How do you want your corpse prepared for your funeral?

Unattended Baby

Unattended Baby

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Jul 31, 2016
One day, you will die. Don't be embarrassed, it's completely normal. So it's a good idea to be prepared for the inevitable. Assuming you have people who love you, they are going to have to arrange your corpse exhibit.

When I send off to Valhalla, I would like my corpse hollowed out like a high demand container of neapolitan ice cream and stuffed with candy. Hang me up like a piñata and break me open. It'll be fun for the whole family. Afterwards, burn my remains.
 

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Depends how I die, honestly. If I go naturally want to be chucked in the woods, hopefully with enough money to keep that little plot of say a few acres as a preserve. I think for some morbid reason there's a lot of peace making it just natural. Once I'm gone I don't mind if I become literal worm food and some stray cat eats my nose.

If it's against my wishes, I want to be corpse trolling. For example, I'm murdered the person who did it sends their kid to school, oh boy a puppet show! Yea no... it's me strung up with a few weeks rot and a nice hole in my chest, promising to haunt all the kids because little Timmy's dad is a faggot who shot me.
 
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:powerlevel: Oh, just a regular ol' funeral service for me. Keep me in a coffin and play my favourite songs during my wake, so that I may feed the creepy crawlies in the ground as my final job.

Only one caveat -- the service must be properly theist Satanic to match my beliefs, else I'll stick around peeved that people wrongly assumed I'd be ok with a Christian or Catholic burial.
 
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Witlich said:
:powerlevel: Oh, just a regular ol' funeral service for me. Keep me in a coffin and play my favourite songs during my wake, so that I may feed the creepy crawlies in the ground as my final job.

Only one caveat -- the service must be properly theist Satanic to match my beliefs, else I'll stick around peeved that people wrongly assumed I'd be ok with a Christian or Catholic burial.
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Bullshit. You just got drafted into the 501st Airbone unit. Get your boots on soldier, we got a Race War to win.

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Yeah I want that Puerto Rican stuffed corpse party thing too.
 
I want to be cremated in a coffin lined with crystalline RDX.
 
Let my family decide. Could be the most ornate funeral in the history of mankind or dumped in a river. Just as long as I die peacefully I really don't care what happens next.
 
I'd like the traditional funeral rites as practiced by my religion, with one exception: rig it so this music plays from my closed casket.

 
My body will be set up in a high backed armchair wearing a smoking jacket. At my wake, attendees will be forbidden from talking about me unless they're sitting on my lap.
After the wake, I want to be cremated and my ashes sealed in heavy marble jar, which is to be thrown at Gary LeVox.
Because fuck that guy and fuck his band.
 
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