How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

My left knee has been hurting bad lately. My whole legs have been sore due to all the stocking and other duties at my job. I guess all the bending and kneeling has gotten to my knee too. It has a sharp pain when I bend it certain ways.

I’m not sure exactly how to help it. Should I slap a brace on it? Put some ice and heat on it? Go to a doctor to make sure it’s not something serious? Or just tough it out. I feel old, man.
 
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Had to go get a covid test today. Now I'm isolating for however long it take for my results to come back. I also have to figure out a way to get a dead, stinky possum out from where it's wedged itself in our fence. I have a mild cold. Other than that, everything's fine.
 
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Coffee Druid said:
My left knee has been hurting bad lately. My whole legs have been sore due to all the stocking and other duties at my job. I guess all the bending and kneeling has gotten to my knee too. It has a sharp pain when I bend it certain ways.

I’m not sure exactly how to help it. Should I slap a brace on it? Put some ice and heat on it? Go to a doctor to make sure it’s not something serious? Or just tough it out. I feel old, man.
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My knees began to hurt under squats, but stopped when I began using knee sleeves. Don’t really know if it would help, but yea.
 
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Have another appointment tomorrow. Still don't really have answers, just get to deal with weird illness that makes little sense but makes me feel like shit. Getting pretty tired of it because its gone on for so long. It seems to be more than one auto immune disorder, but doctor says that isn't really possible. Then on top of it I have symptoms that make no sense and don't seem related to anything.

I worry the doctors are going to get tired of it and start saying I'm psychosomatic even though they are all very real and testable/visible issues.
 
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Unflushable Turd said:
Having a bad trip after taking a 10mg THC edible. I think I'm going through "ego death" as they say. Just doing down various deep trains of thought on how I am a toxic and defective person, how I never do things for people out of kindness, I don't contribute to people's happiness, I am parasitic and I'm driving people away. I project my own insecurities onto everyone around me. I criticized my parents unfairly for the way they raised me, meanwhile they loved me unconditionally and gave me everything.. they didn't deserve to end up with this emotionally distant, hypercritical, selfish kid. I can't die yet because I need to make things right with everyone. I need to spread love and serve others and be kind. I am completely alone in my apartment and just sort of crying and thinking of all the ways I've failed people. And I can't call anyone because I'd be waking them up (it's like 2:30am) and adding to their stress and being even more of a drain. Hopefully I will feel better in the morning and go to sleep. Ruminating on certain life events has distracted me from the more important issues in my life.
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There's a bit in Tolstoy about how he mourned because he could not bring himself to love all of humanity.

It's a good suffering to have.
 
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Without revealing too much, let's just say I'm going to try to work from home. Whenever I go to said work, I have to drive by businesses that have wooden boards covering them and broken glass. Signs of burning is still visible even after all this time. You have graffiti made by the parasites who live off of the hard work of the people whose lives were destroyed by these parasites. Covering an entire wall are the words "kill all cops". Meanwhile in very small letters on another wall further away is "Save women's spaces", that one for sure will be removed quickly. The people in this area are insane. Null's little rant on city people during the stream that had the tranny in the women only spa sums it up nicely. I really don't want to interact with these people.
 
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Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite said:
Have another appointment tomorrow. Still don't really have answers, just get to deal with weird illness that makes little sense but makes me feel like shit. Getting pretty tired of it because its gone on for so long. It seems to be more than one auto immune disorder, but doctor says that isn't really possible. Then on top of it I have symptoms that make no sense and don't seem related to anything.

I worry the doctors are going to get tired of it and start saying I'm psychosomatic even though they are all very real and testable/visible issues.
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Keep going. Worry about the doctors turning on you when it happens and not before. They monitor your anxiety and if it's the wrong sort, that's when they kick you out of the office. So try to keep your head up and try not to let them smell fear. Get an endoscopy for Coeliac's Disease, it's Satan's own creation and can disguise itself, putting multitude of contradictory symptoms that'll confuse even top level immunologists. Be strong. Good luck. You have a life ahead of you, the way things are now is no way to live.
 
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I woke up this morning wishing I had a shotgun to put in my mouth, but I'll be heading out soon to go about my day as usual. Ultimately, I lack the constitution for suicide and my family would be devastated. Which would, of course, make suicide a pretty selfish act because I obviously have people who love me a great deal. But no matter how often I remind myself of this, I still feel like I'm not really living my life anyway. Just going through the motions out of habit.
 
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The owner of my company is inviting me to their fancy sky box football game thing again. I don't know how to keep gracefully refusing all these party invitations. At least I'm not part of the inner circle and expected to go to Cancun and such.

I like my job, mind you, but this "work hard, play hard" culture is exhausting. If I'm not making money or having sex, I really don't like to expend energy. If she really wanted to make my day she'd pay me for a week while I went home and built fence or prepared winter pasture.

What makes it stressful is I know their type can't understand my type. They just see me as churlish and ungrateful. They love lying around in the sun by a pool, and think it's showing away to claim you'd rather be conducting soil tests or vaccinating livestock.

I just can't see the profit in working all week, only to punish yourself by being away from home and spending all the money you made.


Fuck partying.
 
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Full Doomer mode is now achieved. One of those days where I dwell on the fact there are no good guys, not even better bad guys, and most of both consider me a malefactor to Western Civilization/a Colonizer and will have me killed at the first opportunity.
 
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Just filled in the rental application for my new place. I've gotten confirmation that the background check went through, so now I'm just waiting on the Tenancy Agreement and I'm good to go. I'm honestly feeling pretty worried that they'll decline me on some stupid reason, but odds are it's all good and the big move will be the first week of October.
 
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