How depressing is Chris's future?

[BillRiley]

How is he gonna clean that hoard when he's on his own? I say he should sell what ever is sell able to a junk stores and throw out whatever won't sell. Then I would use that tug boat money to hire some exterminators. Didn't he say there were wasps in his house?

There's some kind of insect infestation, but Chris-Cha­n isn't going to do any of those things. Cleaning out the hoard or calling exterminators would require the kind of effort Chris reserves for vidya, legos and the Ever Frustrating Sweetheart Search. More likely, he'd twitter a demand to his personal fakebook army to come to his house and clean it for him. Then, when no one responded, he'd post some pity plea and crash into slumber.

Chris's immediate post-Barb future would entail something like: Chris sitting in the dark, probably stemming, holding a PS3 controller and staring at a blank screen. He clicks a few buttons, the only sound in a room that reeks of dog urine and unwashed manbaby. Occasionally the dogs bark and whine, but Chris doesn't pay them any mind. He won't until they physically prod him. Anyway, he's too busy playing level 17 of the way-past-cool Sonichu game he's invented with his very own mind, heart and hands.

Every now and then Chris looks up, staring blankly at the Lay-Z-Boy he found mommy in. But that memory is too painful and he retreats once again into his daydreams. Sonichu and Rosechu give him advice on finding a Heartsweet. Maybe he goes on one of the adventures he's been daydreaming about since High School. Soon enough, it's back to game playing. This has been his routine since the electricity went off.

 

[GFYS]

I think it's not too unlikely there's a second mortgage on the house, given Bob & Barb's the frivolous spending, constant litigation they had no chance of winning, and bailing Chris out. It's not too uncommon for a dissatisfied spouse with estranged kids to take on a ton of debt before they die, because it's not going to hurt anyone they care about (themselves).

I think Chris can take care of the necessary expenses, with a little bit of guidance, from the tugboat and anything he might inherit... Right up until shit happens. Shit happens to all of us. A busted transmission, a flat tire, a new air conditioning unit, a leaky roof, parking tickets, etc. Christian has the added liability of being completely unemployable, having absolutely no domestic or repair skills, having almost no social circle he can turn to for help or advice, having to spend $600 a year on new underwear, terrible health, social retardation leading to problems with the law, living in a 36 year old hoarder house with a decade of neglect, an overgrown yard that attracts pests, large neglected trees near the house in a storm-prone coastal state, surrounded by barely or non-functioning cars, delusions of grandeur, and impulse control problems.

Just ONE of these problems can constitute thousands in expenses, which throws Chris' budget completely out the window. Shit, just one of these problems can screw up many hard working non-fucked-in-the-head neurotypical people for years - if not a lifetime. In Chris' case, I think several of these aren't just very likely... I think it's inevitable Chris' going to need expensive medical care, problems with the house, problems with the car, and problems with the law sooner than later.

S-C-R-E-W-E-D.

I'm by no means a fan of Virginia. It was my third least favorite state I've lived in, since coming to the United States. That said, it's a reasonably generous state when it comes to providing welfare to disabled citizens, and one of the top states for providing lasting jobs to people on welfare. In no other country would Chris' story not be a lamentable tale of repeated failures, assuming he wasn't just abandoned or drowned shortly after his disabilities were revealed. Society didn't fail Chris. His parents failed him, fought off those trying to intervene on his behalf, leading to Chris failing society.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I just thought of Borb with a Bane voice dictating Chris's daily responsibilities.

"Calm down, Christian! Now's not the time for q-sands. That comes later."

But seriously Chris' future is pretty damn bleak.

 

[Hyperion]

Chris has what every other disabled basket case in the USA has to look forward to, and that is plenty of jail time. He will be in and out of jail all of his life.

Thanks Reagan!

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

^At least Reagan's wife was nice enough to make sure he'd have lots of nice drug addicts and other sick people to keep him company.

 

[Pikimon]

Do you consider dying alone and forgotten depressing? Or how about the fact that they probably won't discover his body until the house collapses?

 

[Hyperion]

Do you consider dying alone and forgotten depressing? Or how about the fact that they probably won't discover his body until the house collapses?

Being forgotten after I die is actually a plus. The rest of it, not so much.

 

[Zim]

I think it's not too unlikely there's a second mortgage on the house, given Bob & Barb's the frivolous spending, constant litigation they had no chance of winning, and bailing Chris out. It's not too uncommon for a dissatisfied spouse with estranged kids to take on a ton of debt before they die, because it's not going to hurt anyone they care about (themselves).

I think Chris can take care of the necessary expenses, with a little bit of guidance, from the tugboat and anything he might inherit... Right up until shit happens. Shit happens to all of us. A busted transmission, a flat tire, a new air conditioning unit, a leaky roof, parking tickets, etc. Christian has the added liability of being completely unemployable, having absolutely no domestic or repair skills, having almost no social circle he can turn to for help or advice, having to spend $600 a year on new underwear, terrible health, social retardation leading to problems with the law, living in a 36 year old hoarder house with a decade of neglect, an overgrown yard that attracts pests, large neglected trees near the house in a storm-prone coastal state, surrounded by barely or non-functioning cars, delusions of grandeur, and impulse control problems.

Just ONE of these problems can constitute thousands in expenses, which throws Chris' budget completely out the window. Shit, just one of these problems can screw up many hard working non-fucked-in-the-head neurotypical people for years - if not a lifetime. In Chris' case, I think several of these aren't just very likely... I think it's inevitable Chris' going to need expensive medical care, problems with the house, problems with the car, and problems with the law sooner than later.

S-C-R-E-W-E-D.

I'm by no means a fan of Virginia. It was my third least favorite state I've lived in, since coming to the United States. That said, it's a reasonably generous state when it comes to providing welfare to disabled citizens, and one of the top states for providing lasting jobs to people on welfare. In no other country would Chris' story not be a lamentable tale of repeated failures, assuming he wasn't just abandoned or drowned shortly after his disabilities were revealed. Society didn't fail Chris. His parents failed him, fought off those trying to intervene on his behalf, leading to Chris failing society.

Hey, leave some speculation for the rest of us! j/k

I totally agree with all this. It's not his regular bills that could be the downfall of OPL, it's lifes little nasty surprises that happen to us all that will cause him problems. He has no concept of saving so anything that would require more then one month of is going to be put off until destruction.

For example, lets say after the hoardmaster is gone someone chunks a rock through a window. At the most I think Chris would just put stuff in front of it and never actually patch it or fix it inviting all sorts of fun outdoor stuff indoors and causing the power bill to go through the roof. Of course he might not notice a broken window anyway since it looks like they are all covered in junk anyway. Either way nothing will ever get fixed.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

If something were to happen to Chris the "trolls" would be more likely to show concern about his lack of online presence and follow-up by trying to see if he was okay. Anna would be messaged by one of us before she even knew something was wrong.

That's pretty fucking depressing.

 

[CatParty]

If something were to happen to Chris the "trolls" would be more likely to show concern about his lack of online presence and follow-up by trying to see if he was okay. Anna would be messaged by one of us before she even knew something was wrong.

That's pretty fucking depressing.

anna wouldn't even show up to any kind of service or funeral. there is no one outside of the "trolls" that seem to care about his daily routine. cole sure doesn't care. rocky got pushed away. he'd probably not be found for days or even weeks.

 

[Picklepower]

Anna would post RIP Chris, with a pic of him as a child, and think that was just as good as showing up to the funeral. I'm gonna go on a little side tangent about Facebook for a sec, now I do use Facebook to talk to friends easily, sending quick messages, or chatting with ones who have moved. But I see a horrible trend of people, especially teens, who have let technology cheapen the definition of "friend", and social interaction in general. Also Facebook feeds a lot of egos, "All these people hang on my every word for realz, time to show them how caring I am, with a post that took 5 seconds to write." Annoys the Hell out of me.

 

[José Mourinho]

I think it's very depressing to the point that he has to look back at his past (High school).

 

[Marvin]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the house isn't paid off.

If something were to happen to Chris the "trolls" would be more likely to show concern about his lack of online presence and follow-up by trying to see if he was okay. Anna would be messaged by one of us before she even knew something was wrong.

That's pretty fucking depressing.

anna wouldn't even show up to any kind of service or funeral. there is no one outside of the "trolls" that seem to care about his daily routine. Coleslaw sure doesn't care. rocky got pushed away. he'd probably not be found for days or even weeks.

Yeah, almost no one cares about Chris, although no, Rocky didn't get pushed away. Chris can (and has) sperg at her, hardcore, and do his best to drive her away, but he hasn't succeeded. She'll probably help him clean out the house when Barb goes to the great hoard in the sky.

She's like Anna but a bit more practically helpful to Chris. (but with Anna at zero, or less, that's not saying much, I guess)

 

[Cid Highwind]

Is it me, or are all of us here just to see the eventual answer to this topic's question?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

The white knights won't do a damn thing for him besides post consolation messages on his facebook.

His extended family wants nothing to do with him.

Rocky will be there to help manage the funeral and such, but Chris will still demand she move in and be his new mommy or something, and since that won't happen by Chris's standard Rocky will still be doing "nothing".

 

[Holdek]

Quick question: has it been determined if Anna attended Bob's funeral?

As a side-note, I always thought it was really funny that he said that his mother "is getting a sleep-napia for her snoring". He meant that she has Sleep apnea; a sleep disorder of which snoring is a major symptom. Hilarious CWC misunderstanding.

As I understand, isn't sleep apnea a rather serious condition?

It's like when Bob was dying, Chris wrote nonsense about his father having "foot swellings". Chris pays no attention to the gravity of what's going on.

I don't think Chris understood what foot swellings indicated, just like he probably doesn't know what sleep apnea is except that one side effect (its most minor) is that makes a person snore.

Can you get some kind of disability money for something like Autism, which in Chris's case is pretty mild?

Lol "mild"

Spoiler

It's kind of hard to tell sometimes where his autism ends and his stupidity and his other terrible traits (egocentricism, laziness, sense of entitlement) begin. All of it probably influences the rest of it, and it's probably impossible to pull those threads apart especially at this age.

Depending on how much property taxes and utilities are in Ruckersville, and whether there's a mortgage on the house or any other outstanding liabilities, and whether Chris is mentally capable of managing that stuff, he might be able to maintain his lifestyle more-or-less as is after Barb dies.

Actually his lifestyle will probably get better. I don't think he's going to take much of a monetary hit, if any, and he'll finally be a free bitch.

 

[Mobin Salahari]

Is it me, or are all of us here just to see the eventual answer to this topic's question?

Guilty as charged. After Snorlax passes, he'll be more or less left to his own devices. Needless to say, he doesn't stand a chance. It's not a question of whether or not the shit will hit the fan, but when. At the risk of sounding bereft of a soul, the descent of Chris will be a fascinating thing to watch.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Quick question: has it been determined if Anna attended Bob's funeral?

Ha, please. She wasn't about to fly across the country for someone who is nothing more than a facebook chewtoy to her.

 

[CatParty]

Quick question: has it been determined if Anna attended Bob's funeral?

Ha, please. She wasn't about to fly across the country for someone who is nothing more than a facebook chewtoy to her.

more importantly did anyone give cole the satisfaction of telling him when that republican cur dropped?

 

[Marvin]

Is it me, or are all of us here just to see the eventual answer to this topic's question?

Guilty as charged. After Snorlax passes, he'll be more or less left to his own devices. Needless to say, he doesn't stand a chance. It's not a question of whether or not the shit will hit the fan, but when. At the risk of sounding bereft of a soul, the descent of Chris will be a fascinating thing to watch.

I think people are overestimating the impact of Barb as far as Chris' daily life goes. He's mostly on autopilot during the day. Barb is a piece of furniture to Chris. An extremely controlling, insane piece of furniture whose ass Chris has to bandage.

Chris won't be entirely fine when Barb dies, but she's not the support holding their life up.