How do you handle awkward silences?

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Channel my inner autist to sit quietly with a blank stare like nothing is wrong while the other person gradually loses their normie mind.

Try it, it's pretty damn funny.
 
With awkward silence. If you don't talk to me then I won't talk to you. I will assume you don't want to talk or I'm bothering you with my mouth words.
 
People who can't handle silence are usually deeply insecure and shallow, so let them wallow in their own discomfort.

And if its one of those twee nerd types who then say something like 'awkward silence' in reaction to silence I will say something very condescending to them in response like, 'only awkward if you can't bear to hear yourself think.'
 
In the past, say something random, stupid and embarrassing, or else talk about the weather. Nowadays I pretend that there's something I need to urgently look up on my phone. I love the Kindle app, I can pretend I'm looking at my important messages while reading a book and completely ignoring whatever gormless twat I'm stuck with. If that doesn't work and the twat doesn't get the message and leave, I'll develop a sudden, hacking, violent cough and direct it in their direction. That always works.
 
I make that weird noise people make when they grit their teeth and make syllables in a rhythm.
 
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