How does Chris feel about not being a virgin any more?

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Ok, enough....this is the true story:


*REDACTED* called *REDACTED*, after she found *REDACTED* in *REDACTED*, so Chris got *REDACTED* dollars from *REDACTED* after he selled him his *REDACTED* and went to *REDACTED*, when he *REDACTED* her in the *REDACTED* after wich *REDACTED* proceeded to *REDACTED* him with a pink *REDACTED* (NO DICK-SHAPED) until the *REDACTED* ran out of batteries and *REDACTED* told him to *REDACTED* and Chris CRIED. Then *REDACTED* freaked out and called the cops on him, but when they arrived at *REDACTED* Chris was already gone and they were very confused after seeing such amount of feces in the bed.






:tomgirl:
 
Chrus Chundlur said:
Ok, enough....this is the true story:


*REDACTED* called *REDACTED*, after she found *REDACTED* in *REDACTED*, so Chris got *REDACTED* dollars from *REDACTED* after he selled him his *REDACTED* and went to *REDACTED*, when he *REDACTED* her in the *REDACTED* after wich *REDACTED* proceeded to *REDACTED* him with a pink *REDACTED* (NO DICK-SHAPED) until the *REDACTED* ran out of batteries and *REDACTED* told him to *REDACTED* and Chris CRIED. Then *REDACTED* freaked out and called the cops on him, but when they arrived at *REDACTED* Chris was already gone and they were very confused after seeing such amount of feces in the bed.






:tomgirl:
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The hell?! Was this taken from the SCP website?
 
Cwckifan said:
killswitch1982 said:
So it's been a while since Chris popped his cherry. He's obviously still lonely and miserable. Do you think he still feels that losing his virginity was a big deal, or do you think that he realizes that without love being there that sex is just empty and meaningless? Do you think he feels more like a big boy now or does he realize that nothing has changed? Or do you think he loved it so much that he wants to get another whore so he can get his duck wet again, but is frustrated and bitter because Blerb won't let him escape the hoard long enough to seal the deal?
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Isn't sex supposed to be meaningful because of the connection one builds with others, instead of just the act itself? If so, then Chris probably felt pretty ho-hum (or maybe only slightly elated) after orgasm, since there's no way any kind of meaningful connection was mutually made. Really, it'd probably be like your first sexual encounter, with absolutely all traces of humanity or positive emotion expunged. Honestly, he seemed more thrilled with the 'compliments' he received than the actual sex itself!
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And of course those compliments are what every bawdy tells her John when he shoots his load.

Chrus Chundlur said:
Ok, enough....this is the true story:


*REDACTED* called *REDACTED*, after she found *REDACTED* in *REDACTED*, so Chris got *REDACTED* dollars from *REDACTED* after he selled him his *REDACTED* and went to *REDACTED*, when he *REDACTED* her in the *REDACTED* after wich *REDACTED* proceeded to *REDACTED* him with a pink *REDACTED* (NO DICK-SHAPED) until the *REDACTED* ran out of batteries and *REDACTED* told him to *REDACTED* and Chris CRIED. Then *REDACTED* freaked out and called the cops on him, but when they arrived at *REDACTED* Chris was already gone and they were very confused after seeing such amount of feces in the bed.






:tomgirl:
Click to expand...

You also forgot the part when *REDACTED* pulled out a *REDACTED* which had the *REDACTED* replaced with a *REDACTED*. The problem was the *REDACTED* had too much torque and it twisted itself out of *REDACTED*'s hand, but it was still in *REDACTED*'s *REDACTED*, so was just stuck there with it's handle spinning around.
 
killswitch1982 said:
Cwckifan said:
killswitch1982 said:
So it's been a while since Chris popped his cherry. He's obviously still lonely and miserable. Do you think he still feels that losing his virginity was a big deal, or do you think that he realizes that without love being there that sex is just empty and meaningless? Do you think he feels more like a big boy now or does he realize that nothing has changed? Or do you think he loved it so much that he wants to get another whore so he can get his duck wet again, but is frustrated and bitter because Blerb won't let him escape the hoard long enough to seal the deal?
Click to expand...
Isn't sex supposed to be meaningful because of the connection one builds with others, instead of just the act itself? If so, then Chris probably felt pretty ho-hum (or maybe only slightly elated) after orgasm, since there's no way any kind of meaningful connection was mutually made. Really, it'd probably be like your first sexual encounter, with absolutely all traces of humanity or positive emotion expunged. Honestly, he seemed more thrilled with the 'compliments' he received than the actual sex itself!
Click to expand...


And of course those compliments are what every bawdy tells her John when he shoots his load.
Click to expand...


I thought she would say "why are you reaching for that fanta?"
 
CatParty said:
killswitch1982 said:
Cwckifan said:
Isn't sex supposed to be meaningful because of the connection one builds with others, instead of just the act itself? If so, then Chris probably felt pretty ho-hum (or maybe only slightly elated) after orgasm, since there's no way any kind of meaningful connection was mutually made. Really, it'd probably be like your first sexual encounter, with absolutely all traces of humanity or positive emotion expunged. Honestly, he seemed more thrilled with the 'compliments' he received than the actual sex itself!
Click to expand...


And of course those compliments are what every bawdy tells her John when he shoots his load.
Click to expand...


I thought she would say "why are you reaching for that fanta?"
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Of course the first thing she asked him was "Is it in yet?"
 
Chris prolly spent his entire time happily fucking a hole in the mattress: and the prostitute was smart enough to not point out his mistake. *yawn*
 
Crazy Pacer said:
You mean the graphic depiction of Chris being sodomized, and a glimpse at his previously unknown puke fetish? That man has an odd idea of a sex fantasy.
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See, he came and threw up simultaneously. That's how every boy finds out he's straight.
 
This is one of those things that really, really make me miss Sonichu. I'd love to see how Chris would try to portray his encounter with a prostitute. Would it be a sweetheart? Would he power up from losing his virginity and become a Super Saiyan 69? Would Megan make an appearance as queen of the trolls and be insanely jealous that she didn't get to ride the C-train?
 
Giovanni said:
This is one of those things that really, really make me miss Sonichu. I'd love to see how Chris would try to portray his encounter with a prostitute. Would it be a sweetheart? Would he power up from losing his virginity and become a Super Saiyan 69? Would Megan make an appearance as queen of the trolls and be insanely jealous that she didn't get to ride the C-train?
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Visualize with me a badly drawn comic...

Page one - ChrisChan is doing a reverse cowgirl position to a cherokean princess. Sonichu medallion around his neck he flashes a thumbs up while declaring he's broken the seal of seals or something along those lines. Sonichu and Rosechu stand proudly arm in arm on the margins watching. Sonichu declares "I knew you could do it, Father!" while Rosechu would say how lucky the girl was to be entangled with someone as amazing as the true and honest Cwc.

Page two - the cherokean princess, being able to take no more of his vigorous thrusting, lays next to a litterally glowing ChrisChan. Afte some sweet pillow talk where she praises him for his lovemaking prowess and the size of his not bent duck, Chris declares that their powers have merged and with this virgin breaking moment his truest powers have been released and he can transform into Super Sonichu Prime. Sonichu comes in and declares that those evil trolls will never have a chance now!

Page three - Huge wall of text with Chris and Sonichu explaining the importance of how everyone should have virgin breaking moments and that he used safe sex practices. Sonichu gives some examples of safe sex. Rosechu agrees and gives some examples of her own. Sonichu says a not funny joke about doing Rosechu in the way she just talked about and Chris laughs and comments on them.

Page four - I don't care! :stupid:
 
Zim said:
Giovanni said:
This is one of those things that really, really make me miss Sonichu. I'd love to see how Chris would try to portray his encounter with a prostitute. Would it be a sweetheart? Would he power up from losing his virginity and become a Super Saiyan 69? Would Megan make an appearance as queen of the trolls and be insanely jealous that she didn't get to ride the C-train?
Click to expand...

Visualize with me a badly drawn comic...

Page one - ChrisChan is doing a reverse cowgirl position to a cherokean princess. Sonichu medallion around his neck he flashes a thumbs up while declaring he's broken the seal of seals or something along those lines. Sonichu and Rosechu stand proudly arm in arm on the margins watching. Sonichu declares "I knew you could do it, Father!" while Rosechu would say how lucky the girl was to be entangled with someone as amazing as the true and honest Cwc.

Page two - the cherokean princess, being able to take no more of his vigorous thrusting, lays next to a litterally glowing ChrisChan. Afte some sweet pillow talk where she praises him for his lovemaking prowess and the size of his not bent duck, Chris declares that their powers have merged and with this virgin breaking moment his truest powers have been released and he can transform into Super Sonichu Prime. Sonichu comes in and declares that those evil trolls will never have a chance now!

Page three - Huge wall of text with Chris and Sonichu explaining the importance of how everyone should have virgin breaking moments and that he used safe sex practices. Sonichu gives some examples of safe sex. Rosechu agrees and gives some examples of her own. Sonichu says a not funny joke about doing Rosechu in the way she just talked about and Chris laughs and comments on them.

Page four - I don't care! :stupid:
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That seems exactly like what would happen. Except that it would be a lot longer than that. Chris would drag out the Cherokee girl's ordeal for several pages before finishing. Chris doesn't have the best endurance, I'm sure, but he wouldn't want to skip what would undoubtedly be the most important event in Sonichu canon. I see Chris pulling out all the stops and going for a whole selection of easy, vanilla sexual positions (preferably ones that require the least amount of effort on his part) before he blasts the girl in the first dosage of his comeuppance.
 
I have the weirdest boner. Wait, no, it's just gas.
 
I don't think Chris lost his virginity, I think he's making shit up. I mean, look at all the lies he has told in the past.
 
Black Sonichu said:
I don't think Chris lost his virginity, I think he's making shit up. I mean, look at all the lies he has told in the past.
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It's been confirmed that he's met with a hooker. :snorlax:
 
Black Sonichu said:
I don't think Chris lost his virginity, I think he's making shit up. I mean, look at all the lies he has told in the past.
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Nah, he did.

Edit: And actually, he barely told lies in the past. Mostly he just bent the truth. He's extremely obvious when he's lying.
 
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