UK 'I live with my mum because I can't afford to move out'

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Energy prices rising, rents soaring at 9% a year, house prices at - or close to - record highs: it is easy to see why more people are still living in the family home in their 20s.

That is particularly true of adult sons still living with their mums. But does it work?

"He pays us rent. He's as good as gold. He's contributing to the household," says Anne Thompson, about her son Will. But he's not perfect.

"I'm still doing his washing."

For his part, Will, who is approaching his 25th birthday, says living with his mum works. However, he would love to move out and move on but prices are too high where they live in Cornwall.

"I want to do my own thing but Covid didn't do us any favours," he says. He looked at one flat just before the pandemic, only to find the rent had tripled following the lockdowns that made coastal and rural properties more popular.

Young men struggle to move out

Young, often single, adults say there is a lack of available and affordable homes to rent or buy, even when they have a frugal lifestyle.

Judging by responses to our Your Voice, Your BBC News project, it is a subject of huge frustration across the UK.

It is also expanding the generation unable to fly the nest.

The proportion of 25 to 34-year-olds still living with their parents has increased by more than a third in nearly two decades, according to a recent report by the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS).

Men are more likely to stay in the family home than women - with nearly a quarter of this age group failing to fly the nest. The sharpest rise has been among those in their 20s.

Bee Boileau, research economist at the IFS and an author of the report, says some are back with parents owing to a financial shock, but many simply can't afford to live independently.

NHS administration manager Kieran Fifield is among them. "It's an open house!" he says.

He and his brother live at home with their mum, Tracey. Their dad died in 2022.

"My mum would do anything to keep us at home all the time," he says of their strong family unit and her refusal to accept rent.

His girlfriend stays at the weekends which is fine "because it's not the 1890s", he says.

Again, Covid was a factor. He stayed in university halls of residence for five months, but the pandemic temporarily closed them down and forced him to complete his studies back at home. The cost of rental property on the southern coast of England means he has not left.

"It would take up half of our combined income and make it much harder to save for our own place," he says.

On Friday, the City regulator - the Financial Conduct Authority, said it would consider loosening strict lending rules to help first-time buyers and others purchase a home.

Aside from finances, how do these 20-somethings prevent their parents cramping their style when they are under the same roof?

Will Thompson admits there can be friction. He says his mum considers the kitchen as her territory.

Anne says there is a risk he stays "in a permanent state of teenagerhood", but Will says she still asks where he is going and who with.

"Parents love you unconditionally, but they do worry," he says.

Kieran Fifield says he has to accept that he lives in his mum's home, so he can't put his design and stamp on anything beyond his own room.

Ultimately, they all consider it a mostly positive experience, albeit one they would not necessarily choose.

Finding a balance

Others have spoken to the BBC about how they make the arrangement work.

One said she had a nice balance having lived back with her mum for the last five years, by having her freedom but enjoying film nights together.

Another said the compromise was the only way he could realistically save for a deposit to buy his own home.

Such a deposit amounts to tens of thousands of pounds, and a recent survey by Barclays suggested that an increasing number of those who have moved out of the family home still need financial help from their parents.

It said nearly six in 10 renters believed that it would be impossible to buy a home without an inheritance or loan from a family member.

So, it seems many of those who have managed to fly will still need help from their parents to buy their own nest.

How you can get to the front of the renting queue

Agents say there are some simple ways to make it easier to secure a rental property, including:

  • Start searching well before a tenancy ends and sign up with multiple agents
  • Have payslips, a job reference, and a reference from a previous landlord to hand
  • Build up a relationship with agents in the area, but be prepared to widen your search
  • Be sure of your budget and calculate how much you can offer upfront
  • Be aware that some agents offer sneak peeks of properties on social media before listing them

BBC News
Archive [January 19 2025]
 
and you guys blathering about multigenerational households are completely clueless about how that actually works. 1) you can't have sex 2) unless you're married 3) but your spouse and you are not full adults and you will be raising your children in a situation that constantly undermines your parental authority
But most late millenials/zoomers who live with their parents don't even have a bf/gf, let alone have sex often, that's a moot point. I've known people who leave their home early in life, and in many cases it works well for them, but I can't tell you of many recent examples where it did, and none where it was a loner the one who did it
 
But most late millenials/zoomers who live with their parents don't even have a bf/gf, let alone have sex often, that's a moot point. I've known people who leave their home early in life, and in many cases it works well for them, but I can't tell you of many recent examples where it did, and none where it was a loner the one who did it

this is a huge factor definitely

you have to tell young people they can't do things so they want to

I mean that's how it works with saying the nword
 
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Reactions: Toji Suzuhara
Yeah just live and work like a slave whilst your country keeps importing the globe for you to compete against. Fuck them kids for daring to complain about it. Just cause you're willing to work like a slave doesn't mean anyone else doesn't have standards.
You only work like a nigger if you live like a nigger. Working 'like a slave' for 5 years to get your shit together is what men do, not whiny, lazy faggots.


You can, I moved out at 18 on part time jobs and a uni grant of under 2 grand for the year. Never moved home, always wanted to be independent. But it was a massive struggle, and if I’d been living at home and working and saving hard, I’d have been a homeowner a good five years before I actually managed it.
I’d rather my kids stayed home a year or two and worked and saved up, we are also trying to save for them now, so they get a leg up. They would be contributing to the house as they always do in an age appropriate way - they’ve had their chores since they were tiny, everyone pitches in.
I think there’s a big difference between a kid coming home after a bad break up, job loss, or to save for a deposit than one who just turns into a perma-child. I have seen both, the latter you want to shake them and the former are usually cooking dinner and making sure the cupboards are stocked
I respect that you want to do what's best for your kids and there's no wrong or right answer. Is keeping them at home giving them a better start, or is it stunting their ability to deal with life at the cost of financial security? I don't know, only you and the little otters do.
 
Plus utilities, plus council tax, plus water, plus interwebs. The council tax is usually what fucks people up.

Part of the struggle for most is realising that your full time job will just about cover you, and they don’t want to give up drinking each weekend or fast food. Sharing a one bed with a partner works for some people. Of course one can always apply for Council tax reduction & housing benefit alongside Universal Credit to help with costs once you’re moved in, but then you’re slapped with a full monthly bill if you earn/work over a certain amount. Some private landlords don’t accept tenants on benefits.

The other route is social housing as it’s nearly half price rent, but without genuine reason for it the waiting list is long in many areas. Plus then you’re in a council estate lmao. It’s a start at least. The real problem is finding a way to save for a house deposit, or find someone who can exchange a bigger house for your shit little apartment.

My sister still lives at home with our dad as she and he both decided it was better for them. He doesn’t do her laundry or coddle her, and she pays to live with him.

Man in article just sounds lazy and wants to keep being a mummy’s boy though.
That example is band A council tax. Probably £100 a month and that lad is a mummy's boy. Given that she's old and probably widowed, I think that's something to be proud of.
 
respect that you want to do what's best for your kids and there's no wrong or right answer. Is keeping them at home giving them a better start, or is it stunting their ability to deal with life at the cost of financial security? I don't know, only you and the little otters do.
Honestly I don’t know. The option is there for them. I’ll always have their back. Same thing I was told, I could always go home. I never did (and some times were a real struggle)
I’ve seen peoples kids come home after a broken heart or a bad life event for a bit and regroup and be off again, and I’ve seen them just leech off their parents. Hopefully I’d be tough enough to pay the law down at the latter.
I don’t think most students want their style cramped by mum anyway and I suspect they will all fly the nest at 18 for uni. There’s only one or two close enough to go to while living at home anyway, so if they don’t go here they will need to move.
I dunno. I’d never kick them out and I’m always here for them (but I will tell them to get off their arses and repaint the garage or dig the allotment over…)
 
Bollocks.

He doesn't want to move out because he's a lazy faggot who doesn't want to work, budget or be responsible and instead wants to sit at home playing vidya and having tea cooked for him.

You can move out on a minimum wage. If that wage isn't enough, work longer hours, work harder, make something of yourself and climb the ladder.

The problem is, normiefaggot niggercattle can't stop paying for subscriptions; Netflix, PSN, Amazon Prime, Youtube, and refuse to cook for themselves so rely on Ubereats slop at 3x the price of home made food.

MATI but I hate lazy faggots who blame the economy of everything. I lived through 2008 recession and 5 years' worth of austerity. Stop complaining on the internet, get to fucking work and take some responsibility you lazy cunt.
What job do you actually do?
 
I never did (and some times were a real struggle)
I can relate to you with this. I never had a safety net, the only I have is the one I built for myself out of resilience and resourcefulness - I can work a minimum wage job and still survive. That's a valuable place to be and I owe it to the hard times I went through as a teenager/young adult.

I'm a believer of getting back on the horse. If you take too long out the saddle, it get's harder to jump back in. This is just me personally but If I was offered an easy life, I would take it, stagnate and hit a depression. A hard, challenging life is a fun and rewarding one, so I believe.
 
I can relate to you with this. I never had a safety net, the only I have is the one I built for myself out of resilience and resourcefulness - I can work a minimum wage job and still survive. That's a valuable place to be and I owe it to the hard times I went through as a teenager/young adult.

I'm a believer of getting back on the horse. If you take too long out the saddle, it get's harder to jump back in. This is just me personally but If I was offered an easy life, I would take it, stagnate and hit a depression. A hard, challenging life is a fun and rewarding one, so I believe.
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Every other culture lets kids stay home and not pay rent to rapacious landlords.
Mine have been told they’re all welcome here for as long as they need to, or if life ever goes sideways they always have us as a backup. I wouldn’t be waiting on them hand and foot and I’d expect them to contribute, maybe not rent, but housework, grocery shop etc.
life would be much easier for all of us if multi generational living was more common.
I think multi-generational households are fine, but America's in a weird state regarding them.

Granted, if you're not contributing in any way then you can go get fucked. Go talk to the old folks, help out with groceries/expenses, and tidy the place up. I do it. I know others who do it. The one issue is that I've noticed plenty of midwits who look down on it and stereotype it with the basement dwellers.
 
Multi-generational households build strong family ties and work everywhere else in the world, but too many westerners in our endless arrogance believe we've figured out something better by throwing our family to the wolves as soon as possible. We do this while people preaching against multi-generational households wonder why the family unit is so weak and why people are so lonely compared to "poor countries".

The entire concept of "move out asap" only benefits landlords by ensuring endless tenants to exploit and the rich by ensuring little to no cost sharing is done.
Ehhhhhh... I've never really been sold on this. I agree that having it happen at 18 is questionable, but I think at some point everyone needs to live on their own.

I had a good relationship with both my parents. I was kind of scared of moving out even in my mid 20s. But I did it, and it was the best fucking thing I ever did. Looking back I don't think I was even a real human being before I did.
 
Is that Heather Brookes? Because if it is, that's probably the most erotic thing she has done, and it is about as erotic as a 60 Minutes special on alpacas.
nope, porn star by the name xev bellringer.
amazing how it has been quite a many years since ive seen her porn, yet i still recognize her and know the name. god i hate the anti-christ, i hate the anti-christ.
 
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