How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Literally just discovered active termites today right as I’m finally ready to make the leap on repairing and moving into the old family home. It has been functionally abandoned for about five years. Had the contractor over for a quote, noticed a ripple of paint on a piece of window trim, tapped it, and it completely disintegrated under my finger. Peeled away some of the surface paint and my stomach fell through my ass watching 2-3 termites scurry away from the disturbance I had just made. The paint rippling continues up the trim.

I now have a pest control guy in line to come out and assess. I keep hallucinating bugs crawling on me. I might neck myself if there’s structural damage
 
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Hate Campaign said:
Literally just discovered active termites today right as I’m finally ready to make the leap on repairing and moving into the old family home. It has been functionally abandoned for about five years. Had the contractor over for a quote, noticed a ripple of paint on a piece of window trim, tapped it, and it completely disintegrated under my finger. Peeled away some of the surface paint and my stomach fell through my ass watching 2-3 termites scurry away from the disturbance I had just made. The paint rippling continues up the trim.

I now have a pest control guy in line to come out and assess. I keep hallucinating bugs crawling on me. I might neck myself if there’s structural damage
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I hired a photographer with a DSLR camera...
 
Good and a little tired.

The good: My rent will get cut by 3/4 next month. Meaning I got three extra grand. One will go to my savings, the other to the dentist, and the last is to splurge because it's my damn money and I wanna have fun.

The bad....or the tired:

I found myself in the situation of providing life advice for someone again, and let me tell you, to any female Kiwi really, there's something extremely sad about women with absolutely zero sense of self-respect who measure their entire self-worth by how useful or attractive they are to men, so they just put up with men walking all over them.

Bitch, get some self-respect.

"Oh, I allowed my boyfriend to have an affair as a compromise because I have a crippling, untreated mental disorder that I am currently treating, but it makes housework difficult. He said he has grown resentful of me for it, so I said he can have sex with someone else and I can't because I'm fat and ugly and most men don't want me but my boyfriend said no because that's stupid but he went out and fucked people behind my back anyway. Also he has a list of all the dumb things I've said to laugh in my face about so-"

Bitch, what are you doing??????

"Well I'm 33 so I'm used goods.I'm past my prime. And I will never find love again because my boobs are too small and I don't look like Instagram models and I don't want to be single. I want to be with a MAN-"

Bitch, stop!

Actually, this sort of behavior is extremely sad from men too, usually coming from someone who has a whole lot of issues that should be sorted out before they hit up Tinder or whatever.

I'm a believer in the saying, "you need to love yourself before you can love someone else," and I think this situation just continues to highlight how true that is because I've dealt with a lot of mentally troubled people thinking dating will replace therapy, and this is another instance. The fuck?

My god, I'm beat.....
 
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Still lamenting on old grudges I really shouldn't be. I was taught that I had to give everything up for others' success, that I wasn't even allowed to complain if I got fucked over, and that surely I'll be rewarded if I just be a good little poster boy, only to find it it does nothing in the adult world where you're just dropped off, surprise surprise. I also kinda wish that I could just learn an in-demand skill, relocate somewhere else and practically guarantee a decent job of some kind there, but I swear the shit that's "in-demand" changes at the drop of a dime these days and the idea of a guaranteed job these days is laughable.
I hope everyone's able to win the battles they don't wanna talk about.
 
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Lingering butter taste said:
Call me sensitive but I hate how media normalizes and makes jokes about the shit I went through as a child. Beating the ever loving shit out of your kid is just a “funny thing black people do”. It took me till 18 to find out “spanking” is supposed to be on the ass and not at your face. It took me till 18 to find out being hit with the buckle isn’t normal. It took me till 18 to find out being hit with a charger isn’t normal. It took me till 18 to find out being hit with a fucking dictionary isn’t normal.

Maybe if the media stopped joking about it I would’ve found out sooner, now it’s too late to even confront my parents about it. What’s even funny about a kid getting his shit rocked? What the fuck is wrong with people?
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It's a ok when blacks and browns beat their kids cause it's "cultural".
Another thing media makes light of is adultery, especially media from the 80s to the present day.
 
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Señora Airi said:
It's a ok when blacks and browns beat their kids cause it's "cultural".
Another thing media makes light of is adultery, especially media from the 80s to the present day.
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I hate the “cultural” excuse. Morality isn’t dictated by location. Obviously I’m not saying you’re saying that, I’m just speaking generally

I’m going to therapy again tomorrow. I keep on calling the psychologist but she’s always coincidentally busy when I call and I’m always coincidentally busy when she calls back. Therapy’s been a bit slow, mostly cause there’s so much I have to tell her. I think she’s a very good therapist though that speaks very objectively and is rarely opinionated, a few times she slips into emotions though. Those times have made me conclude she really fucking hates my parents, despite this she only blames things on them when it actually makes sense.

She wants to get me on meds, but mostly what she’s focused on right now is getting me a normal eating schedule. That’s a change I’m not sure I want to make yet though, I’m quite comfortable (Read “Miserable but too lazy to change”) not eating till 5.
 
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MisterListerTheBlister said:
Still lamenting on old grudges I really shouldn't be. I was taught that I had to give everything up for others' success, that I wasn't even allowed to complain if I got fucked over, and that surely I'll be rewarded if I just be a good little poster boy, only to find it it does nothing in the adult world where you're just dropped off, surprise surprise. I also kinda wish that I could just learn an in-demand skill, relocate somewhere else and practically guarantee a decent job of some kind there, but I swear the shit that's "in-demand" changes at the drop of a dime these days and the idea of a guaranteed job these days is laughable.
I hope everyone's able to win the battles they don't wanna talk about.
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I hear you and understand what you are going through as I been there myself. You are young. Keep being alert. Save your money regardless of your situation. And keep going forward.

That's all we can do.
 
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Woke up and it feels like a truck rolled over me. Yesterday night my girlfriend got a message from a relative in her home country and we had to go to GF's place at around 2AM to check if Interpol didn't raid it. They did not. Can't go into much more detail but fucking sucks when someone you haven't seen in 30 years still causes problems to the point that you have to be worried about shit like this. I'm totally spent. Girlfriend is messed up because she's not the only one that has nothing to do with this but still suffered from it, journo cunts put her young niece's full name in a local paper and everything for example. It's some real bullshit.
DenseDeerFather said:
My rent will get cut by 3/4 next month
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Damn, how did you make that happen? That's pretty fucking great. As for the spoilered stuff, i vouch for the "Get some self-respect" line, it's a very important skill (for lack of a better term) to learn. The last paragraph is the truth and pretty much how i see it as well.
 
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My mental health has been deteriorating in the last 24 hours. Severe anxiety and insomnia.

I've been dealing with this shit on and off my whole life (anxiety disorders and random panic attacks run in the family). It blows when it flares up like this.

I know how to handle myself and how to hide it from my kid... my partner is understanding and awesome. But it still hurts. I want to sleep. I know it will get better, but for now it sucks.

I refuse to take any meds for it. All meds have ever done is turn me into a emotionless zombie and I've tried so, so many.

Hoping I can get at least enough sleep to go to the gym tomorrow. I know that will help. I haven't been to the gym as much as I should because I've been busy.

Why must my body decide there is danger around when danger is not present.

I don't know why I felt compelled to bitch about this on kiwi farms but as I was scrolling anxiously at 5am it felt like the right thing to do
 
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Señora Airi said:
Another thing media makes light of is adultery, especially media from the 80s to the present day.
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I kinda hate that there's this growing belief that you're not at fault if you willingly bang someone in a relationship. "Oh but it's not my responsibility that Asshole McDonald wanted to fuck around while married. I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not married to him"

No but you shouldn't have sucked his dick anyway.

"Well he was gonna cheat anyway!"

That's not an excuse, you fucking idiot.
The Feline Solution 2 said:
journo cunts put her young niece's full name in a local paper and everything for example. It's some real bullshit.
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?????

That feels like it's breaking some kind of law or regulation.
The Feline Solution 2 said:
Damn, how did you make that happen? That's pretty fucking great.
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Haha it's because I pay a set amount for utilities every month but once a year the leasing company checks what I actually use and calculate it. Depending on the amount, they charge you less or more in rent. I usually pay less, around a grand or less. 3 grand though is a new record. I'm very happy.
The Feline Solution 2 said:
As for the spoilered stuff, i vouch for the "Get some self-respect" line, it's a very important skill (for lack of a better term) to learn. The last paragraph is the truth and pretty much how i see it as well.
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It was an extremely exhausting conversation. Listening to my friend just blasting herself because she's deluded herself into thinking her only worth is how attractive she is to men. Not just her boyfriend but men as a whole. She has a degree in computer science BTW.

Hence the whole "allowing boyfriend to cheat a single time to compensate for her ADHD making housework difficult"

Who fucking does that? What??

"I don't like being a typical feminine girly girl but I have to because alternative girls and goths are unattractive and I don't want to be unattractive. Maybe I'm fat and that's why he cheated on me several times even though he refused the free pass"

????????

I'm a quiet person irl but I've never wanted to scream in someone's face so badly.
Unnecessary Surgery Land said:
I don't know why I felt compelled to bitch about this on kiwi farms but as I was scrolling anxiously at 5am it felt like the right thing to do
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Hey now, we may be assholes but we're not fucking assholes. If it made you feel better, bitch to your heart's content
 
DenseDeerFather said:
That feels like it's breaking some kind of law or regulation.
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I don't know the laws in Italy that well, it would be illegal here. She's seeing a lawyer about it this week. Damage is still done, the article was published online and people in her commune already saw it. She will most likely have to move because of this.

Edit: The other papers kept it at "20 relatives of person X".

DenseDeerFather said:
Haha it's because I pay a set amount for utilities every month but once a year the leasing company checks what I actually use and calculate it.
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Ah, gotcha. It's the same here, i read it as you somehow managing to permanently cut your rent by 3/4th. Getting 3k back is still pretty nice, i am happy to get like 1-200€ back each year.
 
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