If you were forced to name your baby after a consumerist product character what would it be?

[Rome's rightful successor]

For example naming your kid Sheev, Spyro, Waluigi or anything of the like.

 

[sonatine]

Twins named Sonic and Pikachu.

 

[misterduckford]

Stretch Armstrong

 

[Santa Fe Swag]

Captain Morgan

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

Captain Olimar

 

[Pruto]

Easy, they would be named A Pimp Named Slickback.

 

[Pro. Memer]

Animal Crossing isn't bad inspiration for classic, obscure names like Ione or Ducko

 

[Shidoen]

Kel’Thuzad

 

[Jason Wynn]

The Nameless One

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I'd name my newly circumcised baby boy Walter Sullivan.

 

[Niggernerd]

Lootcrate

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

if your wife forced you

You’re dying a fucking virgin

 

[Meat Target]

Name them after a character from Product that has a normal (or normal-ish) name.

For example, Yennefer from the Witcher? Name them Jennifer. Mercy from Overwatch? Angela.

(Then again, your daughter might take exception to being named after turbo-sluts).

 

[Obi Wan Kenobi]

Rhinozen Black Fire Platinium 35000 Time Size Stamina Male Enhancement Pills Jr.

I dont care if its not a character, its gas station boner pills and it deserves a character in some shitty neoconsumerist netflix series.

 

[singletxguyforfun]

Wild Turkey

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

If bands count, Jethro Tull

 

[Glowie Hunter Art Bell]

Not really consumer, just a brand. Shelby

 

[Professor G. Raff]

Segata Sanshiro!

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

Edward Hyde

 

[IDanceonTrannyGraves]

If bands count, Jethro Tull

That was also a real person, so winner all round.

 

[Black Light Red Panic]

I would unironically name my half-Inuit/half-Italian daughter Korra.