How would you kill the above poster?

[BILLY MAYS]

 

[Elijah]

I'd fucking squeak you to death

 

[Scratch This Nut]

I can't because you're a fucking water bear.

 

[YI 457]

Tearing his nuts.

 

[DoshesToDoshes]

Inserting nuts.

 

[Abethedemon]

I'd tie you up to a wall and bore you to death.

 

[lolwut]

I'd invite you to see Our American Cousin.

 

[A Skeleton]

Toss you into the blender to make a nice smoothie

 

[Overcast]

Something something BAD TIME something something.

 

[MrTroll]

An alpaca with dynamite hidden under its lush wool coat. You'd get up close to pet it and BAM! The perfect crime.

 

[exball]

Scream Julay while beating you to death with a giant pickle.

 

[Bugaboo]

Attach you to the ceiling fan and never take you down

 

[voiceguy]

I would lock you in a room. Every day I would come in and -- starting with your toes -- cut off one inch of your body and immediately cauterize the wound. I would continue like this every day until you kill yourself to escape the torturous pain. When the police come, I would tell them, "She said she was into self-mutilation but I never expected anything like this." The perfect crime.

 

[APerson]

Have Chris-chan read Twilight to you in his HelloLadyFans voice, in a room with sharp objects hanging from the ceiling just out of reach. Eventually, you dehydrate.

 

[AN/ALR56]

I would marry you and together we would lead a happy,long life until we died together of old age

 

[admiral]

Cactus up the arse. I like to keep things simple.

 

[grilledcheesesandwich]

I'd become business partners with you, and when we're on top of the world I'll assassinate you so the company's fortune can be mine.

 

[Surtur]

I'd smother you with my beard.

 

[Abethedemon]

I'd make him MM (Maim Master) a game of FATAL

 

[Tranhuviya]

Bullet to the head.