How is the kiwi above you in bed?

[Antipathy]

Kept saying he'd "bomb my WTC". Intrigued, I invited him over.

Turns out "bomb" meant "ejaculate in" and "WTC" meant "cat".

5/10

 

[Ntwadumela]

He's lying. I didn't ejaculate in a cat.
I brought hookers over so I ejaculated inside the pussy (vagina) of one of them.

 

[Cosmos]

He kept trying to convince me that I should convert to Islam, so I had to pull a Deus Vult on him. 10/10, I got to put on my medieval armor.

 

[c-no]

10/10 Pure Cosmic waifu in the sheets.

 

[Antipathy]

Had a heart attack on the bed. Surgery successful.

10k and a decent time. 8/10.

 

[Diagonally slanted shelf]

He did a prostate exam on me instead

 

[Assorted Nuts]

Can't remember a damn thing, like someone wiped my mind.

?/10

 

[MistressCaridad]

He faked the news, I faked... other things.
1/10

 

[ShittyRecolor]

She swinged my rubbery body around like a nunchaku, and together we defeated a bunch gangstas straight out of a '70s blaxploitation flick while a mix of funk, disco and acid jazz was constantly blasting in the distance. At the end of the day we were standing atop a pile of unconscious drug lords while bathing in the warm, peach light of a glorious Chicago sunset. While our boss was not okay with our reckless methods, he couldn't argue with the results, so we even got our badges back, making all the bruises I had suffered during the kerfuffle worth it. How she knew this exact scenario is my main fetish is anybody's guess, but I appreciate my kinks being catered to.
Sweet Sweetback's Badasssss Song/10

 

[Reynard]

His pronouns tell of what he asked me to do in bed in regards to shit.

 

[Ntwadumela]

Lived in a nice mansion, so it was enjoyable fucking him in a king-size bed.
10/10

 

[Meat_Puppet]

How could you? You know I told you I'm not that kind of girl. But you went and did it anyways. I know I should be ashamed and talking about it again is giving me second thoughts. Maybe we can do it again sometime? 10/10

 

[Reynard]

Was very polite, always using ettiquite when pegging me.

 

[Burgers in the ass]

Great sex, but I got covered in hairballs by the end of the it, not that its bad.
11/10

 

[c-no]

6/10. Not as good as Vagineer.

 

[GS 281]

fag/10

 

[c-no]

0/10. Yawning during sex is a big turn off.

 

[ShittyRecolor]

Round two with the Pugillistic Preacher!

His pickup line was quite amusing: "Hey there babeh, want me to wing it?" Of course, back then I had no idea that by "winging it" he meant to fist me with his wing-tentacles so thoroughly my whole digestive system got straightened out. On the flip side, now I can use my intestines as a projectile weapon like a sea cucumber. I think I've finally found my identity as a masked crime fighter...

Can you not hear them?! Every person congregated in this place now desires, as one heart, salvation. They are eagerly awaiting the time of God's victory!/10

 

[Deadpool]

He's a weird rubbery chicken man. The sex was akward and weird, so pretty much like any sex I have. 6/10 might do again if I was drunk.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Had a hard time focusing and was talking to people that weren't there but left me a nice gift basket I did not see them come in with. 6/10