I'm British AMA - Toodle-pip, let's do a flip

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Spunt said:
Because I was clearly someone heinous in a previous life, like a serial killer or the arsehole who invented clamshell packaging.

Just to suffer.

If you want to buy cigarettes in the UK, the counter by law looks like this:
View attachment 3735086
The packets themselves by law look like this:
View attachment 3735087

But you can castrate your children no problem.

As for smoking fags, I hear that's more a Slovakian thing.
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So I can take my little Duke Jr. to the "body shop" to have his twig and berries mutilated by some mad butcher who is allowed by British law to call himself a "surgeon," then turn the remaining bits into a crude and necrotic mockery of female genitalia...

But I'm going to have to jump through hoops for a pack of cigarettes?

Thank God we won the war 🇺🇲
 
Duke Nukem said:
So I can take my little Duke Jr. to the "body shop" to have his twig and berries mutilated by some mad butcher who is allowed by British law to call himself a "surgeon," then turn the remaining bits into a crude and necrotic mockery of female genitalia...

But I'm going to have to jump through hoops for a pack of cigarettes?

Thank God we won the war 🇺🇲
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We don't call them "hoops" we call them "Spiny Holes"
 
If you could go around wearing a monocle and top hat would you?
 
How realistic are public info campaigns like this?

1665759605517.png

I love absurd surreal humor but the more I listen to Britbongs, the more the UK seems like a Kafka-esque fever-dream than a joke.
 
How does it feel to know that not only do the French have a larger army and navy than you, but they're also more actively involved in defending their interests abroad?
 
teriyakiburns said:
Very realistic if you're in the 70s.

Sid the Slug is more the level of things these days.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7fz6MbX22D0
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1970s and 80s British PSAs were directed by horror film makers and are far more terrifying than most modern horror films. Bear in mind these were made for CHILDREN:


This one wasn't made for children, but was apparently very effective in reducing AIDS levels. It's demonised now, but it scared the absolute shit out of everyone:


Also whatever the FUCK this thing is:


soy_king said:
How does it feel to know that not only do the French have a larger army and navy than you, but they're also more actively involved in defending their interests abroad?
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They don't have our world-class copium mines though. Plus they have to have a border with Belgium and they almost don't deserve that.
 
Who are your favorite writers, thinkers or shitposters?

And more importantly, where do you get your ideas?
 
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