How do you handle awkward silences?

[section3teen]

I usually kick everyone around me in the mouth

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Channel my inner autist to sit quietly with a blank stare like nothing is wrong while the other person gradually loses their normie mind.

Try it, it's pretty damn funny.

 

[Foghotten]

i fard

 

[Dysnomia]

With awkward silence. If you don't talk to me then I won't talk to you. I will assume you don't want to talk or I'm bothering you with my mouth words.

 

[RACISM]

Racial slurs normally lighten up a lull in the conversation.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

People who can't handle silence are usually deeply insecure and shallow, so let them wallow in their own discomfort.

And if its one of those twee nerd types who then say something like 'awkward silence' in reaction to silence I will say something very condescending to them in response like, 'only awkward if you can't bear to hear yourself think.'

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

im typically the cause of the awkward silence, so i handle it by more awkward silence.

 

[BirdUp]

screaming

 

[xXx: State of the Union]

I tell them to listen to this hilarious song I found on Youtube

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Pull out your peepee and slap someone in the face with it.

 

[Shamefur Dispray]

love em

 

[Soup Sammiches]

I stand really close to whomever and breathe heavily in their ear.

 

[DumbDude43]

treat it like a competition
whoever breaks the silence first loses

 

[Not a bee]

Make it worse

 

[glass_houses]

In the past, say something random, stupid and embarrassing, or else talk about the weather. Nowadays I pretend that there's something I need to urgently look up on my phone. I love the Kindle app, I can pretend I'm looking at my important messages while reading a book and completely ignoring whatever gormless twat I'm stuck with. If that doesn't work and the twat doesn't get the message and leave, I'll develop a sudden, hacking, violent cough and direct it in their direction. That always works.

 

[WebLurker]

Just fart really really loudly. Breaks the tension every time.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Aim to jinx them
Dab on the last person who spoke

 

[Diamond Homonculus]

It would have been really funny if no one replied this thread.

 

[Troon_Patrol]

I make that weird noise people make when they grit their teeth and make syllables in a rhythm.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

a quiet "whoops" then shuffle out the room ...