I asked ChatGPT To Create A Lolcow - Introducing Gregory Wiffles

It would be funny lore if Zane assumed Josh being Josh Moon was an attempt at ayylawgging him and he crashes out sperging about it but realizes the truth, DFEs, and refuses to acknowledge it
You don't remember this? I swore I saw a compilation of his conspiracy streams about this.

Do you guys remember when he shit himself on stream while his "girlfriend" was visiting him and his mom?
 
Remember ChatGPT is part of the sanitized corporate hellscape. Troonery would be seen as a touchy subject and could potentially be making fun of a marginalized group. Brony stuff would be mentioning a specific copyrighted property which could upset the copyright holder.

Same situation with the female cow someone made, it picked the lamest, least controversial traits, just being a general bad bitch e-girl and thinking she's a martial artist. ChatGPT is not gonna dream up revenge porn scandals and tampons stuck to the wall.

My personal local lolcow is more extreme.
She's at least a Morbidly Obese fake martial artist, who loudly supports BLM, and tries to apply Scientologist "Dianetics" methods in her work.
 
Just the mental image...

Zane wakes up
it's dark out
his clock says it's noon though
he can't see anything out his window
he gets up, steps outside
actual size cardboard moon standee is sitting in his driveway, extending upward to impossible heights, disappearing into a haze of ozone
someone has depleted a dozen rainforests worth of wood to craft this, the earth's ecosystem is beyond damaged forever
his phone buzzes, Twitter notification
a simple message, "trolled, lol bam gottem"
camera pans out as we see him ranting, flailing his pudgy arms and stomping in front of the impossibly large cardboard moon
Kino
 
Here's my cow: a female version of Jack Scalfatty

Name: Sandy "Sloppy" Grubbs

Bio/Background:​


Sandy Grubbs is a self-proclaimed "gourmet chef" who runs a cooking channel called "Sandy's Sizzling Snacks." Like Jack Scalfani, she believes her recipes are revolutionary and groundbreaking, but they often turn out to be either disastrous or overly simplistic. She prides herself on being "authentically unpolished" and often offers dubious culinary advice.


Sandy’s gimmick is her “cheerfully chaotic” approach to cooking, where she messily throws together ingredients in ways that are just "too unique for mainstream chefs to understand." She constantly insists that her unrefined style is “real food for real people,” though the results often taste bland, undercooked, or just wrong.


Personality:​


  • Overconfidence: Sandy is incredibly confident in her cooking abilities, claiming that her amateur dishes are “just like what you’d get at a Michelin-star restaurant, but way better.” She refuses to take constructive criticism and argues that “haters don’t get it.”
  • Outlandish Excuses: If a dish goes wrong (which it often does), she blames everything but herself—“I think my oven was broken,” or “This kitchen just doesn't have the right vibe today,” or “The recipe must have been cursed.”
  • Catchphrases: "It’s just like Mom used to make, but way better!" and "You don’t need to be fancy to eat fancy!”
  • Social Media Drama: Her channel is also riddled with drama as she gets into frequent arguments in the comments with viewers, especially those who offer constructive feedback. She believes all criticism is “just jealous haters who can’t handle her greatness.”

Appearance:​


Sandy has an unrefined, slapdash appearance—think of her as someone who wears overly loud, ill-fitting aprons with cheesy phrases like "Eat. Cook. Love." She usually films in a cluttered kitchen, surrounded by mountains of half-used ingredients, takeout containers, and forgotten kitchen tools.


Cooking Style:​


  • Recipes: Sandy’s recipes range from laughable to strange. She often cooks overly simple things with bizarre twists—like adding a whole block of cheese to a microwave cup of soup or deep-frying spaghetti noodles in a pan without any batter.
  • Strange Substitutes: Sandy is notorious for using weird ingredient substitutes that don’t quite work (e.g., replacing butter with ketchup, using pancake syrup instead of soy sauce in stir fry).
  • Presentation: Her food is often unappetizing and poorly plated, but she proudly displays it with a smile and says, “It’s rustic!” or “This is how food should look, real and messy.”

Signature Dish:​


The "Grubbs Special": A mishmash of ingredients from various cultures that have no business being together—think mashed potatoes, sushi rice, and melted chocolate thrown into a casserole and “baked to perfection” (though, in reality, it’s a wet, gooey mess).


Fanbase:​


Sandy’s fanbase consists mainly of people who watch for the entertainment value—some enjoy the cringe factor, while others root for her in a “trainwreck” kind of way. She’s become a cult figure, with some even trying to imitate her ridiculous cooking style and adopt her oddball phrases.


Sample Video Titles:​


  • You Won’t Believe What I Put in My Spaghetti! (Spoiler: It’s Not Pasta!)”
  • How to Make Restaurant-Quality Beef Stew in a Microwave (and Why You Should Never Do This)
  • I’m Gonna Show You How to Make a 7-Course Meal with Just One Can of Soup!

Social Media Presence:​


Sandy also has a TikTok where she films herself cooking in “real-time,” with very few cuts, even when things go wrong. There, she often posts cringe-worthy recipe fails and captioned rants like, “People just don’t appreciate REAL food anymore.”
 
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Broadside
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