0:00 ‘Hey guise!’ Well, that’s an enthusiastic and energetic greeting. Absolutely no going for any sympathy in this video. Seems almost manic levels of energy compared to what she’s displayed as of late.
0:04 ‘So I have, like, a huge update type thing.’ OH FUCK ME. It’s going to be like this, huh? Raping my brain with your stupid sentence structure? (Cracks knuckles) Bring it on.
0:07 She asks what the date is. You can clearly hear both Becky and Mamameth tell her that it’s the 8th. Sounds like Mamameth’s right by the camera.
0:12 She shows off the footlong Subway sandwich she’s going to be eating. A fucking footlong. So much for that weight-loss goal, you idiotic behemoth.
0:18 ‘So don’t get mad at me. I did try to choose… healthier option’ HAHAHAHAHHA. Her healthier option is light mayonnaise, onion, olive and turkey. She also did mention she doesn’t like going for the healthier options. Dummy, if you wanted to make it healthy, you would’ve ditched the mayo altogether, gotten spinach for some necessary vitamins and nutrients, ditched the olives, gotten some peppers (I hate them, but I’m sure snarfoluffugus here would’ve inhaled them without noticing them) along with your onions and maybe some other assorted veg (spoken stuff not fucking soaked in vinegar (aka: olives). Alright, enough rambling from me. Back to AL rambling.
0:31 Shows off her diet soda. And yes, she had to get the fucking 30+ oz large sack of fuck. Sodium ahooooooyyyyyy!!!!! Chase that shit with a gallon of water, dear.
0:35 Now she’s talking about how she woke up intentionally to make cauliflower fried rice. Went to the kitchen and it’s a wreck. Blathers about how she’s going in to get her hysterectomy in less than a week, and how she’s supposed to be calm and serene and shit. Blah blah blah blah, she’s rambling about how she’s supposed to be calm and she’s not at all.
1:35 ‘A little flashback.’ So now she’s talking about how a couple of months ago she and Necky decided to move and create a life for themselves because they’re getting close to 30 and they wanted to be closer to her family. So they went and found a house and shit, and that’s what she was hinting towards.
2:10 Said that it was during their house purchasing shit is when she found out that she was with cancer.
2:33 ‘We ended up not getting approved for the house because we were not the first person to put in an application. They did first come first serve or whatever.’ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
2:46 So apparently this all happened when her mother was there, she slowly found out that she was getting her uterus ripped out, and told Becky that it was too much drama and they needed to wait until after surgery. AKA: Let’s see how much money I have left.
3:20 Confirmation that Erik and Rickie moved out.
3:25 ‘It’s like all of us were over this location.’ So the fags ran away while the running was good, and AL is stuck in the house LOL
3:50 ‘I don’t really like this house, everyone knows that, it’s not really my cup of tea.’ No shit.
4:23 Blathers about how she and the fags were competing for the same location and shit. Then whines that the landlord found out that everyone was planning on moving, so the landlord told them ‘congrats, get the fuck out, I have a responsible tenant wanting to move in.’ HAHAHAHAHA!
5:10 Her anxiety apparently exploded. FFS, why couldn’t we have gotten the near-homeless saga on video instead of the stupid ‘prerecorded’ mookbongs?!!? I would’ve enjoyed the FUCK outta that!! Like even watched without Adblock on!!!
5:15 So two days ago she messaged every single place she could find and tell them she was ready to move in within a few days and she wanted to move in before surgery. And she was being a doubting Thomas that they’d get a place and be able to pack and shit before said surgery.
6:00 So yeah, they got a place to move to. Sounds like they got a rental property, because there’s no house-purchase and approval process.
6:25 So finally she gets around to that being why the kitchen’s wrecked - because of packing fiascos.
6:29 Says she got emotional and cried because it’s home and they’re leaving and shit. But you just said you hate that house, so shut the fuck up, you idiot. Now she’s fake-near-crying about leaving the joint she doesn’t like.
7:00 Now she’s sad for her animals because she’s uprooting them and demolishing their territory. Worries that they’re not processing what’s happening. Of course they’re not, you idiot. You’re taking away their territory. And they don’t understand the human proclivity of packing up their shit.
7:55 After waxing on and on about how she feels bad for her animals, she professes she hopes that they can create a home where they’re moving. Don’t worry, they’ll piss all over it to mark their territories soon enough, blubberbutt.
8:03 Talks about how her animals hate moving every time and they always hate the place the first few days/weeks after they arrive, ‘but eventually, somehow, some way, it works out.’ Because they’re animals.
8:43 Seriously? She’s thinking of bringing scented soap to the hospital? You dumb shit. The stupidity, it can’t be exaggerated here.
9:05 ‘I was having heart palpitations’ because of her anxiety. And started singing. And talking in her sleep.
9:28 Becky, off camera, says she was also talking in her sleep. AL looks right at the camera and simps out ‘I never talk in my sleep. I must be super stressed. That’s scary!’ Reaction to that? IMMEDIATELY OPEN SUBWAY SANDWICH. Yeah, scary alright.
9:38 ‘See? I told you guys.’ Her reply to hearing from Becky is that everything she was saying in her sleep was jumbled. Which it typically is with sleep talkers. The fuck.
10:09 She’s STILL talking about how she’s stressed because she’s going to be recovering and shit within the next month, when they have to completely vacate the fagshanty. I wonder how much more stress she’ll have when they get the bill for cleaning up her bloody offerings and fat stench that’s soaked into the flooring and walls.
10:12 Says it’s a ‘bad, disgusting thought’ that she might not make it through surgery, and told Mamameth that ‘when I wake up from surgery, I’m going to ball my eyes out because I’m going to be so freaking happy to be alive.’ Insert rainbow here.
10:30 Now is blathering on that you don’t realize how much you love life until you may lose it. Then you should’ve had that realization when you were a chunkster bratling huffing down two lunches plus other kids’ snacks every day, AL.
10:43 ‘So the reason I want to move before surgery is that it makes no sense to pack and move while I’m recovering when they told me I can’t even lift anything this size (lifts her giant soda) at all. Like I can’t lift anything this size for weeks.’ And then she talks about how she’s not having Becky do everything. However, in the background you can hear Becky fucking doing everything. Pardon me while I smash my head into my table right now, because AL doesn’t realize how dumb she sounds right now.
11:10 ‘This house looks crazy.’ GET. A. THESAURUS.
11:27 Oh fuck, now I’m feeling nauseous because she’s waddling with the camera. She meanders to the den to show off her pile of boxes. I can hardly pay attention because it’s waggling so damned much.
12:04 They’re moving somewhere that AL considers nice. Huh.
12:17 Well, she finally takes a bite of her sandwich, and an 8th of it just vanished into her giant maw.
12:53 Had to give us that ‘crazy’ update. GET. A. THESAURUS. REDUX.
12:55 ‘I know some of you hate me and give me bad jujus, but those who care, give me good jujus. Prayers, if you’re a good witch good voodoo.’
13:20 Signs off because there’s a lot to do and she’s got to eat. Retarded kiss outro.
