@Somari1996 attempts to push @Dicaprio Delorean into a fiery pit with a hadouken, but Dicaprio Delorian is too busy trying to skate or die to notice. This goes on for about an hour until they both get bored and go home. Where Somari hangs himself and Dicaprio has an ice cold Mr. Pibb as a reward for successfully choosing skating instead of dying.
Only he realizes halfway through his soda that he willingly chose to drink Mr. Pibb instead of the obviously superior choice, Dr.Pepper. He then proceeds to take a bath with a toaster because only the sweet release of death can erase the vile taste of Mr. Pibb.
Winner: Technically @Dicaprio Delorean, but @Somari1996 didn't lower themself to drinking Mr. Pibb. So I'm going to give this one to Somari.
@Alto wins without much hassle, courtesy of running @Captain_Asshole over with her doggie spaceship.
If @Alto is not a dog in a spaceship, however, @Captain_Asshole turns her into one and shoots her before she can get to her spaceship (which she only knows how to work as a dog) to run him over.
@MistressCaridad and @Shokew get involved in a gang war in Detroit down an abandoned basketball court. Since @MistressCaridad has superior weaponry given to her from Soviet Russians, she ultimately ends up decimating @Shokew after he wiped out half of her gang.
@Ntwadumela wouldn't even fight, he'd just sick his lion on @MistressCaridad. Unfortunately, since the latter lost her POC card, she has no defense against the lion.
@Cricket snipes the ever-loving crap out of @glass_houses, because
1) glass is an inanimate object.
2) Even if she could move and fight, glass don't last long against bullets.
3) TARGET PRACTICE.
@Bob Page ends up losing due to @Shokew letting the world burn, incinerating the gas facility he used to gas pedophile midgets like @Mikemikev with it.
@Ntwadumela vs. @Bob Page
Ntwadumela sends in his lion to kill Bob
Bob locks the lion in his gas chamber with some other SJW cuckhold
Bob page takes out a pistol and shoots at Ntwadumela's dick
Bob misses, because Ntwadumela's dick is too small. (one of the perks of having a tiny dick)
The bullet instead, hits Ntwadumela's fannie pack, and a huge wave of spaghetti is unleashed