How to Get a Goth Gf - A practical guide from an expert.

[Marche]

The modern goth girl does not exist, they went extinct around 2011 when the last of the ones who were around during the emo/scene/punk/goth boom of 2006 matured past the need for chasing an identity.

There is a reason why every single "goth" today is either a 30 year old transexual who is skinwalking as the girl who rejected him in high school or a zoomer with an onlyfans.

So do you really want a goth gf?

I got a handjob by a goth girl when I was 16 btw.

 

[Absolutego]

Bros I keep stocking the trap out front with clove cigarettes and fried food and they just aren't biting.
Am I going to have to fake an interest in Simple Plan and the Cure to reel her in? They're both decent music but I'm too much of a normie to listen to Disintegration while chain smoking and musing on life's particulars.

 

[Marc]

The OP is the best I've read since the Garth Brooks PG thread our faggot staff deleted. Thanks for taking the time, @CornBogFitz .

 

[grump]

Even if this was serious aren't goths basically dead as a subculture for the last 20-30 years? Especially for chicks who are much less likely to to be into niche things than guys? All you'll have to pick from are mostly middle aged women in their 40-50s

 

[Silly Milly]

It always leaves me feeling like im missing out because I dress and act mostly normal/slightly upscale, spend most of my time in the gym or at work, but I actually love goth and metal music. I could probably talk to a girl for hours about music if she’s not a poser who just listens to deftones. But I don’t think most of them are interested in me, trying to approach or inculcate myself also seems difficult as im approaching my late 20s. I really just want a metal chick.

 

[CornBogFitz]

If I want a girl who is into horror as a general genre that colors their interests, hobbies and lifestyle vibrantly dark; is goth even the way to go? From the way you wrote your post it feels like this is how to hook up with a goth chick; not have a goth girl friend.

Ask em if they want to come to your place and watch the movie “craft” holy shit. One chick invited me to her place to watch it. Craft is fight club for goth bitches. Also if they ask you have NEVER seen ANY Tim Burton animation film. They’ll want to show it to you right away. They will pull out their calendar and shit

Even if this was serious aren't goths basically dead as a subculture for the last 20-30 years? Especially for chicks who are much less likely to to be into niche things than guys? All you'll have to pick from are mostly middle aged women in their 40-50s

While OG goths are old now. The aesthetic is not dying. Girls will always at very least dress goth for a night

There is no option in the poll for "Visigoth". I am disappointed.
I find it funny that the goth subculture is becoming so memed on the past few years. When I was young back in the 90s, it was already on its way out, being replaced by the industrial scene (both of which are conflated as "goth" in this internet revival).

Oddly, while it's experiencing a revival on the internet and in pop culture, I've yet to see much of the actual "scene" returning. I don't see people wearing gothic fashions in public, but that may be because I'm in Hawaii (I was in college in Seattle when I actually took part in the scene). I do hope it experiences a real revival. It's not often that there's a youth subculture that doesn't end up a celebration of hard drugs and abject stupidity nowadays.

It is mainly because of dress codes for work. Once you get into the scene you will start to understand. I know many 24 hour lifestyle goths. But they can only be things like tattoo artist, model, or rockstar

 

[Morch Ponkey]

Bring clove cigarettes for +1 to your seduction roll vs goth girls.

 

[CornBogFitz]

It always leaves me feeling like im missing out because I dress and act mostly normal/slightly upscale, spend most of my time in the gym or at work, but I actually love goth and metal music. I could probably talk to a girl for hours about music if she’s not a poser who just listens to deftones. But I don’t think most of them are interested in me, trying to approach or inculcate myself also seems difficult as im approaching my late 20s. I really just want a metal chick.

Tbh the Fomo is in ur head. I know it’s easy to say coming from someone that’s had it. But this thread is to learn how to nail. You don’t want a goth chick as a permanent thing. It’s like eating icecream for breakfast. You’ll like it but it will make you unhealthy

 

[CornBogFitz]

Bring clove cigarettes for +1 to your seduction roll vs goth girls.

This is ABSOLUTELY true. They go by BLK in America now. They’re also called goth cigarettes. You give one of those to someone they will buy you a drink after a while.

 

[CornBogFitz]

The modern goth girl does not exist, they went extinct around 2011 when the last of the ones who were around during the emo/scene/punk/goth boom of 2006 matured past the need for chasing an identity.

There is a reason why every single "goth" today is either a 30 year old transexual who is skinwalking as the girl who rejected him in high school or a zoomer with an onlyfans.

So do you really want a goth gf?

I got a handjob by a goth girl when I was 16 btw.

Just because you’re not getting handies in 2024 doesn’t mean goths are gone. Cope

 

[Monsieur Guillotine]

Let's be honest.

Step 1; Have access to drugs

 

[whatever I feel like]

they hate every aspect of the subculture that isn't dressing like a stripper and heroin.

me too

 

[CornBogFitz]

Terrible advice, BPD's will just escalate until they get a response, and if you seem weak or avoidant, they won't be able to help themselves but to abuse the fuck out of you. If you're committed to the 'ignoring all outbursts' strategy eventually you're going to get stabbed.

Firmly set your boundaries, ruthlessly police those boundaries, and gently introduce her to DBT if she's not already using it.

You are absolutely right. However if you are being passive and they are escalating everyone assumes THEY are the weird one. I’ve had a girl threaten to stab me. She had what’s called “schitzo effective bipolar disorder” remember you are stronger than a woman. I was able to de-escalate though. Remember this is still a guide to sticking your dick in crazy. While it is fucking amazing. It’s still Russian roulette

 

[CornBogFitz]

Bros I keep stocking the trap out front with clove cigarettes and fried food and they just aren't biting.
Am I going to have to fake an interest in Simple Plan and the Cure to reel her in? They're both decent music but I'm too much of a normie to listen to Disintegration while chain smoking and musing on life's particulars.

You can’t fake interest. People can pick up on fake energy. But you CAN be curious about them. Remember treat this as a game. Because it is. Ask them questions and let them teach you. Whether you like it or not you are learning. Curiosity is the greatest indicator of intelligence. Be smart. Be humble. Be patient. Be kind

 

[CornBogFitz]

Let's be honest.

Step 1; Have access to drugs

Actually I was really surprised about this. Yes and no. While drugs will help with perhaps the pastel goth. It won’t with the others unless you’ve already won her over and are in a private setting with the others. I had drugs and often the goths turned their nose. And looking back it makes sense. One girl turned down coke, later I found out she smoked a bowl of meth. Goths are superficial. And drugs make you look bad. Be super DL if you’re doing drugs. They will get you anywhere with rave bitches though

 

[SofondaCox]

We, the thoroughly embarrassed few, the True and Honest punk for life goth chicks.

Be funny. Be the antidote to our pessimism. Don’t physically cringe when The Murder Junkies come on the playlist. First date should always involve trespassing, or a local show.
Don’t get drunk or wasted, be a force for control and rationality. Have a big dick (sorry). If you make any kind of art, at all, share it. Create something. If that simply isn’t available to you? Make sure your destructive tendencies manifest in things that are morbidly beautiful and romantic. Like explosions. Or conflagrations. Be stoic, and capable of shocking violence.

Your trap is now set, the chasm will find you. Simply fill it up!

 

[CornBogFitz]

We, the thoroughly embarrassed few, the True and Honest punk for life goth chicks.

Be funny. Be the antidote to our pessimism. Don’t physically cringe when The Murder Junkies come on the playlist. First date should always involve trespassing, or a local show.
Don’t get drunk or wasted, be a force for control and rationality. Have a big dick (sorry). If you make any kind of art, at all, share it. Create something. If that simply isn’t available to you? Make sure your destructive tendencies manifest in things that are morbidly beautiful and romantic. Like explosions. Or conflagrations. Be stoic, and capable of shocking violence.

Your trap is now set, the chasm will find you. Simply fill it up!

Don’t worry about a big dick. Average is fine. Big dick is a curse. My girlfriend literally bought me “bumpers”

 

[Klaptrap]

Not anymore, this guide's outdated by 15 years. They listen to shit like lil peep and think aggrotech is scary and deathrock is boring.

Hey now! Lil Peep FUCKS. It does seem more like sadboy/ emo girl shit than goth tho

Average is fine. Big dick is a curse. My girlfriend literally bought me “bumpers”

Girl inches are real. Wtf is a bumper? Is this an actual product they make for actual people or is she rigging something up for you out of random household items?

I recently saw a Twitter thread where a small but notable contingent of women were talking about how 3 inch ones hit just right. Goes to show there's someone out there for everyone I guess..

 

[CornBogFitz]

Hey now! Lil Peep FUCKS. It does seem more like sadboy/ emo girl shit than goth tho


Girl inches are real. Wtf is a bumper? Is this an actual product they make for actual people or is she rigging something up for you out of random household items?

I recently saw a Twitter thread where a small but notable contingent of women were talking about how 3 inch ones hit just right. Goes to show there's someone out there for everyone I guess..

Bumpers are basically silicone rings that are 1/2 - 1 inch thick and you put them on your dick so you don’t impale your partner.

 

[Jerry1337]

Very nice post OP, I really enjoyed reading it.
However, I want to share some of my experiences with you when it comes to goth women.

Most of them, if not all of them are really liberal when it comes to politics. This paired with their personality disorders is really not a fun thing to be fucking with. I have been in situations where me just mildly talking about politics or social issues with them that don't go well with their agenda, made for a big shitstorm. They will almost always try to make it into a big drama, even if you were just stating your opinion. I highly recommend not talking politics with goth girls who have BPD or some other shit.

If you're really dedicated to getting a goth gf, be prepared to fight off a lot of exes and simps circling those girls. The best way to cut off most of them is by:

• Being 18 years old or older
• Being financially independent (AKA have money)
• Smoking cigarettes
• Not being boring to be around.
• Wearing dark clothing with some obscure metal band logos and shieet.
• (Optional) Dyeing your hair black.
• (Optional) Having weed on you 24/7
• (Optional) Be tall.

Also, try to become their "sugar daddy". Buy her alcohol, cigs and monster energy drinks. With those things, you'll be having an easier type cutting off most of those pussyboys circling her, and you'll be having an easier type getting more goth pussy.
WARNING: DO NOT BE SUBMISSIVE. THE ONLY SITUATION WHERE YOU WOULD WANT TO BE SUBMISSIVE WITH A GOTH GIRL IS IN BED. GIRLS WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE A MAN WHO'S SLIGHTLY MORE ASSERTIVE AND DOMINANT.

Be aware that there are almost no "real" goth girls nowadays. I have been running more and more into situations where goth girls don't know basic shit about their own subculture. Basic shit like: Bauhaus, New Order or even fucking The Cure.
I am very sorry to admit it, but goth as a subculture is dead. It's only a trend and a fetish among normies.