How do autists integrate into normie society?

[Da Grim Reaper]

Are you living for yourself, or doing things because someone else said so?

 

[Althalus]

Unfortunate
I think I can become normie-passing if I got really into more athletic outdoor activities, as I know a guy with my same issues that's built physically and exudes positivity, easily passing as normie tbh

This is actually a good idea, no sarcasm whatsoever. As much as people will outwardly deny it, lookism is a very real thing, and people tend to give attractive and/or physically strong people more leeway in regard to minor social autism.

You can make little/no personality changes and still be treated as a "normie" on appearance alone. If you're ugly/fat, its "being a weirdo" if you are fit/attractive, then it's "being eccentric". I know this because I have been on both sides of that equation

 

[Gorilla Man]

You should consider channeling your autism into something productive and profitable, instead of anime/porn/videogames (which is what most autists end up doing)
People will overlook you being a nutcase if you are a productive member of society and you are good at what you do
If connecting to normies is too difficult, you should at least try to be somebody who they can respect and rely on
(just don't be retarded and don't let them take advantage of you)

I know some turbo autist who I play board games with
He earns more money than me on his government job, is good at organizing events and managing things, sometimes he even gets me a free beer
I'm closer to him than I am to normies, even though I don't care about his anime obsession

 

[Audit]

Unfortunate
I think I can become normie-passing if I got really into more athletic outdoor activities, as I know a guy with my same issues that's built physically and exudes positivity, easily passing as normie tbh

Step 1: Reject internet culture.
Step 2: Reject any form of sexual degeneracy, especially homosexuality/bisexuality/neopronouns.
Step 3; Be normal by imitating normal people around you.
Step 4: Apply Jordan Peterson logic. Clean your house. Dress like normal people do. Go to work. Don't sperg about fandoms at all.

You cannot fit it by trying. You fit in by not trying. Just go to church, join a club, and do the activities without putting in more effort than anyone else. Attempting to force yourself on other people is extremely offputting and is a clear sign of autism/social retardation.

And I reiterate, because you've been making these posts a lot lately, dump any behaviors you picked up on Tumblr. Being an autistic lesbian is no better than being an autistic gay furry. You might as well walk around with a bad dragon dildo stapled to your forehead as a horn. Normal people aren't stupid and you can't fool them. If anything, normal people are way more sensitive to picking up off behaviors.

 

[finallyfalling]

Look at Elon Musk. Clear autist. But people used to like him. He was autistic and embraced it and that has its own charm. Of course now he's trying to be more normal and appeal to everyone and that's backfiring hard. It just makes him look cringe and highlights how much of an autist he is. Obviously there are steps you can take to work on yourself, and you should never go full autist, but I think its best to stay true to yourself.

 

[⚞⛇⚟]

He was autistic and embraced it and that has its own charm.

I guess that he did try to appear quirky, but it was the "omg he just like me" quirky rather than the autism quirky. I would say that he still does this (naming DOGE after the dog meme, for example), but less people fall for it because the amount of controversy he got himself into makes him seem less relatable (and popular in general).

 

[Chi]

You will never be a normie, you can be "weird" or "off" in a non-threatening way and they'll just accept that as "oh that's just how sandshrew is". That's the best you'll get, you'll always be like a foreigner to them and never fully integrate, the sooner you'll accept that and be confident about it the easier it'll be, you will never be a normie, but you can always be their friend.

 

[TruffleSpark]

It depends on how severe your autism is and on how intelligent you are. The most severe non-verbal autists have basically no chance. The next rung down are the Chris Chan style high functioning autists, Chris is a particularly tragic example because he is a) stupid b) poorly socialized and c) too arrogant to improve. The Miscreants tried to bully Chris into being a normie, but this was doomed to fail. The best outcome for this group is that they direct their autistic energy into something productive. This type of person had they been born 200 years ago probably would have created an encyclopedia detailing all the different types of beetle in a certain province of Germany, but these days success for them looks like being a successful speedrunner or Sonic youtuber. They can never pass as a normie, but if well socialized they can become a well loved local eccentric who contributes to society. Then we have what they used to call "Aspergers Syndrome", OP I don't know if this helps (I'm guessing this is what you have) but Tony Atwood did a pretty good talk on how Aspergers presents differently in girls/women than what it does in boys/men.

I think Aspergers people can be normie passing if they a) are intelligent enough to learn how to develop skills that can compensate for their spergery, and b) are willing to put the effort in. But the key is that it takes a lot more effort to navigate social situations than it does for normies because they have to put conscious effort into reading social cues/understanding unwritten social norms that other people understand instinctively. So while they can hang with normies their "social battery" gets drained more quickly, and they struggle to remain is social situations for long periods of time. Aspies who mask successfully can be charismatic and popular, but if you watch them closely you will notice there is something weirdly deliberate and pre-rehearsed about how they interact with others.

 

[Sandshrew]

I won't overshare, but on the outside, I am actually pretty normal and decently attractive. I feel like I just need to be more athletic (to improve overall wellbeing and attract more growth-oriented people) and be more selective with who I hang out with, since I do hang out with people more autistic than me that haven't yet learned how to manage it. I will keep in mind all of the advice in the thread.

And I reiterate, because you've been making these posts a lot lately, dump any behaviors you picked up on Tumblr. Being an autistic lesbian is no better than being an autistic gay furry. You might as well walk around with a bad dragon dildo stapled to your forehead as a horn.

I mean, agree to disagree, as I won't try to change your opinion. But I don't think being gay inherently makes one a degenerate weirdo. I do agree the whole LGBT community pride thing is cringe, which is why I want to distance myself from those people. The only other gay person I don't hate in my life is a guy who you wouldn't even know is gay. I have no interest in furries/porn/etc, I just prefer the company of a woman. I agree with pretty much everything else you said though.

 

[Neodanthril]

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but female autism doesn't exist, It's not real.

how do you explain someone like temple grandin?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

This world is made by "normies" and for "norimies", so autists are gonna have a hard time adapting if autists even can adapt. It's why a number of autists are on disability.

That said, an autist can learn to stay out of trouble and live relatively well.

 

[Arthur_Schopenhauer]

That's the funny thing you will never look like a normie.
No matter how much time you spend observing them and seeing how they act, no matter how much effort do you put into replicating their mannerism, practicing against the mirror... they will always detect there is something wrong with you. Now there are varying degrees of autism, some mild cases can manage to look nearly normal with enough effort on their part.
Now, i am not suggesting you go full tard mode and start talking about your inuyasha fanfics with every person you see on the street (tho if you do it you will provide us with material for a thread here)
So what should you do???
-Try to act with education and respect, real life is not like high school filled with 15yo, normal people will respect you if they see you talk like an educated person.

-Try to learn a skill, people are willing to tolerate a guy who looks and talks to people in a weird manner if you provide something useful, hitting the gym is overused but there is a reason for it. Try to learn to draw, play an instrument or learn a new language (if you like it, it will become hell if you don't) and people will even have you as a valuable member of their group. (the key is something you do with your hands and is useful in many contexts, having an enciclopedic knoledge of history, videogame lore or lolcows from this site does not meet that condition) In short words, weaponize your autism.

-For the love of god don't go into lookmaxing/blackpill or similar scams, they don't work, people will not like a dude that acts like a douchebag sociopath around others and you will end without friends and hated by others (unless you are a psycho, those fuckers manage do be loved by everyone even if they treat them like shit, I suppose acting like a psycho only works if you are one)

-Have good hygiene.

-If you don't want to go to a party with hundreds of people you don't have to, it's completely reasonable, there are many normies who don't like to stay with hundreds of people they don't know.

-If you are talking to some dude (or lady) who has a really different opinion on some thing (specially if it is related to politics, believe me that shit manages to turn the biggest normie into a raging tard) don't be angry at them and don't try to powerlevel your enciclopedic knowledge of (russian warcrimes/middle east history/spanish history/american history/economic proof that marxism is a cult....) autists talking about politics have a 50% posibility of turning into lolcows, we are passionate and hard minded and don't change our beliefs with ease and that habit can break friendships and believe me if I tell you that losing a friend just because he thinks some dead fucker is better than your beloved dead fucker is not worth it.

-Don't use too many bad words (it is ironic coming from me)

-Don't follow any advice I give to you.

 

[Sandshrew]

@Arthur_Schopenhauer Yeah, I think I've come at it from the wrong angle. You're right that I shouldn't try to be Patrick Bateman and skinwalk. It's just kind of disheartening that some of my interests, which are computer-related or art-related, are infested with the worst kind of autists - the kind that do sperg about politics 24/7 and talk to you about their sexual interests. But I think I need to just be better about having boundaries with those people and only selectively hanging out with more well-adjusted of that crowd, rather than trying to change myself or give up my hobbies.

 

[Modern Audience]

You don't, all normies are evil, or they're compliant with evil. Think as you like but don't do or say anything which will get you in trouble.

 

[Otterly]

I’m not autistic, but i am, I think, a bit odd, and I don’t seem to manage a lot of this stuff well or think like other people. I’ve been told the way I think makes people uncomfortable in the past which I found upsetting because it wasn’t said kindly, but it’s been said repeatedly.
Anyhoo. My advice would be don’t try to BE them just try to manage being alongside them. It’s fine to be yourself and be a bit different, but you also need to understand the rules and how things work because society exists and people who can’t ever play along are not treated kindly. Frankly not should they be, society is a mess because we don’t police poor behaviour
This was brought home to me in glorious Technicolor when I lived to a non English speaking country for a few years and realised that all the small social clues I’d managed ok ish in the uk were different there even though it was a country people might expect had a similar culture. It was a horrifying realisation because I didn’t realise I’d been learning this, I’d never thought about it before and I realised like a cannonball to the gut that it was me, I was wrong, I was doing things wrong. I had to relearn a huge amount and because of the language gap it was so hard for me. It nearly broke me.
So don’t try to BE ‘normal.’ You’re not, and that’s ok. You just need to get the basic shape of it to be able to not alienate people, and manage in polite society. We used to have etiquette guides, and maybe we should have Swiss finishing schools for the awkward so we can learn how to get along with others better. There’s a niche industry.
Observation and practice is the key. Don’t talk too much . Let others talk, and notice how to ‘actively listen’ (look it up there’s lots online.)
OMg!
You’re kidding!
Then what happened?
No way!
That must have been incredible…
Etc.
Yes conversation can be very slow, but let people speak and don’t rush to speak yourself
People love talking about themselves. If you struggle with eye contact one thing I’ve found useful is to approach it like I’m going to draw someone and I need to see what colour their eyes are. I’m just checking the colour, I’m not making long contact and that feels better.
Just a few little things help. it’s always hard, and you’ll always feel drained. Be kind to yourself

 

[dongykung]

if you have to ask then its probably not possible all you can do is emulate normal people in your life

 

[Da Grim Reaper]

Find other autists online, meet them IRL, then bruteforce your way into society with your fellow autistic friends. Normies can't do much if autists are always together. Apes together strong. But still, don't do things because you were forced to, do things because you want to. You will end up miserable if you do things you don't actually care about just to 'be accepted' by people who are too conditional.

 

[Foghotten]

You're overthinking things. Just take care of yourself, be polite, learn to have fun, and don't be annoying, gay and needlessly violent around people.

Nobody cares that you're a normie or an autist. Just don't be a retard.

 

[Masturbator]

universarily there's no "guide" how to get social as much building connections by going where your interests click (e.g there's madmen who pulled serious bitches from fucking homestuck meetups irl), college / university is a killer starter into this since it sorts out retards who were forced into school and leaves usually more less interesting people

if question is which place you should hit first its always where you are doing what you are doing, dont go where you stick out too much e.g bars, dont go where the sincerity is forced e.g anonymous therapist staredowns

avoid people whose personality roughly truncates to being popular and shifty / hollow people on whom you cannot get any reasonable grasp, dont do anything short of usual npc dialogue with em since narcisses and lumpen alike consider any normal treatment as one sided favor generator

Going to the gym, working out does a lot for someone and changes their mindset towards life. You can strive for this if you put your mind into this. Don't fake it unless you genuinely have to, be earnest in your interests and open to trying new things as well instead of closing yourself off. You may struggle at first, but I can guarantee it will pay off in the future.

unironically gym is very good starter in life purely because exercise can fix up a lot of internal shit, swimming solved my back problems i've developed from my neet arc

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

As someone who's basically made all the mistakes, I can tell you some ways not to end up like me. But I think a good chunk of the comments here have hit on a lot of valuable things.

I think the single most important thing is honestly to put the societal approval game on the backburner. A lot of the traits that align with Aspergers/autism usually align with kids who've come from an abusive household. If you've got a good chunk of trauma, it's best for you to start working on sorting that stuff out. I overanalyze constantly and can be socially retarded at times because I didn't make deliberate choices in my life to get to a better place where my mental hangups wouldn't harm me as much. So before you try skinwalking as a normie, you have to look at the things you really want to do and more importantly, the places you don't want to be and go from there. You might have to move, bust your ass in education/a trade for a while and eat dirt but you have to tackle the main things that make you question yourself. People can see body language more than anything and if you've got "that" vibe you'll become a target for manipuation, harassment and isolation. It will take some time but getting to a better place will make you carry yourself better around others, which will make everything flow more.
I think the biggest problem I interacting with people is even when people love you for being a social retard, you still have that internalized hate from years of bullshit you project onto everyone that becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy.
"This hot girl couldn't like me, I'm a loser."
"This guy is lying when he gives me a compliment, he's just patronizing me."
That sort of Jake LaMotta-level questioning of others and lack of confidence is a serious turn-off. Especially for women. Even if it is true half of the time, not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone is looking at your entire life story and judging you when they make a random look at you.
I hate the usual cope of "you have to be your best friend" but you do have to get to a point in life where you can believe others might actually like you before you can realistically engage with society properly.

It's just kind of disheartening that some of my interests, which are computer-related or art-related, are infested with the worst kind of autists - the kind that do sperg about politics 24/7 and talk to you about their sexual interests.

Yeah but here's the best part. People can always surprise you. One of the coolest guys I know is this well-liked, built, smart guy who can totally hang with normies. But when he's around me he'll talk about romcom anime he likes or we'll agree on politics. But that didn't start by me forcing those topics on him. What I'm trying to say is people will surprise you with how similar to you they are, even if they're not wearing it on their sleeves.

avoid people whose personality roughly truncates to being popular and shifty / hollow people on whom you cannot get any reasonable grasp, dont do anything short of usual npc dialogue with em since narcisses and lumpen alike consider any normal treatment as one sided favor generator

^Ding ding ding.
Now not all normies are bad people. But just like autists, there is a type that people make fun of for a reason. If the people you find yourself arounds' main hobbies consist of gossiping and harassing classmates/coworkers, starting drama in their lives because they have no aspirations, and looking good to women, you should probably be asking yourself if you really want their approval. Don't hang out with people who very obviously peaked-in-highschool. You can still hang with the church-going crowd and watch NFL but sociopaths don't make the best friends.

Find other autists online, meet them IRL, then bruteforce your way into society with your fellow autistic friends.

Building off of that, I think being the intermediate between normies and aspies can be very nice. There were times when I didn't take a very obvious hand from well-intentioned hand from dudebros and there were times I didn't help out the guys who were obviously a bit more behind me socially. I'd say if you see someone struggling, offer them some help. Start your own gym club and invite some of the retards you know along with any normies who give you a chance.

So don’t try to BE ‘normal.’ You’re not, and that’s ok.

This is the big one. You're not them. You never will be. But it doesn't have to be the end of the world. It can be pretty hard when everyone is making small banter and you feel the real wall between yourself and them. But the right people can look and tell there's something "off" and still love you. I think the best feeling in the world is when you know there's a couple being cunts to you and you internalize it and then end up realizing that nope, everybody actually did in fact also think those people are cunts. Recognizing that even when you're weird you can be pretty normal too is pretty freeing.
Gym, obviously. Even the most sociopathic normie can respect a good pump. Especially if they see you losing weight/gaining muscle in real time.


And let's be fair. It's fine to have friends and try your best to be a functioning member of society. But don't fool yourself into thinking normies are the be-all-end-all arbiter of reality. It's kind of isolating as shit sometimes, but I for one like the fact that I think men are men, I question shit that's spoonfed to me and my biggest goals are not having 3000 friends on social media. I know there's this movement right now to convince everyone that if you're slightly different it's a moral failing and that all normal people are bastions of morality. But that's kind of fucking retarded.
By all means, be chill with people and try to get along. But don't model your entire life around a popularity contest.