How is the kiwi above you in bed?

[QB 290]

kept shouting "shia labeouf"

 

[DrJonesHat]

Honestly wasn't impressed. Just laid there like they were dead.

 

[WW 635]

Kept asking me to "ride [him] like a cowboy" after swallowing a bottle of pills

 

[Xenomorph]

Tried to shove a fox tail dildo up my ass

 

[CaptainMappy]

Had a fucking Pusheen buttplug in their ass

 

[GS 281]

Arizonans are great in bed fam

 

[Pina Colada]

Gave a whole new meaning to "ferret-legging".

 

[DoshesToDoshes]

Was like fucking an air freshener.

 

[CephalopodEnthusiast]

Weirdest sex I've ever had.

 

[FataBataRang]

The tentacles were a bit much.

 

[Doctor Professor Timon]

The tentacles were a bit much.

It was rich and rewarding.

 

[Bassomatic]

First time outside of a game of fall out did I trade sex for bottle caps.

 

[cypocryphy]

Fucked me in the ass with that heavy bass.

 

[MrJakeTerror]

insisted I not wear a condom, than we smoked doobies and watched Pete & Pete

 

[Abethedemon]

That's the last time I'm inserting a guitar into my rectum

 

[Cake Farts]

Wanted me to recite the emancipation proclamation while fucking a niggo. Pretty adventurous.

 

[Alberto Balsalm]

What the hell was I doing?

 

[ES 148]

Kept using all their own branded products in an attempt to be provocative, but neglected to mention they were just taking mine off the shelf. 0/10

 

[Geeee___]

Thought he/she/zhe/ze was a male prostitute selling for -30 bucks and half a bag of gummy worms
1/100

 

[Syaoran Li]

Fucked me without the courtesy of a reach-around. Also gave me flashbacks to Urotsukidoji.