- Joined
- Oct 27, 2021
You're OK to vent. And I'm glad you gave her the eviction notice - now enforce it if you want things to change. I realize that's likely a Rubicon-crossing moment, but if you want her out, know your legal rights and get serious. And tbh, sounds like you know she is going to keep stringing this out if allowed. Potential "years" might as well be never - and if she got a call for that place, she might find some reason or other why it's not going to work - ground floor, bad view, worn carpet, whatever.I hate venting about this shit but i can't even talk to her about it. She always turns it against me or lies and says it never happened.
And I'll add this: if you are waiting for her to "talk" about it, you may be waiting a very long time. You don't have to get her permission, and you don't have to care if she lies or twists things. Let her do it, say whatever - you don't have to get her on board with your decisions about your life; just keep going with your own goals - factual, legal, serious. Give a timeline, tell her what you are and are not willing to do, serve the eviction notice (or whatever is required to start the clock where you are), and follow through with what you said you will do. If she has a lifetime of disregarding you (and otherwise being abusive or taking advantage), stop begging for her to change: you have to.
Now, all that said, like I said before, this might be a no-turning-back thing to do. If you can't bear to risk that, then you're stuck worrying and putting your life on hold, and you should make peace with that. But you have more power than you think - so long as you get over asking permission.
Hope that's not too stark. But based on your comments, you're right where she wants you - unable to put your foot down without getting twisted and tortured about it, trying to preserve a relationship and unwilling to risk it...and that's to her advantage.