how do i start a business

  • Thread starter Thread starter NQ 952
  • Start date Start date
N

NQ 952

Guest
kiwifarms.net
I am extremely dumb. How do I start a business when I have no money and no credit.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: 1 person
Pseudoephedrine and various household cleaners should get you started making something you can sell.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Recoil
Rob a bank. That usually goes over really well, and they’re insured. So everyone wins.
 
print out a bunch of free business cards and tell everybody that you got "analytics consulting business" ... make sure to give yourself some important title like "president" or such.

It also makes a difference what skin color you got and your gender, but if you are white male, don't dispair, just don your mom's underwear and identify as a proud black woman ... a lesbian at that. That should open doors for divershitty jobs, like chief devershitty officer of the inclusion department.

In this day and age experience is over rated. Run for local political office. There are many offices that are not contested. Settle in, make sure that everyone know that you are willing to lie and cheat and can be bribed. That will get you far kid.
 
just hand out business cards until people start handing you money. that's how it works in the real world. here's a template i made for you:

Untitled.png


no need to thank me. have a nice day
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Winner
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Troon Anthropologist, Mesh Gear Fox, The Fool and 9 others
Do you have a vehicle? Can you put scrap metal in that vehicle? If so you might have a bright future in taking other people's trash and scrapping it.

If not donate plasma, use plasma money to buy lottery tickets...sure fire wealth.
 
Well, that depends on what sort of business you want. The advice given will change depending on the information received- we don't even know if you want to offer goods or services. The one thing you can do regardless of these choices (and with no money/credit) is do some research in the industry for the type of business you want to start.

Putting together a well researched plan with solid financials will make people be more likely to invest despite the lack of credit.

With the scant information you've offered us, I can only echo the earlier advice to suck off strangers for money.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Imposteroak
LordKaT said:
No, I'm serious, just, you know, it's KiwiFarms. What do
Click to expand...
Define "no money"? Do you have any income? Any income to spare? Are you literally penniless? If not then take what little money you have and use it to do some shitty internet startup. You are here obviously so you have internet and some sort of device that accesses it. Make an etsy account and sell a craft of some sort. If you can't make a craft, google how to. Could start a youtube channel if you have video editing software and just string memes together. Seems to be an instant way to 100k subs and views a video.

If those aren't your cup of tea then go for the traditional business model, "find a need and fill it". Figure out what is needed in your particular market and make/do that. Start up a car wash business if you have really low funds, if you have some sort of capital, start a lawn mowing business. Put in the effort and do the work and advertise the best you can with handmade signs and grow said business. Eventually work towards a brick and mortar business.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back