How depressing is Chris's future?

[Cid Highwind]

more importantly did anyone give Coleslaw the satisfaction of telling him when that republican cur dropped?

No doubt many a Julayfag called up Cole to let him know. Cole is one of those self-important liberals that almost makes me want to vote republican. Does anyone here want to pay me to buy me some high end beer?

 

[Holdek]

One reason Chris has the tugboat is that Bob was wily enough to get Chris signed up for it because he thought Chris would never be able to really earn a living. That was a rare time that Bob showed enough concern that Chris could make it on his own after Borb were gone.

Let's not have yet another debate of whether or not CWC should get da tugboat, but one thing that Bob either didn't know or didn't care about was the fact that Chris can still earn money at a job to a certain amount. If Chris is ever in a position that he doesn't have enough money, it's his own fault for making himself unemployable. If he didn't have it in his mind that he's perfect and doesn't need to change for the better, he could probably accomplish more than what we think he could.

Really, it's hard for me to feel sorry for him. He made his bed and now he can sleep in it. As I've said before, there's a lot of help available to Chris if he'd just swallow his pride and admit he's not living like a typical 31-year-old man, disabled or not, should be living. But Chris has thrown every bit of help back into the faces of his helpers - whether from white knights who thought he was in over his head with da trolls, girls who gave him advice as to how to attract a boyfriend-free girl, or the Autism Speaks volunteer who wondered where Chris got the bizarre idea that Asperger's isn't really autism and suggested that Chris should get a caretaker.

It's ironic that the only person who doesn't realize Chris needs help is Chris. There are preteens and teenagers who function better in society than Chris.

He's also really fucking lazy.

As a side-note, I always thought it was really funny that he said that his mother "is getting a sleep-napia for her snoring". He meant that she has Sleep apnea; a sleep disorder of which snoring is a major symptom. Hilarious CWC misunderstanding.

As I understand, isn't sleep apnea a rather serious condition?

It's like when Bob was dying, Chris wrote nonsense about his father having "foot swellings". Chris pays no attention to the gravity of what's going on.

Yes and no, essentially your airway gets blocked in your sleep. This usually only lasts a few seconds but could last for minutes. If you get no oxygen in your blood you'll be brain damaged in about 3 minutes and dead in 10. This is especially scary to think about because Chris finding Barb dead in her bed would seriously fuck him up.

The most common problem with sleep apnea is you keep waking up due to inability to breath, but it's so minor that you don't realize it. But if this happens constantly throughout the night then the next day it's like you are functioning on almost no sleep and you can't figure out why. And this happens every night and your sleep deficit never gets replenished.

 

[ryan111]

I'm guessing chris would reject government care if he was offered it as it would probably come with some sort of therapy once they look at the case. I'm almost wondering if chris would attempt to force his way into cole's life although the trip to NY would be by far the most terrifying experiences he would have without barb there to hold his hand, and its extremely unlikely cole would even attempt to go to Virginia even for his moms funeral given their relationship.

 

[Holdek]

Holy crap. Chris might make out pretty well for himself. Well, until he has to buy a car or has problems that he can't throw money at. I don't think he'll have over $800/month in disposable income, but he'll have enough.

One expense not mentioned is a one time expense to throw out the hoard once Barb dies. I don't think Chris would want to live in the hoard once Barb goes, but then again, he might not care.

As much as I hate to admit it, Chris may have the last laugh.

Brother, the problem will be property taxes and unexpected expenses, such as car repair, house repair, etc...

He is lucky the house is (likely) paid for, man, but the condition of the house is not going to mean cheap upkeep.

Brother, real Americans fix their own damn house or car when it breaks. Chris needs to take his vitamins, say his prayers, and figure out how to open Bob's old tool box when the time comes.

Please don't encourage Chris to tinker with his car on his own.

I thought the house was paid off. If so, that's a major expense he'll avoid.

McWraps ain't cheap though. And, at least the Mikky D's I worked at did not accept food stamps. I would imagine that $800 in discretionary spending would go pretty quickly. When the medical bills add up (as they will at Chris' current consumption rate and lack of exercise), he will have no money to pay for any medication or surgery.

Chris has Medicare already due to his disability, and may end up qualifying for Medicaid too.

Do you consider dying alone and forgotten depressing? Or how about the fact that they probably won't discover his body until the house collapses?

We all die alone. Dying forgotten is depressing. As far as his body is concerned, he won't be alive to care. /existential

Quick question: has it been determined if Anna attended Bob's funeral?

Ha, please. She wasn't about to fly across the country for someone who is nothing more than a facebook chewtoy to her.

Okay, yeah I didn't know when she had moved to Utah, and some people thought Anna showed up to his trial but I guess those notions were disabused.

BTW, Rocky and Chris were working together on getting group housing for him, or at least some kind of home visits, so we'll see how that pans out.

 

[MrTroll]

BTW, Rocky and Chris were working together on getting group housing for him, or at least some kind of home visits, so we'll see how that pans out.

Once Chris realizes "group housing" isn't the swingin' bachelor pad and constant house parties he probably imagines it to be, there's no way he'll go along with it, ever.

 

[Big_Pete_33]

How is he gonna clean that hoard when he's on his own? I say he should sell what ever is sell able to a junk stores and throw out whatever won't sell. Then I would use that tug boat money to hire some exterminators. Didn't he say there were wasps in his house?

There's some kind of insect infestation, but Chris-Cha­n isn't going to do any of those things. Cleaning out the hoard or calling exterminators would require the kind of effort Chris reserves for vidya, legos and the Ever Frustrating Sweetheart Search. More likely, he'd twitter a demand to his personal fakebook army to come to his house and clean it for him. Then, when no one responded, he'd post some pity plea and crash into slumber.

Chris's immediate post-Barb future would entail something like: Chris sitting in the dark, probably stemming, holding a PS3 controller and staring at a blank screen. He clicks a few buttons, the only sound in a room that reeks of dog urine and unwashed manbaby. Occasionally the dogs bark and whine, but Chris doesn't pay them any mind. He won't until they physically prod him. Anyway, he's too busy playing level 17 of the way-past-cool Sonichu game he's invented with his very own mind, heart and MANOS.

Every now and then Chris looks up, staring blankly at the Lay-Z-Boy he found mommy in. But that memory is too painful and he retreats once again into his daydreams. Sonichu and Rosechu give him advice on finding a Heartsweet. Maybe he goes on one of the adventures he's been daydreaming about since High School. Soon enough, it's back to game playing. This has been his routine since the electricity went off.

CHris maybe a stupid cheapskate but even he knows that no electricity=no vidya

Still it's pretty sad to see some repomen coming in to discover Chris's corpse still clinging to a PS3 controller.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

I don't think it gets much more depressing than "utterly, utterly hopeless." So I guess the answer is "the most. The most depressing."

 

[soIregistered]

BTW, Rocky and Chris were working together on getting group housing for him, or at least some kind of home visits, so we'll see how that pans out.

Wait, really? Like, he actually wants to do this?

 

[BillRiley]

Every now and then Chris looks up, staring blankly at the Lay-Z-Boy he found mommy in. But that memory is too painful and he retreats once again into his daydreams. Sonichu and Rosechu give him advice on finding a Heartsweet. Maybe he goes on one of the adventures he's been daydreaming about since High School. Soon enough, it's back to game playing. This has been his routine since the electricity went off.

CHris maybe a stupid cheapskate but even he knows that no electricity=no vidya

It's not a question of what Chris knows. It's a question of what Chris is able to do. After Barb goes, well, let's just say Chris doesn't self-motiviate very well right now.

Still it's pretty sad to see some repomen coming in to discover Chris's corpse still clinging to a PS3 controller.

Nah. There won't be much left after Chris gets tired of Hungryman dinners and tries to use the stove. Or has to relight the water heater's pilot light. Or anything involving an open flame, really.

 

[Picklepower]

"Yeah, woop de do, you paid for mommy's funeral, but you couldn't find me a sweetheart from the congregation? amen, yeah right. <(=&*$@"

 

[Holdek]

BTW, Rocky and Chris were working together on getting group housing for him, or at least some kind of home visits, so we'll see how that pans out.

Wait, really? Like, he actually wants to do this?

I think so, unless he was just doing that to placate Jackie.

He understands that he won't manage well on his own, and maybe since Bob died despite what the Grim Reaper promised he knows that Barb might die before he finds a sweetheart.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I don't think Chris had any idea of what they were looking into, other than "it's a place for me based on my autism" and "not an institution". I'm sure Rocky soft-pedaled it to the extreme.
Either way, even if he got on the waiting list for it back then, it takes years and years and years to actually get any services. Whether he'll live that long is an open question.

 

[cypocryphy]

Since he doesn't like change (and he's lazy) I wonder if he just never wants to leave 14 Branchland....whether Barb and her hoard are there or not.

 

[Marvin]

Since he doesn't like change (and he's lazy) I wonder if he just never wants to leave 14 Branchland....whether Barb and her hoard are there or not.

He's pretty eager to get the hell out of there.

 

[CatParty]

Since he doesn't like change (and he's lazy) I wonder if he just never wants to leave 14 Branchland....whether Barb and her hoard are there or not.

He's pretty eager to get the hell out of there.

want to and will do are two very different things

 

[Marvin]

Since he doesn't like change (and he's lazy) I wonder if he just never wants to leave 14 Branchland....whether Barb and her hoard are there or not.

He's pretty eager to get the hell out of there.

want to and will do are two very different things

If bungholio is talking about Chris leaving in a more permanent sense, Chris would be fine with staying in 14BC long term, as long as his other goals were met. But I don't think that's too much of a surprise.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Are we talking leave forever or just leave every once in awhile to socialize? Because I can't see the former ever happening. Even if he did I don't see it ending well.

If we mean just to go out to Lego clubs or whatever, fair enough.

 

[GFYS]

I know I'm gonna get it from the pencil-dicks on this, but one remotely-possible scenario, where I can see Chris permanently leaving 14BC on his own, is if he were indoctrinated into some kind of commune group or cult. Yeah yeah, Fuck you. Bear with me on this, a second...

He's really suggestible, right? We all know how lonely he is. I think if a group of people promised that they would love him unconditionally and care for him (possibly even include him in orgies or wife shares), I can see Chris jumping on board without considering the potential risks. That part I don't see as unlikely at all... Lots of less-naive and more-intelligent people get sucked into such groups on a daily basis.

The unlikely part is that I don't see any such group viewing Chris as being a good member (he's an angry and lazy manchild with serious problems) or a good mark (he isn't worth much, and he can't work hard). Only the real zealots who think they are saving him, would ever consider taking on Chris. What makes it almost impossible is that you have to go out of your way to find these groups, and Chris can't even be bothered to find the bathroom in time not to make boom boom in his Monster High panties. Until cults start combing McDonald's for filthy obese marks, Chris is probably safe.

If Chris leaves 14BC, it's almost definitely because some external force is making him - either the house becomes uninhabitable, he loses possession of the house, a court of law orders him to live somewhere else, a court of law incarcerates him, or someone else who Chris believes has authority over him is able to pressure him into moving. Another remote chance is if a better opportunity comes up, and Chris is intelligent enough to see the benefits, but I think that's even more-remote than the cult possibility. I don't see a rich patron saint stepping up to fund it (there's no way the state of federal government would fund it, unless Chris suffers severe brain damage), and we all know Chris' tendency to throw offers of help in other peoples' faces because he doesn't want help - he wants a gift-wrapped life.

Okay, another really stupid possibility for Chris leaving 14BC for good crossed my mind...

I can see Chris going out one day for Q-sands and Fanta, coming back, and realizing he left his key on a table inside. Chris being Chris never considers the possibility of breaking in, or calling a locksmith, and lives the rest of his life in one of the cars. Yeah, I know how stupid that sounds. But, dig deep down and ask your inner cynic... No matter how far-fetched, is anything too stupid for Christian Weston Chandler?

 

[CatParty]

Okay, another really stupid possibility for Chris leaving 14BC for good crossed my mind...

I can see Chris going out one day for Q-sands and Fanta, coming back, and realizing he left his key on a table inside. Chris being Chris never considers the possibility of breaking in, or calling a locksmith, and lives the rest of his life in one of the cars. Yeah, I know how stupid that sounds. But, dig deep down and ask your inner cynic... No matter how far-fetched, is anything too stupid for Christian Weston Chandler?

I can totally see him freaking out thinking barb locked him out in that scenario. He wouldn't even be able to reach her because I'm pretty sure she's not answering the door or phone.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

I can see the cult thing. His tugboat isn't exactly Scientology money but some Jim Jones or Heaven's Gate would take that money, and lock him in a cell, and give him a "duty", like harvesting WoW gold, or sorting the M&M candies, and throwing out (eating) the W's.