN I DON'T WATCH THE PROFESSOR WORK OUT SAID UNIT CONVERSION DURING THE LECTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM NOT THE SMARTEST PERSON, BUT I DO MY BEST EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO WAIT TWO HOURS TO ASK THE PROFESSOR ABOUT SOME POSIX STANDARDS SHIT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE NEEDS PROTOTYPEN EXPLAINED TO THEM WE LEARNED THIS IN INTRO TO PROGRAMMING AHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DONT TELL ME YOU'RE TRYING WHEN YOU'RE USING AI. DON'T MESSAGE ME ASKING FOR HELP AND I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOU USED CHATGPT. YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER REMOVING THE COMMENTS IT LEAVES, YOU ARE USING SED SUBSTITUTION ON THE SAME LINE FOUR TIMES IN A ROW AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT
Why are these students so fucking stupid? A student dropped a hint in the groupchat for our class- "A hint for the assignment..You need to use Awk in order to do it. Good luck, look into Awk and you can do it.." Really? You're telling me I have to use AWK for the assignment titled "ASSIGNMENT 3 - AWK" and references the use of AWK multiple times in the instructions? Are you having a fucking laugh? I asked him if he was joking and he wasn't. He then proceeded to type out what I can only describe as the most offensive misuse of terminology I have ever read in my life. "The assignment said awk, but forced the idea of using sort" Maybe that's because you have to fucking pipe sort into awk to sort the fucking output as instructed. 'I spent 3 hours trying to figure out kernel manipulation in order to reorder the stupid shit" KERNEL MANIPULATION!!!!!!!! ACH DU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE SORTING THE OUTPUT OF A TEXT FILE. "I had to give up on that because I'm not that good at creating my own kernel obviously" What are you talking about!!!! What are you talking about!!! What are you talking about!!!!!!!!!!
Then he says he wants to get into cybersecurity. He hated the intro course to cybersecurity that I also took. Because it was too much reading. Maybe I will order tomato soup at a restaurant and proceed to rant to the waiter about how much I hate tomato soup.
Another student asks me for help. He says he's not using parameters because the instructions said not to. The instructions did not say "don't use parameters", nowhere does it say that. I'm actually looking at your code right now and one of the first things you did was use the split function which is taking in THREE fucking parameters You are going to look me in the eyes and tell me you're not passing any values through parameters while passing values through parameters.
"ASSIGNMENT 3 DUE 04/15 11;59PM" -> "When is the assignment due its due tomorrow right"
Do you know how to navigate the school website, to our courses, to see the list of assignments and their due dates
"What does Harvard Method mean" -> There's a slide over it, in the slides, in the powerpoint slides provided by the professor, under the module we've been going over, titled Harvard Method, in the slides.
"Hey can you help me with my assignment it says I'm getting this [DELIMITER RELATED ERROR] but I think its related to the txt file" I actually got the same error and googled it and found out it was a DELIMITER RELATED ERROR in 5 seconds
"Professor how did you convert GB to a byte so fast? How do you do that?" ME WHEN I DON'T WATCH THE PROFESSOR WORK OUT SAID UNIT CONVERSION DURING THE LECTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM NOT THE SMARTEST PERSON, BUT I DO MY BEST EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO WAIT TWO HOURS TO ASK THE PROFESSOR ABOUT SOME POSIX STANDARDS SHIT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE NEEDS PROTOTYPEN EXPLAINED TO THEM WE LEARNED THIS IN INTRO TO PROGRAMMING AHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DONT TELL ME YOU'RE TRYING WHEN YOU'RE USING AI. DON'T MESSAGE ME ASKING FOR HELP AND I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOU USED CHATGPT. YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER REMOVING THE COMMENTS IT LEAVES, YOU ARE USING SED SUBSTITUTION ON THE SAME LINE FOUR TIMES IN A ROW AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2021
I was carrying a stack of boxes and something fell out of the top box, bounced off the bottom box and nailed me in the nuts. I looked up and there was a security camera looking right at me. The security guy probably thinks I'm a clown
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2022
The place where my wife and I had our first date is trying to find a new buyer. Stopped in the other day on a road trip as it's quite far from us now. I hope they manage. It really bummed me out. I thought they would be doing pretty well for themselves.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Minor panic. Due to a careless decimal error, send a crypto transaction for thousands into tens of thousands. Luckily it was a self-to-self but it freaked me out.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2024
I don't know if this is the right place for this, so please bear with me if that's not the case.
I think I'm at the point where I don't really know what I'm doing with my life. I should be content with my life situation in which I'm in my late twenties with a six-figure tech job, and the same amount in savings, yet I somehow feel empty as if I'm missing something or questioning whether I made the right decisions to get to this point.
I don't really have many hobbies left, and old friends have become distant through time. I want to find something new, yet I don't know what I want to do; It feels strange to even write that down. After seeing this whole 4chan situation, it's bring a bunch of nostalgia in me that I haven't felt in years. I'm thinking about the people I used to talk to yet lost contact with over the years. I wonder how they turned out in the end? I managed to make something out of myself, yet I feel lost in how much has changed. I hope this makes sense somehow.
I think I'm at the point where I don't really know what I'm doing with my life. I should be content with my life situation in which I'm in my late twenties with a six-figure tech job, and the same amount in savings, yet I somehow feel empty as if I'm missing something or questioning whether I made the right decisions to get to this point.
I don't really have many hobbies left, and old friends have become distant through time. I want to find something new, yet I don't know what I want to do; It feels strange to even write that down. After seeing this whole 4chan situation, it's bring a bunch of nostalgia in me that I haven't felt in years. I'm thinking about the people I used to talk to yet lost contact with over the years. I wonder how they turned out in the end? I managed to make something out of myself, yet I feel lost in how much has changed. I hope this makes sense somehow.
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2017
Wanted to help one guy I knew with medical bills for his wife since he kept bugging me with this shit for weeks. Couldn't send money through bank so I used crypto. This faggot fucked my brains for two days straight crying that he doesn't know what to do while most of this shit has intuitive design and could be googled online. He kept bugging me even when I was clearly offline because I was working or asleep. On the final day after receiving the money and the link to the exchange he quit and started begging me to send it all back, sending me into a fucking rage since he couldn't even figure out how to buy TRX tokens. After it was all done, I sent him one long and detailed message which was basically that scene where Wolverine roasts Deadpool and blocked this faggot everywhere. I fucking love helping people and feeling like it was I who should've been giving more fucks than them. Nevermind the fact that I've spent 10 bucks just to drive around my own money.
@MerriedxReldnahc I really don't understand how you was able to put up with similar shit for years. I've been there only for 2 days and already wanted to resort to violence. You must have patience of a saint.
@MerriedxReldnahc I really don't understand how you was able to put up with similar shit for years. I've been there only for 2 days and already wanted to resort to violence. You must have patience of a saint.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
@(((I am NOT a jew))) :
Gotta tell you, I'm a lot like you. Familial abuse left me in a state of arrested development and learned helplessness.
Basically what keeps me moving forward right now is finding an accountability buddy to keep me moving. In this case, a career coach. He told me to spend 15 minutes a day looking for a new job. That's it. He's noticed my mood has already improved because even if I'm stuck in my bleak-ass situation, I'm doing shit about it.
Even if it feels like you're only going forward slowly, go fucking forward. All the little steps add up.
Gotta tell you, I'm a lot like you. Familial abuse left me in a state of arrested development and learned helplessness.
Basically what keeps me moving forward right now is finding an accountability buddy to keep me moving. In this case, a career coach. He told me to spend 15 minutes a day looking for a new job. That's it. He's noticed my mood has already improved because even if I'm stuck in my bleak-ass situation, I'm doing shit about it.
Even if it feels like you're only going forward slowly, go fucking forward. All the little steps add up.
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2024
Just typed out 1000 words here and deleted it all.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2021
Medicating with food today, since I don't drink or do other things. Fortunately for me, my eyes remain bigger than my stomach so I won't be able to go too far.
Uncle Tom's Condo
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2024
On the plus side, my auntie is coming to visit for a week in June. She's great and put let me stay at her house when my life imploded almost 10 years ago. I now live where there's a lot of stuff to do/see in the summer and I know she'll have a great time and I want to be a good host.
On the downside, she hasn't told my mom because a lot of the stuff my auntie wants to do my mom physically can't and I know my mom will get all mad about her visit because she wasn't invited. I live a 4.5 hour direct flight from my auntie and like a minimum 12 hours flight time from my mom. So the shit will hit the fan at some point, but I'll deal with it then. My dad will likely have to bear the brunt of it, but they're old and can deal with it.
On the downside, she hasn't told my mom because a lot of the stuff my auntie wants to do my mom physically can't and I know my mom will get all mad about her visit because she wasn't invited. I live a 4.5 hour direct flight from my auntie and like a minimum 12 hours flight time from my mom. So the shit will hit the fan at some point, but I'll deal with it then. My dad will likely have to bear the brunt of it, but they're old and can deal with it.