Culture How to hide a promiscuous past from your new man - Sometimes the sex is so slammin' you can't risk scaring him off. Here's what you gotta do.

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How to hide a promiscuous past from your new man- https://archive.ph/uZnLn

Sometimes the sex is so slammin' you can't risk scaring him off. Here's what you gotta do.

February 27, 2022 by LULZ

First of all, let’s make one thing perfectly clear: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a slut. The fact is that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, and in this year of 2022, people are free to experience sex no matter their color or creed.

Also, your current partner is the only person it could possibly concern, and that means that a wild ride is by definition the past.

In an ideal world, men wouldn’t care about our Number whatsoever. But seeing as this is still a White Supremacist patriarchy, we’re going to go ahead and assert that men absolutely will find issue with a woman having scored numbers on the higher end of the slut spectrum.

Related: 11 warning signs that a guy is an insecure beta

And sometimes the sex is so good you can’t risk scaring him off. This tutorial is for those times. Here’s what you gotta do.
#1. Try to find out the number of people he has slept with!

If it’s more than what you’ve bagged so far, chill. You don’t have to say anything.
#2. Lie. It’s that simple.

IMPORTANT: And then, follow up with an almost virginal act — but don’t overdo it.
#3. Tell all, if you must — but with a twist!

Like promoting a couple of bonks to an old boyfriend status… that way you can get down to telling tales of about two or three men in total.
#4. Tell the truth? MAYBE…

Some men are actually not bothered by a woman’s ‘lively’ past. But before you tell all, be sure that you are dating one such. How do you find out? Well, is he HAWT?
#5. Pretend past lovers were terrible.

And even if you have decided to reveal everything, remember that when you did, you didn’t enjoy it very much either. It’s not that it didn’t mean anything…, it’s just that with him it means so much more. So tamper your truth-or-dare with a bit of “baby, you’re the best”… always goes down well.
#6. And say they abused you.

Don’t let your man think too critically when you’re being creative with the truth. Toy with his emotions by hinting, or even saying outright, that a lot of these old “boyfriends” abused you.
#7. Do your cyber op sec and do it right.

You already knew to prune any evidence from your social media, but I bet you didn’t know you should also create a plausible cover story for missing information or blocks of time.

Blaming it on an ex hacking and vandalizing your accounts after a bad breakup is the good old trusty, but you can really cook with your creative juices here. The more elaborate and preplanned the story, the harder it will be to crack for your new dude’s prodding questions. Have an answer to every question. Most importantly — have fun!
#8. And finally: always bring trusted friends in on the conspiracy.

One more thing, make sure your friends are briefed. You don’t want to be in a social situation where one of them suddenly blurts out, “Do you remember when we were in Ibiza and you did it with three men on one night?” in front of your man.
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Hadn't realized how short this article was with the graphics removed. 🤔
 
That neurosurgeon isn't nearly as smart as he thinks he is i'd say. Its also a bit concerning that somebody in that field is that stupid. I'm not sure i'd want him digging around in my head

That said, anybody fucking that many people and keeping autistic tier spreadsheets about it is doing so for a reason, not just to brag about it. Thats the kind of thing a person does when they're planning to set somebody up for blackmail at some point or do something manipulative with them. Speaking of which, i'd say shes setting said idiot doctor up to divorce him for some major money. It fits with that kind of behavior, and i'd also say thats a best case scenario for her intentions

If that guy has any sense at all he'll get a lawyer to dig into her background real quick, get a restraining order and buy a gun the moment the inevitable happens and she files divorce papers, just in case. thats predator tier shit
While I did keep a relative "hands off" approach other than occasionally driving, I did also make an attempt to inform the neurosurgeon of the personified claymore he was about to walk in front of. He wasn't hearing it and I washed my hands of the matter.
Fucking red flag. Thats predatory manipulative behavior right there. Thats not a 'too stupid/lazy to get the pills' situation that was intentional manipulation to make people think she was. She's playing those around her like she does with the people she has sex with. She was testing your reaction to see how you would respond to it to see if she could get you to do what she wanted, whether you'd put up with it and whether you suspected anything was off about it. I'd bet money on that woman being a legit psychopath that had you doing exactly what she wanted you to


No, its about a) knowing whether you should expect said partner to be a walking STD factory and therefore put your health at risk by believing anything they tell you, b) knowing whether they have a questionable history that might come back on both of you sooner or later, like some psycho ex showing up to start something and c) whether you can trust said partner to be honest with you at all. and no, none of that has anything to do with someone being 'insecure.' When you started that relationship you made it their business
Manipulation was a big part of her character but I'm hesitant to go as far as saying psychopath. When I say she occasionally bought me food I mean that I was pretty much sole beneficiary of the $800 in meal plan funds she got every semester for her scholarship. She was anorexic to the point I'm fairly certain her diet was solely booze and semen. As you might guess it was also more problem drinking than social drinking. Between drunken admissions and me being exactly the type of asshole to go through her phone while she was passed out in my room, I was able to get a pretty clear picture of the lies and truths she was telling me. As a somewhat detached observer I also think I was able to get unique insight into the lies she was telling herself.

I know from situations where I couldn't drive and she needed to reach out to other people that this was actually something she needed to work out. I wouldn't say it was laziness/stupidity but that she was there for an MRS degree and what happens happens. I was also able to see the unmistakable presentation of a manic episode precipitated by marijuana and hallucinogens. These were either genuine or the level of commitment to the bit requires too much humanity for a psychopath to manage. The "swan song" of this little observation endeavor was her manic psychosis that lead to her formal bipolar diagnosis. We had not spoken in nearly a year when I get a video chat from my dear friend, obviously blackout drunk and stark naked. Thankfully she had reached out to tell me the glowies were about to get her because a local friend had put things in motion to get her committed. I'd think someone with more control wouldn't choose to be so sloppy.
 
Ah you're right; my error, I even chuckled at that line.

My commendation on your restraint if she was as good-looking as you indicated.
 
These days it doesn't take long to find out the satire can be real.
View attachment 3134877

Sir, I'd humbly like to offer you a position as Chief of Marketing and Departmental Head of Quality Control for my upstart white race traitor piece of human shit slave market.

Besides full health/dental coverage, we offer an employee assistance program, company vehicles, and monthly travel stipend. 10% bonus for white whores attending college/university with 15% bonus if the whore has a baccalaureate, or higher degree.
 
While I did keep a relative "hands off" approach other than occasionally driving, I did also make an attempt to inform the neurosurgeon of the personified claymore he was about to walk in front of. He wasn't hearing it and I washed my hands of the matter.
Isn't that the stereotype? That the surgeon is the chud of the medical profession? The cerebral brainiacs go into diagnostic medicine and do drug math and shit. The surgeon is like an boutique craftsman or a musician or something, nothing but fine motor skills, a cool head and a shit ton of practice.

... but also pussy is more blinding than those lights they put in the operating room.

I've long since realized there was a reason almost all of our ancestors universally held women as the moral inferiors of men. Because a lot of them are.
How can you be moral if you are weak? A butterfly is capable of no harm but is it moral? or has it simply not been tested?

It's like that cake song. "Without the pretty pink ribbon, you would end up just like me." If men wheren't around to be men, women would have to fill the gap and adapt to those niches and they would cease to be women.
 
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These are all such terrible mind-numbing advice that this can only be satire--but then you know there are people who already do this, and there are vapid whores who're taking this to heart.

Also this pretty much says that nothing on LULZ is supposed to be satirical.
2022-04-01 23.01.23 lulz.com f5071bc2700f.png

*sigh*
 
What sucks is she gets her happy ending after duping that guy. What a world.
Let's hope her children have happy endings.

And I mean actual happy endings, not the ones you get in those seedy massage parlors because your life is a wreck.
 
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Let's hope her children have happy endings.

And I mean actual happy endings, not the ones you get in those seedy massage parlors because your life is a wreck.

I never understood that, apparently you are so shit at jacking yourself off you need someone else to do it? wtf.
 
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