UK 'I live with my mum because I can't afford to move out'

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Energy prices rising, rents soaring at 9% a year, house prices at - or close to - record highs: it is easy to see why more people are still living in the family home in their 20s.

That is particularly true of adult sons still living with their mums. But does it work?

"He pays us rent. He's as good as gold. He's contributing to the household," says Anne Thompson, about her son Will. But he's not perfect.

"I'm still doing his washing."

For his part, Will, who is approaching his 25th birthday, says living with his mum works. However, he would love to move out and move on but prices are too high where they live in Cornwall.

"I want to do my own thing but Covid didn't do us any favours," he says. He looked at one flat just before the pandemic, only to find the rent had tripled following the lockdowns that made coastal and rural properties more popular.

Young men struggle to move out

Young, often single, adults say there is a lack of available and affordable homes to rent or buy, even when they have a frugal lifestyle.

Judging by responses to our Your Voice, Your BBC News project, it is a subject of huge frustration across the UK.

It is also expanding the generation unable to fly the nest.

The proportion of 25 to 34-year-olds still living with their parents has increased by more than a third in nearly two decades, according to a recent report by the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS).

Men are more likely to stay in the family home than women - with nearly a quarter of this age group failing to fly the nest. The sharpest rise has been among those in their 20s.

Bee Boileau, research economist at the IFS and an author of the report, says some are back with parents owing to a financial shock, but many simply can't afford to live independently.

NHS administration manager Kieran Fifield is among them. "It's an open house!" he says.

He and his brother live at home with their mum, Tracey. Their dad died in 2022.

"My mum would do anything to keep us at home all the time," he says of their strong family unit and her refusal to accept rent.

His girlfriend stays at the weekends which is fine "because it's not the 1890s", he says.

Again, Covid was a factor. He stayed in university halls of residence for five months, but the pandemic temporarily closed them down and forced him to complete his studies back at home. The cost of rental property on the southern coast of England means he has not left.

"It would take up half of our combined income and make it much harder to save for our own place," he says.

On Friday, the City regulator - the Financial Conduct Authority, said it would consider loosening strict lending rules to help first-time buyers and others purchase a home.

Aside from finances, how do these 20-somethings prevent their parents cramping their style when they are under the same roof?

Will Thompson admits there can be friction. He says his mum considers the kitchen as her territory.

Anne says there is a risk he stays "in a permanent state of teenagerhood", but Will says she still asks where he is going and who with.

"Parents love you unconditionally, but they do worry," he says.

Kieran Fifield says he has to accept that he lives in his mum's home, so he can't put his design and stamp on anything beyond his own room.

Ultimately, they all consider it a mostly positive experience, albeit one they would not necessarily choose.

Finding a balance

Others have spoken to the BBC about how they make the arrangement work.

One said she had a nice balance having lived back with her mum for the last five years, by having her freedom but enjoying film nights together.

Another said the compromise was the only way he could realistically save for a deposit to buy his own home.

Such a deposit amounts to tens of thousands of pounds, and a recent survey by Barclays suggested that an increasing number of those who have moved out of the family home still need financial help from their parents.

It said nearly six in 10 renters believed that it would be impossible to buy a home without an inheritance or loan from a family member.

So, it seems many of those who have managed to fly will still need help from their parents to buy their own nest.

How you can get to the front of the renting queue

Agents say there are some simple ways to make it easier to secure a rental property, including:

  • Start searching well before a tenancy ends and sign up with multiple agents
  • Have payslips, a job reference, and a reference from a previous landlord to hand
  • Build up a relationship with agents in the area, but be prepared to widen your search
  • Be sure of your budget and calculate how much you can offer upfront
  • Be aware that some agents offer sneak peeks of properties on social media before listing them

BBC News
Archive [January 19 2025]
 
NHS admin manager earns between 26-36K a year. Trying to live by yourself on 26K a year is an exercise in futility, 36K is doable but you're going to be scrounging. Hope he's saving a lot of money for a house by staying at home.

EDIT: Okay, I just checked the rental prices for his area out of curiosity. You're looking at half your wage on 26K a year, roughly, on rent. Not including bills and council tax and all that jazz. So it's expensive for sure. But doable. He's not actually desperate to move out. I pay double what he does because as much as I love my family, I'm in my late 20's and if I had to live with them I'd probably shoot myself or sign up to the army to get away lol.

If he's upper band for NHS, then he's able to move into a 1-2 bedroom flat just fine. Buying a house would be difficult if we go by the '10% deposit' for mortgage then he's looking at 32K saved up. If he finds himself someone, and they have both saved well for five-ish years, then that's not insane. I mean, it's fucking insane that houses are that much money when wages are bombed out into a crater, but that's been an issue for a while now and shows no sign of changing anytime soon; the act of getting a mortgage isn't that horrific for him so long as he meets someone to pay half the deposit.
 
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26K a year
If that, considering how much tax you gotta pay you're looking getting 21k (maybe) and that's before rent, utilities, food and god forbid you want a little freedom and own a car. The country doesn't incentivize working hard cause you will get more money by just claiming benefits and dossing around all day. Extra if you pop out a couple of kids and a bonus if they're retarded. Why work when your hard work is going to prop up the 3rd world and the lower percentile.
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There's a reason why this image resonates with people.
 
Buying a house would be difficult if we go by the '10% deposit' for mortgage then he's looking at 32K saved up
Lifehack: You don't need to save up for a mortgage. Banks will loan you the amount to put down on a house if you take out the loan and mortgage with them. They won't be happy, but if you buy a cheap house, you can/could have a mortgage that costs half of your rent, allowing you to put the other half towards the loan.

Voila, you have a house at little financial cost (interest of the loan) above renting and it isn't dead money.
 
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Lifehack: You don't need to save up for a mortgage. Banks will loan you the amount to put down on a house if you take out the loan and mortgage with them. They won't be happy, but if you buy a cheap house, you can/could have a mortgage that costs half of your rent, allowing you to put the other half towards the loan.

Voila, you have a house at little financial cost (interest of the loan) above renting and it isn't dead money.
Depends on the area, and the risk, that's why I went with the rough 'middle of the road' sort of thing. I've seen banks demand 15% deposits, and go down to 5%. You can get them to finangle around with it for sure; but it's very much a case of knowing you can do that, and them letting you do that. The standard path most people are told to take, and are told that works is 10% upfront. I know a couple that did a weird partial purchase and used it like a ratchet to get more and more of the property under lock with the mortgage, took them a little longer, but they got it in.
 
Depends on the area, and the risk, that's why I went with the rough 'middle of the road' sort of thing. I've seen banks demand 15% deposits, and go down to 5%. You can get them to finangle around with it for sure; but it's very much a case of knowing you can do that, and them letting you do that. The standard path most people are told to take, and are told that works is 10% upfront. I know a couple that did a weird partial purchase and used it like a ratchet to get more and more of the property under lock with the mortgage, took them a little longer, but they got it in.
If you pass the financial test of having enough money to be able to do it, the banks can't say no to a loan or mortgage. I put down 5% using a £10k loan and kept the rest for furnishings and redecorating. Two years later, spun it for a profit.
I did that again, this time on a cheap house which, thanks to COVID, went retarded on the valuation and sold up for profit, moved into digs while I started my business, then bought a house abroad for £20k. YMMV.

I started life stacking shelves. 0 uni or college education, no hand outs, no family support or even communication from the family. Anyone who says they can't achieve a house is a lying nigger and a feckless waste of oxygen.
 
Anyone who says they can't achieve a house is a lying nigger and a feckless waste of oxygen.
then bought a house abroad
Couldn't find one here? Like every expat you run away but still complain. At least the zoomers here live in the country rather than fucking off abroad and whine on about how bad things are. What about people who have home, friends and family here, they're just suppose to uproot their lives, leave their homeland and be a foreigner that the natives complain about.
 
Couldn't find one here? Like every expat you run away but still complain. At least the zoomers here live in the country rather than fucking off abroad and whine on about how bad things are. What about people who have home, friends and family here, they're just suppose to uproot their lives, leave their homeland and be a foreigner that the natives complain about.
Seek help.
 
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Couldn't find one here? Like every expat you run away but still complain. At least the zoomers here live in the country rather than fucking off abroad and whine on about how bad things are. What about people who have home, friends and family here, they're just suppose to uproot their lives, leave their homeland and be a foreigner that the natives complain about.
Anyone leaving the country, whether an expat or in general, has a unique perspective on their native country's current state. That being said, everyone has different circumstances in life; some are more privileged and established than others, and that privilege can be subjective. While many here may have come from a relatively middle-class family or are somewhat already educated, that means (mostly) educational stability and planning for their kids; some may have nothing or be the first ones going to university or creating their stability in some other way.

This guy in the article his story is not uncommon, It's more the norm now- and that says more about how our government and as a collective society, failed not only sometimes ourselves, but each other. It isn't just this country either, in most countries the age of people staying at home with their parents increases, but this may be a cultural phenomenon or due to economic strains.
 
how on earth can they do that anyway, when so many women are deliberately single mothers who may as well have used a turkey baster?
Follow-up questions: Did the men have sex with the women? Did they wear protection? Surely at your age, you are aware of what can happen when people have unprotected sex?
 
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Men are to blame for sticking their dicks in random women they don't know and trust without protection. Women are to blame for being degenerate whores who think fathers don't matter.
 
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Follow-up questions: Did the men have sex with the women? Did they wear protection? Surely at your age, you are aware of what can happen when people have unprotected sex?
Hell, I've heard stories off of Tom Leykis (radio show out of L.A.) where guys found out their condoms were fished out the trash and the girls used them to impregnate themselves. Thus was born the concept of contaminating used condoms with hot sauce.
 
Hell, I've heard stories off of Tom Leykis (radio show out of L.A.) where guys found out their condoms were fished out the trash and the girls used them to impregnate themselves. Thus was born the concept of contaminating used condoms with hot sauce.
There was a journalist in the UK, Liz Jones,who did the same thing too.

Tbh if a man doesn't trust a woman not to do this then they're an idiot to fuck them. Go see a prostitute instead. We have taken an extremely casual attitude to sex for far too long and while the sex industry is the far end of that at least the chances of getting trapped with a baby you never wanted with a stranger are tiny.
 
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