How does Ralph make money? - Is he a drug mule for Colombian criminals?

[Norwegian Trailer Trash]

I disagree, this is a nicer hotel than he stays at (I am too lazy to find it). The flight and a couple nights there with a hooker would eat up over half of his disposal income but he lives on cheap pills, cigarettes, and a $2 torta the other 28 days/month

Hah hahs aside, this reads like you've never planned a budget, let alone travel, run on a limited budget.

 

[Drunkensailor]

Hah hahs aside, this reads like you've never planned a budget, let alone travel, run on a limited budget.

Slight power level, after university I hitchhiked and couch surfed across the lower 48 for two years, using only the money I saved from bartending. I am well aware how cheap someone can travel, remember he crashes at paypigs houses more than he stays in hotels and his main expenditure is a new hat.

 

[Braphamut]

How does he survive?

Poorly!



He's actually pretty frugal about daily expenses. He's known to recycle urine and the bottles he puts them in.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

When it comes to cartels not touching ralph with 10 foot pole, idk tbh. I would have assumed that they just don't care because they are so well positioned, and they can make Ralph behave by just threatening to kill the damn gunt.

Ralph has a purple retard passport meaning he gets extra scrutiny every time he crosses the border. The retard passport alone rules out using him as a type of smuggler.

Ralph has no family or spouse in Mexico the cartels could use to ensure compliance from a cowardly fat American. They use people they have leverage on as patsys for dirty jobs, otherwise they can just cry to the first customs agents that asks them to step aside or disappear into the USA and never return.

The major cartels are pretty slick and don’t really need to threaten or cooperate with peons like Ralph to conduct business. Cartels are employing tractor trailer drivers, heavy equipment deliveries, trains and much more sophisticated means to import large quantities. They don’t need a dumb American with a suitcase or 2 kilos duct taped inside his gas tank.

The only use Ralph would have is to small time entrepreneurs wanting to try low level smuggling. They buy Mexican pharmaceuticals, or meth or cocaine, dirt cheap in Mexico and dream about how much money they could make selling it stateside. I’m sure Ralph has dreamed about stocking up on Xanax, or ketamine, and making extra money selling them to Dax’s crowd in LA but even he’s not stupid enough to take such a risk.

I’m sure Ralph sweats bullets just taking his “legal, Mexican doctor approved, medically necessary” number of Xanax with him on trips.

 

[sufferhorse]

xander lives literally next to one of the biggest cartel states in mexico. either way. they dont need to have him scared, because he is doing it willingly.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Doesn’t he have a crypto wallet we can watch? I know he has all those cash apps he probably begs people in private for money on.

I’m more interested in the amount of debt he’s in.

 

[Schpoots]

Probably borrowing from his brothers account. I have mentally disabled family that get 3k a month for us to take care of them. There's zero government oversight.

 

[sufferhorse]

Probably borrowing from his brothers account. I have mentally disabled family that get 3k a month for us to take care of them. There's zero government oversight.

he surrendered his brother to the state like 2 years ago. before running to merida. First he made sure to steal every last bit of inheritance from him tho. then left him to rot on an assisted cared living facility.

A lot of people have been saying that Evan has been dead for about a year now. so go figure.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I hadn't considered this, but him disappearing while travelling makes sense now. If you're smuggling drugs, you don't want your internet following to... follow you and potentially attract attention to all the condomed drugs in your butt.

 

[sufferhorse]

I hadn't considered this, but him disappearing while travelling makes sense now. If you're smuggling drugs, you don't want your internet following to... follow you and potentially attract attention to all the condomed drugs in your butt.

THIS

 

[jewsernotfound]

i fully believe ralph was smuggling xannies up to the states for mary jayne (a supporter of his who reportedly operates a cannabis farm) and for Juju.

last time when he was in the states for the big blow up between him and Juju, i think the biggest downside of that was ralph being stuck with the xanny pack that he was supposed to bring to juju. After he said piggy can't come over, his angry outburst stemmed from the fact that he now has to resmuggle the pills over the border.

he's half-heartedly/under his breath mentioned several times on the killstream how much money you can make smuggling xannies over the border. conveniently right around the time he was traveling to Juju's house too.

knowing all that, plus his recent money troubles and his loyal supporter, Adolwulf, moving in with baked alaska, i don't think it's out of the realm of possibilities that piggy's urgent trip to colombia ahead of the scheduled time was a desperate attempt to move some product for Hunter. when i listened back to the initial hunter interview, ralph said he planned on going down there in the middle of May. fast forward the 3 days he went MIA and he pops up in Colombia nearly 20 days ahead of schedule.

edit: plus, this recent weird travel pattern vs the normal fully documented ones would support him trying to lay low

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Ralph lives exactly like you would expect a broke ass American to live in Mexico.

I thought Gunt’s “missing out on $15k a day streaming” cope was funny because that could cover a year of his living in Mexico. Ralph could live very well in Mexico if he wasn’t poor and reliant on ever decking e-begging income. The fact he can only flaunt a cinderblock apt unit, tortas and occasional economy travel is proof he makes less than a Wal-Mart associate in Texas.

Ralph could live in a nice place in Merida for $1000 a month. When he still had cozy subsidizing his monthly income he and Pantsu rented an actual house, he had a shiny red truck and they ate American franchise take-out everyday.

Now Piggy is living in the dark cinderblock apartment complex for elderly snowbirds on social security. He has to walk to buy his cheap local Mexican food that has dirt bikes parked in the dining area.

Basically Ralph downgraded from being white trash in Richmond, to white trash in Merida. This is success to Ralph. He’s flexing crowded economy flights and $30 a night hotel jacuzzis with complimentary anal lube ffs.

Ralph could live large for $35k a year in Mexico. He might even be e-begging that much now, but his vices ensure he still lives West Memphis trailer park style even in the low cost third world.

Ralph’s vices and terrible decisions priced him out of North America even when he was making x3 what he manages to e-begs today. As long as Ralph can get $1k a month in donations he can maintain his lux Mexican lifestyle, just with less tortas/booze and never paying child support.

last time when he was in the states for the big blow up between him and Juju, i think the biggest downside of that was ralph being stuck with the xanny pack that he was supposed to bring to juju. After he said piggy can't come over, his angry outburst stemmed from the fact that he now has to resmuggle the pills over the border.

He just lost out on income. Ralph isn’t “smuggling” he’s just taking the maximum legal allowance of his script across the border. Probably made him $800 or something or at least incentivized Dax to see him.

It does compliment his elderly retiree on a fixed income lifestyle in Merida. Old ppl on social security also sell their prescriptions for extra money.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

He attracts valuables with his gravitational pull (because he's FAT!) and sells them at the local pawn shop.

 

[Norwegian Trailer Trash]

Slight power level, after university I hitchhiked and couch surfed across the lower 48 for two years, using only the money I saved from bartending. I am well aware how cheap someone can travel, remember he crashes at paypigs houses more than he stays in hotels and his main expenditure is a new hat.

Do you honestly think your requirements, mindset, and expectations during that period were the same as Ethan the Gunt?

I've done similar (not two years but several periods of a good amount of time) and it just isn't the same thing as how he lives.

Maybe we could get the Horse here to talk about his budgeting. It won't be the exact same since she escaped the green shack a while ago but should give insight into the particulars (simple stuff can be revealing, like buying toilet paper or paper towels in bulk instead of like 4 roles at a time, rate of going through expendable items, hygeine products, spices, cooking oil, etc).

It is cheeky to say "a $2 torta" but that isn't realistic or helpful.

 

[neger psykolog]

I have long suspected that he was moving dope, and the latest Colombia arc has made me no less suspicious. ChatGPT claims that it is common for Medellin criminals to be involved in nightlife and prostitution:

This doesn't make any sense since as far as I know (and I haven't followed Ethan very heavily) he just does xanax/benzos and alcohol. You can get that shit from pharmacies in Mexico.
If he was pushing actual "dope" then wouldn't he actually be taking hardcore drugs?

 

[Sloppa]

He attracts valuables with his gravitational pull (because he's FAT!) and sells them at the local pawn shop.

Exact opposite, Mexican children know El Gunto is like Sonic the Hedgehog when drunk, tip him over and tortas, money, phones and passports just fly out of his pockets.

 

[jewsernotfound]

He just lost out on income. Ralph isn’t “smuggling” he’s just taking the maximum legal allowance of his script across the border. Probably made him $800 or something or at least incentivized Dax to see him.

It does compliment his elderly retiree on a fixed income lifestyle in Merida. Old ppl on social security also sell their prescriptions for extra money.

that's an important note to make.

he probably relies on the legalities of bringing his own maxed out scripts

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

idk I think he could be smuggling. You could probably fit 5-6 bricks in the cavity beneath his gunt apron and the smell will ensure no customs agent never comes close to it.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Exact opposite, Mexican children know El Gunto is like Sonic the Hedgehog when drunk, tip him over and tortas, money, phones and passports just fly out of his pockets.

Literal cowtipping... Dios mio...

 

[Sloppa]

idk I think he could be smuggling. You could probably fit 5-6 bricks in the cavity beneath his gunt apron and the smell will ensure no customs agent never comes close to it.

Absolute speculation on my part, but I wonder if part of Pantsu's flight, was because Ralph wanted to become a drug mule across the border? As someone mentioned, the Cartel would need a "collateral" in the form of his wife and baby to stop him from cutting a deal with the FDA (which he absolutely would), He could launder/explain his income through the KieelStreaaDotTayVhay, his regular visits across the border could be explained through his spite-visits to see his spite-children. He would have the means to receive the offer of being a mule through his drug dealer.

All he would have to do is put a balloon full of drugs up his rectum, get on a plane and *bingo* him and Pantsu are hood rich. But even in Pantsu's bird-brain, she recognised the near certainty of Ralphy getting drunk and zannied out, shitting his pants on the plane, queefing meth/cocaine/fent sharts everywhere, getting arrested by the Feds, squealing like a little piggy for less time, dooming Pantsu and Rozy.tv to be chopped up and turned into torta meat.