How you want a Lolcow’s saga to end vs how a Lolcow’s saga is most likely to end

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YandereDev.

How I want it to end: Someone actually reports this degenerate to the police, they come with a warrant, but Alex doesn't open the door. They break in and find him burning SSD in a microwave. They arrest him and the forensics are able to decipher some data which turns out to be all jailbait pictures. Some brave soul files FOI request and we get videos from his house, full of real dolls and interrogation footage where he tries to explain the concept of sex license to the detectives. The fucker ends up in a jail, the girl he tried to groom gets the closure she always wanted and his "game" is forever remembered as the product of a pedophile. People keep sending him letters to jail, taunting him that his game will be in development Hell for another "20 years to life".

How it will end: He will drag this pile of spaghetti for a couple more years, then will either try to launch a crowdfunding campaign and fail or just say "I don't care anymore" and just drop it to make some other games that will never be. Some of his simps will follow him around, but otherwise he will be less than obscure, just a little footnote in the internet lore.

Onision.

How I want it to end: There is finally some bulletproof evidence of him doing something bad to minors, that gets him jailed. His wife gets a sentence too, albeit a shorter one and loses custody. Their children get in a foster care of their grandparents with names changed, so they will never be associated with those freaks ever again. His victims finally get the deliverance they always wanted. Greg becomes prison bitch and kills himself.

How it will end: He will probably lose a civil suit, declare himself bankrupt and run away, leaving his family behind.

Chris.

How I want it to end: He gets locked up somewhere where no one from the outside can have contact with him. Being a nobody becomes a torture for someone as narcissistic as him, but it's too late. Everyone gives up and the main Saga of Chrises life comes to an end. Years later we get the news that Christian Weston Chandler has died, but no one cares.

How it will end: Chris gets scott-free and is released to the public. Whiteknights and enablers take pity on him and give him money just to keep the show going, even though it's even less funny than post-troon Chris. Despite years of abuse, his body keeps going for years and he becomes something akin to couch surfing one-man-IP2, only many times more depraved and degenerate. At some point this puts him back in jail, but he again walks free and continues this cycle until he dies.

Wings of Redemption.

How I want it to end: Despite her selfish motives, Kelly leaves Richard and since at this point she is a breadwinner of the house, he becomes absolutely desperate, can't afford meds anymore, which ends in a streaming spree full of insults, rages, screams and controller throws. In the end of this he gets a heart attack on air and dies. His animals are given to better owners.

How it will end: Richard goes the route of every washed up internet toxic celebrity, his viewerbase dwindles to the point when it would be better to get a job, but he finds excuses not to, living off his wife. He eats himself to 600lb and dies of something related. Kelly gets his share of modular mansion and waits for his mother to die to get hers too.


Ethan Ralph.

How I want it to end: Ralph hits rock bottom and everyone thinks he is about to kill himself on stream. Suddenly he starts laughing and looks into the camera, saying "I got you, didn't I?" While ahogs are trying to wrap their heads around it, suddenly Sam Hyde walks in and starts laughing with Ralph. It was all just a ve-e-e-ry long stunt with Sam pulling strings from behind the scenes, think Jace but 100 times more autistic. Stream goes dark, his remaining social media and website disappear, leaving everyone absolutely mindfucked for weeks to come.

How it will end: Ralph hits rock bottom and everyone thinks he is about to kill himself on stream. He does.

Chibi.

This, but I think he will just thirst over thots on Twitter until the day he dies, since he has next to nothing to offer to women of his age.
How I want it to end: Shot at a speedrunning event gone wrong while wearing his lowest effort KH cosplay. Chibi didn't notice the gunman because he was too busy thirstposting after fake e-prostitutes on Twitter.

Most likely ending: Busted for pedo-adjacent activities, never to be seen again.

DSP.

How I want it to end: Phil becomes full-time game journalist, thus becoming the only man among them who can actually play games and not bitch about lack of negroes and trannies.
How it will end: Whimper instead of a bang, either complete obscurity or a sudden death.

Kero the Wolf.

How I want it to end: He gets a fever and goes to ER, only to find out that he contracted a rare flesh-eating bacteria from his late dog. He dies in agony days later.
How it will end: There is an alarming number of furfaggots who are ready to have him back after what he did, so it won't end for a very long time.
 
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Subject - King Cobra JFS (Joshua Faye Saunders).

How I want it to end - Redemption ark where he stops drinking himself into a stupor and stops abusing any drug he can get his grubby little mitts on including huffing aftershave. He'll never be "normal" and hold down a job but he could do something artistically productive with his time OR get a part time job and do something ANYTHING other than sitting alone and isolated letting his malfunctioning brain eat it's self.

How it will end - He's heading for a serious medical issue in the very near future, he's drinking so much he's falling down, using a wood lathe drunk, taking any random drug he can get his hand on and his teeth are dead and rotting in his skull, he's going to get into a situation where he pulls a cap gun in public and gets ventilated by someone, he pulls his knife and it gets given back to him or some other incident leading to serious long lasting harm if not outright death.
 
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Drachenlord

How I want it to end: Rainer finally mans up, gets a reasonably well paid temp-agency job as the unskilled laborer he is, works his ass off for five or so years, starts saving the money for moving into a rural area somewhere in east Germany and quietly prepares for a happy life either alone or with someone who actually loves him. He continues to work and maybe posts monthly updates on what he's up to on youtube, gaining some loyal followers that are genuinely interested that Rainer's finally doing well.

How it will end: Rainer already is homeless, and when he runs out of cash, the only option he has is welfare payments which are not nearly enough to pay for all the plasta-crap he loves. I doubt he'll live beyond 50, given how overweight he is.
 
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subject: keffals

how i want it to end: keffals detranistions,publicly denounces the child grooming, and spend his time now warning parents of the dangers of discord and illegal hrt.
how it will likely end: keffals eventually becomes yet another nobody on the internet and falls into obscurity and possibly 41%.

subject: ehtan ralph

how i want it to end: ethan continues to spiral down and provides even more harvest to us for years to come. meigh leaves him with rozy to go live with ther dad and ralph gets slapped with child support payments. he drunkenly rages on air about the whore and bitch mother of rozy, probably leaking revenge porn of her getting himself convicted yet again. he continues to rack up gambling debt, moves to an even cheaper/poorer region. gets kicked off cozy and rages about that faggot fuentes. fuentes and af respond back with a big release of information on him providing even more harvest for us. after years of this ethan eventually goes offline(possibly due to him no longer being able to afford a phone and internet connection) leaving us all to debate endlessly on his ultimate fate.

how it will likely end: he dies of a hear attack or an o.d. he could also possibly die from upsetting the wrong person in mexico. also death in an drunk driving accident he is the cause of is also very possible for him. these all seem very likely to me.

subject: patrick tomlinson

how i want it to end: he is finally forced to pay quassi, he has to sell his mustang and motorcycle to afford it. the pest celebrate endlessly on their victory. piggy rages more on twitter and drowns his sorrows at hooligans. he gains even more weight. nikki eventually leaves him. he gets angry and threatens her, the police show up, search his house and find his niggeroni in the basement. this leads him to being arrested and sent to jail.

how it will likely end: he dies of a heart attack due to being fat,angry, and drinking too much.
 
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Subject: Cyraxx

How I want it to end: Cyraxx learns to drive a car in real life and becomes the true DK of the street racing scene. He takes a corner too sharp and his car flips over and explodes. Fans all over the world hold memorial concerts where they sell merch of him in his memory.

How it will end: Toxic fallout covers the entirety of Ohio and the goblin scurries into a cave somewhere, never to be seen again. He spends the rest of his days sitting in the darkness like a real life Gollum muttering to himself about Music Biz Marty and the trolls.
 
AmberLynn

How I want it to end: ham sandwich lodges in her throat, she chokes to death, all alone while filming her 1,000th attempt at losing just one pound of fucking fat..

How's its going to end: Diabetes, Cellulitis, and a massive heart attack in her car on her way to Golden Corral. The paramedics can cut enough of the car off her to pull her out, so they call in a tow truck to extract her, but she won't budge. She's cut up into pieces and buried all over the state of Kentucky to warn fatties to stop eating themselves to death. Upon hearing the news of Amber Lynn's death and impending dirt nap, Lizzo hoists a ham sandwich up at her concert and then proceeds to choke to death in front of like 20 niggers. White Supremacy is blamed for Lizzo's death due to the fact that the ham came from a racist white farmer from Iowa.. There's a riot, ham is targeted for death by bands of ham hating niggers..
 
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Chantal

How i'd like it to end: Car accident live, every detail on screen / live stroke, heart failure

How it's most likely to end: Offscreen fatty bucket kicking
 
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King Cobra JFS

How I want it to end: One day when drunkenly making mix drink combos he mixes Clamato, White Monster, cough syrup, and wand finish accidentally creating a magic potion that lets him see and speak with demons. Under satan's tuteliage he slowly develops him dark arts until he becomes an arch wizard capable of casting powerful magiks and illusions. He decides to fly to England and uses his magical powers to give Ozzy and Sharon their youth back. Ozzy asks him to come on tour with him so Cobes can use his magic to put on the most insane and bad ass stage show with demons, fireballs, and lighting. While on tour Cobes meets a sexy of age boyfriend free goth girl, marries her, retires from touring, and builds a giant clock tower they live in. He then becomes the worlds most popular celebrity and streams 20 hours a day to tens of millions of cobramaniacs who love and adore him

How it will likely end: One day when drunkenly making mix drink combos he mixes Clamato, White Monster, cough syrup, and wand finish accidentally poison himself. While lying on the floor convulsing as his organs begin to fail, he will hallucinate meeting satan, learning magic, going on tour with Ozzy, meeting a goth girl, and living in a clock tower. The audience will be too busy making clips and talking about it online to call for help, and Cobes will shit his pants as he dies. An hour later Warlord will show up drunk, think Cobes is passed out, have sex with the corpse, and then pass out on the couch until the cops finally show up and take him into custody on suspicions of man slaughter.
 
KingCobraJFS

How I want it to end: He detoxes off of booze, drugs, and retarded MGTOW content, possibly due to Clint finally stepping in. He starts having actual interests again, goes out and enjoys a few concerts without getting wasted. Starts talking to the outside world again, and maybe even gets a part time job thanks to his sobriety and new clarity of mind (well as clear as it gets for an autist). Troles lose interest as he goes out and lives a sober life, instead of spending time terminally online like he currently does. He gets those damn teeth fixed, even if its only dentures.

How it will likely end: The bad boy gothic rock train continues, as he refuses to quit booze and drugs to preserve the image that exists only in his mind. Weens continue to enable this by sending him booze and laughing at him online. He will continue boring streams about gender relayshuns while watching redpillers even dumber than he is. One day, after dropping the word faggot or saying something against trannies one too many times, YouTube finally bans his channel. He streams to a backup or possible multiple backups, playing a game of regarded whack-a-mole with the toobz. His teeth become so rotted and loose, they begin to break apart and fall out. The vicious circle of troles and booze continues, as he deteriorates further, his body eventually failing him, with no attempts at cleaning up in sight.

Keffals/Ralph

How I want it to end: He goes onto the Killstream and finds mutual misogynistic, obese man-love with the Ralphamale. Ralph leaves May, and now that the horse is freed, she bolts from the stable, taking the foal with her, far away from Ralph. Keffals and Ralph are both reinvigorated with content and viewers for a while, and the milk flows. It all ends badly on a stream when Ralph drunkenly picks a fight with his Kween, and the Y chromosome jumps out of both of them, leading to a knock down, drag out fully male fight on stream. They leave one another, and their views go back to hemorrhaging. Ralph quietly ODs offstream, and Keffals, fortunately for us, begins to vanish off the internet, possibly from a 41%.

How it will likely end: Both will continue to cling to the bottom of the internet like dingleberries. May will be too stupid to leave. Keffals will be too stupid and degenerate to detrans and admit the TERFs were right.
 
DSP:
How I want it to end: He gets verbal beatdown from someone that convinces him he's been a beggar and an asshole for so long that he comes to reality and attempts to get a real job. It doesn't even have to be a good job, just something like Walmart or McDonald's.

How it likely will end: He'll die on stream before he hits 55, thinking he did nothing wrong and everything correct, probably of a heart attack or liver failure. No one will care, save for a handful of his old fans.
 
Subject: Low Tier God.

How I want it to end: Dale takes anger management courses and becomes a generally chill guy and a good sport. Instead of dashboarding every time his opponent gets the upper hand, he sees every match to the end and congratulates them when they beat him. In his down time, he practices his acting career, and manages to shoot a short film which earns him millions of views and adoration. He throws out all the piss bottles and begins practicing proper hygiene.

How it likely will end: Dale will continue to make account after account to evade his latest ban, with the only lessons learned being how to avoid getting caught the next time. He will continue scamming retards out of paid matches on his streams, until they finally wisen up and silently abandon him, leaving the well of tardbucks to dry up. Despite this, he will continue flaunting his supposed wealth to his audience of about five people for years to come.

When he hits middle-age, he starts aggressively hitting on women on Twitter about half his age, with none of his passes being seen as welcome. Ultimately, he is never able to find a woman to ride his BBC, and stumbles along with his dying YouTube career until he eventually dies a peaceful, meaningless death.
 
Terra/Fire

How I want it to end:
He acknowledges what he secretly knows, that trooning out and dedicating his life to coom has only made him miserable. He detransitions, loses weight and gets a decent job. He settles down with some nerdy chick.

How it’s going to end:
He continues to gain weight and engage in high-risk behaviours. Health conditions mount up, including diabetes, heart disease and various STIs. He spirals into further depression and continues to self-sabotage. Nevertheless, he continues to alternate between denial and unproductive self-pity. Eventually dies of complications from something that shouldn’t really kill you.
 
A-log Fantasy : Does something funny and interesting and is remembered more than just the reason why you don’t take the internet too seriously
A-Log reality : will continue to be a nontent nothing burger till the end of days,sharing his c list portfolio around on the same account he posts Furry MILFs until the ‘besity knocks him cold.
 
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Many of these cows simply need to eat healthy, get a job and get off the internet. They most certainly won't do any of those things though so slow bovine death for the lot of 'em.
 
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Subject: Cherie Hapney
How I want it to end: By some miracle Cherie's "movies" are discovered by a wide ironic audience. Reluctant at first, she soon embraces her newfound fame and notoriety and continues working on her Wogglebug franchise. Clips and edits of her work become popular memes and Wogglebug joins Pepe and Moonman as innocent character turned into an edgy meme.
How it will likely end: Cherie dies, alone and forgotten, in a group home. Her hopeless quest to make Wogglebug a household name is remembered only by few ironic fans.
 
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